this Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wait, Floyd Mayweather Made <i>How Much </i>Money Last Year?
So a thing that’s been in the news recently is the ongoing exchange of sick burns between boxer “Fuckboy” Floyd Mayweather and mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey. This beef is verbal, with tension sparked and stoked by thickheaded, numbnutted clownmen who think that pitting an athlete of one sport ag...
Knock It Off With These Stupid-Ass Headphones
These idiotic around-the-neck headphones have been everywhere lately, and I have no idea what and why they are. What in the hell, man? ...
Red Sox Score 22 Runs For Ben Affleck
The Boston Red Sox have had a shit year, until very recently. In the approximately 24 hours since manager John Farrell announced he had been diagnosed with lymphoma, the team has scored, by my math, one million runs....
Baseball Squirrel Just Thinks It Can Go Wherever It Wants
A dumb squirrel jumped onto the field in the eighth inning of today’s Royals-Tigers game, and acted like it owned the damn place. The stupid thing ran around as if people were there to watch it. Hey, here’s a newsflash: they weren’t....
Dem's Fightin' Words
Thanks to Peteski for hipping me to these dope pictures of base brawls by the most talented Harrison Freeman over at Juxtapoz Magazine. ...
Let <i>True Detective</i>'s Total Absurdity Wash All Over You
Apologies if these thoughts on last night’s penultimate episode of True Detective come off as disjointed and confusing, though that would be a fitting homage to this entire season, but man, this show is a marvelous disaster. That lousy first episode was a sign of things to come....
Crawl-A-Thon Thrown Into Chaos After 10-Month-Old Berkley Disqualified
The biggest controversy in sports this summer, maybe even this year, occurred last week at the prestigious Pan-O-Prog baby Crawl-A-Thon in Lakeville, Minn. ...
Did ESPN President John Skipper Play Dewey On <i>Malcolm In The Middle</i>?
Watch this video and be the judge....
Let's Remember Some Guys
We were looking at a list of MLB players who have hit for the cycle, and noticed that Jody Gerut is on that list. Maybe you’ve forgotten about Jody Gerut :( But now you remember him. Let’s remember some other guys:...
Prayers Up For The Pirates' Tarp Man
As the Pirates’ grounds crew struggled to spread the tarp on the field in inclement weather Tuesday night, one man was nearly consumed by the polyethylene menace before Andrew McCutchen and Sean Rodriguez came to help. Before today’s game, someone created a respectful memorial for Tarp Man....
It Takes A Village To Secure An Infield Rain Tarp
The grounds crew at New Three Rivers Stadium was handed a nearly impossible mission Tuesday night, tasked with unfurling the rain tarp in the face of pounding rain and gusting wind. As you can see, one unfortunate soul almost paid the ultimate price, as the tarp demon did its best to take him to bas...
Lakers Delete Embarrassing Recruiting Tweets After Other Teams Complain
As part of the effort to lure free agent LaMarcus Aldridge, the Lakers engaged in a frankly embarrassing 12:01 a.m. Twitter recruiting campaign. It doesn’t seem to have worked. Almost a day later, at least four of those tweets have been deleted. ...
Should You Fuck Tiger Woods?
There’s a report floating around that Lindsey Vonn broke up with Tiger Woods after she found out he was cheating on her with Amanda Boyd, Jason Dufner’s ex-wife. Regardless of the story’s veracity, it does lead to a basic question: Should people still fuck Tiger Woods?...
HURR Come Here Children I'm The Sun
Scottish soccer club Partick Thistle released its new uniforms today, but the only reason to mention that bit of news is to justify posting more photos of Kingsley, the dorky sun mascot....
Cats: They're Bad
You walk into a cat house and you know it right away: A crazy person lives here. No amount of vacuuming, air-freshening, laundering, or outright bleaching will banish the insidious juniper reek of feline; a cat house smells like a cat house, and for this we can be grateful, because it lets us know n...
HURR I'm The Sun
Scottish soccer team Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot this morning. It’s that. Why....
Raising Your Kids To Be Cleveland Sports Fans Is An Act Of Cruelty
Last night, I knew how it was going to end before Game 6 even began. I’m from northeast Ohio....
We Made More Rap-Themed Sprite Cans
So Sprite, in conjunction with The Fader, is putting rap lyrics on its cans this summer, to honor a cultural synergy that stretches all the way from Kurtis Blow to A Tribe Called Quest to Drake. Which is a lovely tribute, sure, but the initial roster—Aubrey, Nas, Rakim, and a one-off from the Notori...