this Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Scottish Soccer Team Launches Investigation To Find Horny Twitter User
Fans often go to the Twitter accounts of soccer teams to watch video of someone scoring. That’s nothing surprising. But when followers of Scottish Premiership club Inverness Caledonian Thistle looked at the team Twitter account’s list of favorited tweets, they saw an entirely different sort of scori...
This New Batch Of <i>Kevin Can Wait </i>Fan Theories Is Truly Unbelievable
After a lengthy layoff, the nation’s favorite TV show is coming back, and with it, the return of intense fan scrutiny, wild theorizing, and mass pandemonium....
New York City's Parking Rules Have Turned Me Into A Sociopath
“I’ve never seen you happier,” my wife told me one day last week. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. As I started to do a little dance around our living room, she looked at me with bewilderment. The reason for my burst of happiness? I had parked our car and wouldn’t have to move it for more tha...
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is Fighting Conor McGregor. What The Fucking Fuck?
It’s really happening....
Look At The No. 3 Overall MLB Draft Pick's Ridiculous Foot
The San Diego Padres had the third pick in this evening’s MLB Draft. They chose MacKenzie Gore, who is a pitcher from North Carolina born in 1999. Gore’s first and last names are both cool, but that’s not why we’re here in this blog post. No, the important thing to note here is his foot. Look at tha...
Rondae Hollis-Jefferson Found $5 In The Ocean
This is the most compelling Brooklyn Nets news of the year....
Deadspin Signs Historic Deal To Promote Floyd Mayweather Vs. Conor McGregor Bout
Deadspin says it has signed a record-setting deal to promote a fight between boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather and UFC lightweight champion Conor McGregor....
Lance Armstrong Denies That Lance Armstrong Is Dead
Is Lance Armstrong dead? According to fox-news24.com, he is. According to Lance Armstrong, he is not....
Marcus Morris Denies That He Is Impersonating His Twin Brother On The Wizards<em></em>
Is Wizards forward Markieff Morris only playing through an ankle injury because his brother Marcus is impersonating him? Let’s see what Marcus thinks....
What Does Quin Snyder Look Like?
There isn’t much to say about the Utah Jazz, who have an incredibly tough task against the Warriors in their second-round series, but this is as good an opportunity as any to point out that head coach Quin Snyder looks like the villain from a 1990s comedy starring a former SNL cast member....
Mike Pence Is A Fucking Joke<em></em>
Say hello to our Elderly Lego Man Vice President, wearing his varsity Vice Presidenting jacket and standing, with an intensity reserved almost exclusively for constipation sufferers, near the Demilitarized Zone separating North and South Korea. Supposedly, Pence wasn’t meant to go outside during his...
Patriots Fan's Heat Check Goes Wrong
Sound the Twitter drama foghorn, because you’re about to read about something incredibly stupid and meaningless....
Look At This Fucking Asshole<em></em>
Behold idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner—the man now in charge of brokering Middle East peace, Uberizing the federal government, reforming the entire criminal justice system, and keeping Donald Trump’s hands off his wife. This perfect still frame from a David O. Russell film has also been put in charge...
James Dolan Called Me An Asshole, Knicks Fan Says; "He Is An Asshole," Dolan Says<em></em><em></em>
Mike Hamersky, a self-described New York Knicks superfan and season ticket holder from Astoria, claims that team owner James Dolan got in his face last night outside Madison Square Garden and screamed mean things....
Dwight Howard Used To Consume A Truly Shocking Amount Of Candy
There are plenty of amusing details in Baxter Holmes’s ESPN piece about the NBA’s love of PB&Js, but one anecdote about Dwight Howard’s health in 2013 overhauled my understanding of what the human body can do....
John Elway Writes Letter Endorsing Supreme Court Nominee, For Some Reason
There are a great many topics on which one might seek the wisdom of former Hall-of-Fame quarterback and current Broncos GM John Elway. For instance: how to throw a football real far, or how to avoid paying a shit-ton of money to a bad QB just because he can throw a football real far....
Here Is A Harrowingly In-Depth Analysis Of The New <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Poster
Game Of Thrones, HBO’s hit show about cartography and snowstorms, will be back soonish (probably in July). The release date hasn’t been announced yet, but the first bit of show-related ephemera dropped today, via EW. It’s a poster. There’s a lot of ice....
Please No One Tell Joe Scarborough That No One Would Care About His Band If He Weren't On TV
It would absolutely break his heart if you told Morning Joe’s Joe Scarborough that no one would go see his bad band perform if it weren’t for the fact that his real job is hosting a television show, so please, no one tell him....
Choking-Ass Glory Boy Rabbit Blows Huge Lead To Tortoise
Numerous genetic surveys have been done on the rabbit, but until this point in history, the potential existence of a clutch gene has been a scientific mystery. Are rabbits reliable performers in the clutch or are they wilting-ass chokers? Finally, we know for sure: Bunnies are weak as hell under pre...