theo Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Theo Epstein, legacy secure, doesn't want any part of this mess
Perhaps the news isn’t that Theo Epstein is resigning from his position of President of Baseball Operations of the Cubs, but that anyone is graciously stepping aside and handing power to the next person in line. Need more of that these days....
Kelly Loeffler’s endorsement from QAnon supporter shows how far America has fallen
In a different America, Kelly Loeffler and her financial transactions — that sure as hell look like she was trading on privileged information — would be the political scandal of the year, if not the decade....
Theo Epstein Landlord-Tenant Lawsuit Pits Scorpion Infestation Against Home-Befouling Doggo
Cubs executive Theo Epstein is embroiled in a not-at-all-classic security deposit dispute with a landlord whose home in Paradise Valley, Arizona Epstein rented with his family during spring training in 2015. The landlord says Epstein’s small family dog was a prolific piss-monster; Epstein says the h...
Joe Maddon Out As Cubs Manager
Joe Maddon’s time with the Chicago Cubs is over. The team confirmed on Sunday that it will not bring their manager back for next season, according to multiple reports. Maddon told reporters on Saturday that he had a planned late-night meeting with Theo Epstein to discuss what his future would be wit...
Let's Remember Some Guys Goes West: Jewish Baseball Legends Of The '70s
You hear stories. A man out west, they said. A healer, a powerful man, possessed with riches untold about which he is unaccountably humble. Of course, in the Guy Remembering game you hear all kinds of things. Memory is complicated, memory is variable; the story as you tell it is not as you heard it,...
In Miracle, Orioles Somehow Manage To Avoid Falling Victim To Perfect Game
The Orioles are in the midst of a historically bad season with many lowlights that will likely be used in hospitals all over the country to help patients induce vomiting. But to those cursed with supporting this team, I bring good news. Baltimore showed on Sunday that the depths of their awfulness d...
Recently Promoted Spanish Soccer Club Renamed As Flat Earth FC
After earning promotion to the Spanish fourth flight division, the club formerly known as Mostoles Balompie got a complete rebrand from president Javi Poves and was renamed Flat Earth FC. Poves confirmed in a video statement that the change was intended to support one of the dumbest fringe beliefs:...
Not Surprisingly, It's Bad News When The Words "Orioles" And "Dingers" And "Record" Appear In The Same Sentence
Home runs are up across baseball. The woeful Baltimore Orioles will not be the only team whose pitchers give up what in previous eras would’ve been considered nauseating dinger totals. Still, statistics like this, courtesy of Eddie Matz of ESPN, continue to be appalling, at least in part for how suc...
Trail Blazers In Petty Feud With Local Publication Over Powerfully Inane Blog Post
If, or more realistically, when the Portland Trail Blazers are eliminated, it will mark the end of the deepest playoff run for the franchise in almost 20 years. They should be focusing on this triumph, and what it portends for the future. Instead, the organization is picking a petty fight with a lo...
It Sure Sounds Like A Cubs Exec Was Trying To Influence Addison Russell Coverage
Nine days before the end of Addison Russell’s 40-game suspension for violating MLB’s domestic violence policy, USA Today’s Bob Nightengale wrote a puff piece about the shortstop’s search for redemption after his ex-wife, Melisa Reidy, said he emotionally and physically abused her. It’s the kind of s...
Report: Michael Avenatti Paid For A Jet With $2.5M He Embezzled From A Settlement Hassan Whiteside Paid To His Ex-Girlfriend
The federal indictment against Michael Avenatti that accused the lawyer of stealing millions of dollars from his clients referred to the victims of his alleged financial crimes with numerical monikers (Client 1, 2, etc.). But thanks to a report from the Los Angeles Times, the identity of Client 2—wh...
Michael Avenatti Did Everything Wrong
You wouldn’t want a news cycle to pass without something to read about Michael Avenatti, and lord knows he wouldn’t either. Because he cares, and because he’s apparently been on an IRS watch list for a decade, that will never happen....
At Least The Oscars Satisfied Mike Francesa
When the Oscars handed Best Picture to Green Book, the filmic equivalent of saying “I don’t see color,” it was widely seen a goof on the order of Crash winning the same in 2006. Awards shows are stupid, sure, and the Oscars reliably get things wrong in silly and self-conscious ways. But you could at...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2019 Oscars
I remember I used to have a hard time waiting for the Oscars to arrive. I shit you not. I would get super jazzed for them, then roll my eyes at the prospect of having to wait for months between the end of the movie year and the stupid ceremony. I, uh, no longer feel this way. The Oscars come around ...
There's Only One <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Fan Theory That Matters Anymore
The time has come once again for Game of Thrones—the hit HBO show about hiking with your pals and smooching your relatives—to return to TV after a lengthy absence. The forthcoming eighth season will be the show’s last, and though it features only six episodes, it’s already been confirmed that they w...
Alex Jones's Feud With Joe Rogan Is Just As Stupid As It Was Inevitable<em></em>
Like two neutron stars slowly pulled together by their mutual gravity, orbiting around each other before collapsing together and obliterating everything in space around them, Alex Jones and Joe Rogan are beefing....
ESPN Apologizes To SEC Commissioner For James Carville Spouting Alabama Conspiracy Theories
ESPN issued an on-air apology to SEC commissioner Greg Sankey for comments that political analyst James Carville made during his appearance on College Gameday about the conference being inherently biased towards No. 1 Alabama....
Kyrie Irving Is Sorry For Ironically(?) Perpetuating The Flat Earth Theory
Boston Celtics guard Kyrie Irving has something of a confession: He was not totally serious about being a big-time flat Earth guy, even though he spent a lot of time playing the part of a fake-deep intellectual. At a panel today, Kyrie blamed an algorithm-fueled YouTube binge for his incorrect belie...
European Tour Sent Tommy Fleetwood's $150K To The Wrong Tommy Fleetwood
Last month, English golfer Tommy Fleetwood finished in 12th place at the Open Championship. This month, Florida golfer Tommy Fleetwood received the $154,480 owed to English golfer Tommy Fleetwood by the European Tour for his 12th-place finish, and his friend tweeted the proof. There it is, right abo...
This Is How It Feels To Get Whacked By A Tiger Woods Golf Ball
Tiger Woods’ hopes of winning British Open championship came to end at the same time as one fan’s hopes of leaving Carnoustie without any bruises. With Tiger in sole position of the lead on the 11th hole, his second shot took a wrong turn somewhere in the sky and smacked a gallery member to the gr...