theo Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Theo Epstein Reportedly On The Verge Of Leaving Boston To Rescue The Cubs
"Two baseball sources have confirmed that Theo Epstein is on the cusp of leaving his job as general manager of the Red Sox to accept a position with the Chicago Cubs that is believed to include powers greater than he has in Boston, with an announcement expected to be made 'within the next 24 to 48 h...

Grading NBA Players On Their "LET US PLAY" Twitter Pleas
Today is last day the NBA lockout can end without missing games. Too bad. The lockout isn't ending, despite the social media screeching of various union members. The NBPA thankfully has retweeted much of that screeching solidarity. Here's how we classify it....

This Evening: Could Theo Epstein Be Jamming With The Cubs Next Season?
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 4, the day we saw the worst ad campaign ever. The report on Epstein being granted permission to speak with the Cubs is here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Theo Epstein Says The Red Sox's Nosedive Is "A Tremendous Opportunity"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Boston's GM is not freaking the fahhk out....

Jamie Moyer Will Begin Rehab And Hopes To Pitch In 2012, Despite That Whole Turning 49 Years Old Thing
The Phillies have steamrolled the National League this year, and it seems like they've been doing that a lot lately. But they've done it without their soft-tossing lefty on-field mascot, Jamie Moyer, whose slow, painful, surprising march to 300 wins was undone last year by his ulnar collateral ligam...

Kerry Collins Will Never Bow To The Sands Of Time
Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay on Twitter: "We have agreed to terms with Kerry Collins...more details to come." The details being: Indy is hopelessly fucked should soon-to-be-39-year-old Kerry Collins have to play a snap in that offense....

Youth-Baseball Umpire In Missouri Claims Pitcher, Catcher Conspired To Hit Him With A Pitch
In the fifth-inning of a big 18-and-under Mac-N-Seitz Midwest Championships and Showcase baseball game, home plate umpire Kyle Reynolds detected shenanigans were afoot. They were the sort of shenanigans in which a catcher allegedly jumps out of the way of a pitch so it strikes the umpire behind hi...

Ohio State Can't Find Their Hitler Tree
Don't you hate it when you misplace your Nazi Olympic souvenir? [NPR]...

Great-Grandmother Banned For Invading Leeds' Soccer Field Just Wanted To Tell Lads She Loved 'Em
Margaret Musgrove, a 63-year-old great-grandmother from West Yorkshire, has been banned from the Leeds United stadium after running onto the field at Elland Road in May. She is much cooler and possibly drunker than your great-grandmother:...

Dwight Howard Stole Rihanna's Hair For This Surreal Spanish Talk Show Appearance
Dwight Howard went on the Spanish talk show El Hormiguero this week, for some unknown reason. For other unknown reasons — Dalí, quizás? — he arrived in a red wig and attempted to put on a tiny T-shirt. We'd rather not know the details here. There's much more of this to sit through, if you care to,...

Jack McKeon Has Had A Very Jack McKeon Couple Of Days
And it was a thing of beauty to watch, for fans who view coaches as interesting or influential as any athlete. Even if they're 80 years old and are baseball's Winston Wolf, just waiting for the call to clean up someone else's mess....

Old Man Jack McKeon Pulls Reliever In The Middle Of An At-Bat
Randy Choate started the eighth for Florida tonight: He walked Bobby Abreu on six pitches, then went to 2-1 on Alberto Callaspo. That's it, new 80-year-old sheriff in town Jack McKeon decided, and he pulled Choate for Burke Badenhop....

Old Man McKeon Has Already Benched Hanley Ramirez For Showing Up Late
Because the specials at the Bob Evans in Hialeah end at 4:30, and, well, you know. [Palm Beach Post]...

These Ladies Waited 185 Years To See The Mets Lose
Setting aside the fact that one's in a wheelchair and the team has been around for less than half of the other's life, that's still pretty good willpower. But Rebecca Lazofsky, 102, and daughter Miriam, 85, finally took in their first Mets game yesterday. One hopes they stuck around until the 9th so...

Roberto Luongo And The Last Stand Of the Superstar Goalie
Playoff hockey belongs to goalies. But recently it's belonged to goalies you've barely heard of beforehand—think of Jean-Sebastien Giguere, Miikka Kiprusoff, Cam Ward, Ilya Bryzgalov, Nikolai Khabibulin, Michael Leighton, Ray Emery, Antti Niemi—many of whom you barely hear of afterward, too. Every g...

104-Year-Old Woman Celebrates Birthday At Tigers Game, Wastes Her Life
Her birthday was actually last month, but that game was naturally rained out. So yesterday Mary Johnson braved the 50-degree temperatures to take in her first Tigers game since 1936. The Tigers lost, of course....

Joe Paterno Uses Skype, Wonders Why He Can't Get A Dial Tone
Obvious joke: I had no idea you could Skype on the Jitterbug. Actually, you know what, this whole post and comments section is going to be obvious jokes about old people using technology. So let's just say this is probably some sort of recruiting violation, and Paterno thought he was talking to his ...

John Wall Also Knew The Cavs Were Going To Win The Lottery. HMM.
TrueHoop's Henry Abbott asks that we take a second look at this throwaway line from Harvey Araton's piece on Kyrie Irving in the New York Times today: "Tuesday night, John Wall — last year's first pick by Washington — whispered 'Cleveland' in [Irving's] ear before the cameras turned on." Hmm. HMM. [...

Anonymous Baltimore Orioles Employee Goes To Great Lengths To Inform Us That Coworkers' Wives Also Hate Obama
We received this envelope today, just two days after posting this critique of ESPN's profile on Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott. Immediate thought: a terrible press release, for some reason sent via paper, or some kind of cease-and-desist letter for misrepresenting Cal Ripken's children's bo...

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....