theo Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is The London Olympic Logo A Zionist Conspiracy, Or Is It Just Lisa Simpson Giving Bart A Blowjob?
There are two dominant conspiracies behind the London Olympics logo, which, if you ask Iranians and Simpsons enthusiasts, is trying suspiciously hard to be just ugly blocky numbers spelling out the year "2012." The Lisa Simpson and "Zion" theories, as well as a swastika interpretation, emerged whe...
Are The Russians Training 17-Day-Old Babies To Be Gymnasts?
Last month, a video emerged of a woman swinging a baby around her head. Mommy blogs around the world erupted in disgust and disbelief, and the general consensus was that it had to be a hoax. Well, it's not....
No, A Coach Donating His Kidney To A Player Isn't An NCAA Violation; Yes, They Had To Make Sure First
Wake Forest baseball coach Tom Walter donating one of his own kidneys to freshman player Kevin Jordan is one of the best stories we've heard in a long time. So we're not sure if it speaks more to our cynicism or the labyrinthine bylaws of the NCAA that we honestly wondered: does this violate anythin...
Some Pussy In Oregon Picked The Packers To Win The Super Bowl
But the fact remains this: the last round of cats to battle for the right to play prognosticator probably ended up in a bag at the bottom of the Green River thanks to the degenerate gambler who believed the Oregon over Auburn pick....
Theo Walcott Admits He Took A Dive
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Theo Walcott Is A Published Author Of Children’s Literature
Inspired by the heroes in his favourite bedtime stories, Arsenal striker Theo Walcott, aged 9¾, has written a series of kids’ books whose lead character is loosely based on the forward himself....
Paul The Octopus Couldn't Predict His Own Death
Paul passed away peacefully in his sleep this morning, after a distinguished career as a World Cup prognosticator. He was 2. He is surived by his closest relative, Squiddly Diddly. In lieu of flowers, please send tartar sauce. [CNN]...
Jon Gruden Once Again Drawing Abstract Penises On Nation's Television Screens
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Crazy Lady Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Predictably Crazy Theory About Our Brett Favre Story
Barry mentioned this earlier, but here's video of Elisabeth Hasselbeck putting on her tin-foil hat and saying it's fishy that the Brett Favre story broke the week Favre was playing the Jets. It's the dumbest conspiracy theory Favre's junk has caused....
Cavs Beat Writer Is Taking His Talents To South Beach, ESPN
Suddenly it is clear to me. Brian Windhorst has changed. A new website. Starting Twitter. This announcement. This isn't the guy I know....
Alessandro Del Piero Ups The Stakes On Thomas Müller With A Nice One
Two great goals posted on the same day—how about that! Following Müller's outside of the boot corker, above is old man Del Piero proving that age hast not withered thine legs*....
Are You Ready For Some Old-School Re-Imagined Video-Game Football?
And now, Apple II "Oregon Trail" reimagined with Plaxico, Stallworth, Goodell, etc. No wonder buffalo are pretty much gone....
Bat-Wielding Vigilante Takes On Boston Troublemakers (Video Back Up)
A group of punks are terrorizing passing motorists, until they mess with the wrong guy. He steps out of his car...metal bat in hand. This shit is bananas. (NSFW language)...
Did Glen Davis Spurn LeBron Over His Dance Moves?
One highlight of ESPN's spiked LeBron story was the surreal moment of Celtics forward Glen Davis chancing upon the festivities and dismissing the scene. We thought it was because he didn't approve, but his dancing skills may be the true reason....
Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...
Ahmadinejad Says Paul The Octopus Spreading "Western Propaganda And Superstition"
Iran's president accused Paul of representing all that's wrong with western society, in multiple speeches over the weekend. No, I think that was Dutch soccer. [Daily Telegraph via Unprofessional Foul]...
Paul The Psychic Octopus Caught Up In Transfer Battle
With the World Cup over, the fate of Paul the Octopus has been on everyone's mind. The Spoiler's Richard Gilzene has the latest....
"Nazi Octopus" Executed For Paul's Prophecy
Death threats didn't faze Paul, perhaps because of his large security detail. But that didn't stop an Argentine TV presenter from taking out the country's rage on an unrelated octopus, beheading and blending it....
Conspiracy Theorist Claims Competitive Eater Did Not Swallow Hot Dogs Properly And Should Be Banned
This is one of the strangest, most insanely detailed tips on a story we've ever received. It's from a fanwho says that competitive eater Crazy Legs Conti, one of the more popular food-inhalers on the circuit, cheated....
Spirit Airlines Graduates From Hornball Puns About Oral Sex To Hornball Puns About Catastrophic Oil Spills
The crappy budget carrier, known for its studiedly edgy marketing tailored to the Cocks-hats-and-Rohypnol crowd, is now cracking wise about the BP oil spill: "Check Out The Oil On Our Beaches." Seriously? Who besides Joe Hazelwood is this supposed to appeal to? [Sparty & Friends]...