thed Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When It Comes To Gymnastics, It's Good To Pick A Winner
We always enjoy catching people knuckle-deep, but it's somewhat disturbing in this context. It's probably because of the come-hither look on his face. (It's actually because of his pencil mustache.)...
ESPN Finally Covered The NHL, Thanks To The Olympics
These are dark days for ESPN, with NBC stealing the nation's collective sports eyes and talent evacuating Bristol like a Chris Berman barbecue dinner. Desperate to reclaim public attention, the WWL is going after that untapped market of Columbus Blue Jackets fans, albeit in a strange way. By random...
Perverts Abound At The London Olympics
We acknowledge gymnasts' leotards leave little to the imagination, and while we've never attended a competition in person it's just assumed that, like on a nude beach, staring is the sort of thing most would consider gauche....
The Cats Are Fat And Happy
South Korea drew 0-0 with Mexico in an early but entertaining men's soccer match this morning, one with a result we think satisfied this fan—if only because it meant he could finally take that ridiculous thing off....
Daily Screencap Classic: Jim Tressel Can't Believe His Eyes
I'm in the office this week instead of my usual militarized sports media bunker in Jacksonville, which (ironically?) means it won't be easy to do my job grab our usual screencaps. Thus, I elected to remind ourselves of the mass outrage just one short year ago when we learned Jim Tressel did various...
Last Night's <em>Raw</em> Featured An Entire Virgilbag's Worth Of Washed-Up Wrestlers
I don't watch wrestling any more, but I used to, so for me the best parts of last night's 1,000th Raw episode were when USA Network aired clips of those late '90s Attitude Era matches from my teenage years....
The A's Finishing A Four-Game Sweep Of The Yankees Is So Improbable It Sounds Like Something Out Of WWE
A game-tying homer in the ninth forced extras, and Coco Crisp's 12th-inning walkoff single closed the door on an unexpected four-game series sweep of the Yankees for Oakland. The performance had Yanks fans wondering if happy days would ever return and the rest of the American League East breathing ...
Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...
So, What Kind of Batman Movie Should They Make Next?
Whatever your thoughts end up being about The Dark Knight Rises—even if you're like me, say, and think it pales it comparison to the previous two films but still sorta blows you away—Christopher Nolan has wrapped up his trilogy in a fashion that clearly won't damage his legacy: This isn't Spider-Man...
Jimmy Rollins: Sass Machine
With a series sweep of the Dodgers an out away and Jonathan Papelbon on the mound, the Philadelphia Phillies might have had their bags mentally packed. But when Matt Kemp beat out a deep infield single—one that drove in the tying run and eventually led to Kemp's walk-off 12th-inning homer—Jimmy Rol...
Bruce Wanes. <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em>, Reviewed.
1. The first two Batman films from director Christopher Nolan were so transcendent, so ambitious and challenging and grand, that The Dark Knight Rises feels like more of a disappointment than it should. The first two movies, especially The Dark Knight, were miracles, an impossible combination of uni...
Reds Analyst Chris Welsh Ransacked Don Cherry's Wardrobe
If there's anything a sports commentator can do to prove he (or she) is grounded and sane, it's to wear a ridiculous outfit. After all, it works for Craig Sager and Don Cherry. So here's Fox Sports Ohio Reds analyst Chris Welsh sprucing up his usual outfit with a colorful number we're not quite sur...
POTUS And FLOTUS Showed Some PDA To Team USA
President Obama brought the family to watch Team USA's exhibition against Brazil, one that ended up being a lot more interesting than expected as the American squad found itself in an early hole only to pull out an 80-69 victory....
Ozzie Guillen May Wish To Avoid Taking Managerial Advice From Tinfoil Hat Guy
Ever-profane Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen got himself into a bit of hot water Sunday as his gripes about Nats rookie Bryce Harper's bat drew the ire of home plate umpire Marty Foster. Foster told Guillen to shut his trap about what the Miami skipper felt was too much pine tar on Harper's stick, af...
Christopher Nolan Is A Summer-Movie Superhero
Loving big summer movies as an adult can be a sad and lonely thing. When you're a kid, any action blockbuster that you watch is epic. You haven't seen enough to compare. But then you get older, and you realize that they follow certain formulas and attract a certain audience, which is a lot younger t...
Watching Your Quarterback Throw The Game Away With A Minute Left Is Enough To Cause A Serious Headache
Up by 12 with three minutes remaining, the Calgary Stampeders seemed a lock for a win over Montreal last night. A quick Alouettes touchdown followed by a boneheaded interception by Stampeders QB Kevin Glenn —we called it, at the time, Favresque— with a minute remaining that had even the CFL's websi...
Rogers SportsNet Has Some Curious Suggestions About How To Spend A Day Without Sports
The day following the MLB All-Star Game is one of the worst for sports fans—and sportswriters—due to a lack of major sporting events. (Don't ask for help from MLS; they only had one match yesterday and none tonight.) Since baseball extended the break by a day, we're in the same sports vacuum today ...
Kansas City's Smoky Air Turned Bryce Harper Into A Zombie
The National League spanked the AL in last night's All-Star Game, which may actually be news to you given ratings almost certainly went down yet again for the Midsummer Classic....
John Kruk Bogarted All The Barbecue
It's the All-Star Break in Kansas City, which like dozens of other American geographical locations is known for its barbecue. ESPN analyst John Kruk spent much of last night's Home Run Derby broadcast gnawing on grub, including through an entire interview with former Royals star George Brett. (Orio...