this Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bill Simmons Said Something About "Biggest Boners" On <em>PTI</em> Today, So Here's Four Minutes Of Him Saying It
It's Friday, and we can't think of any better way to spark the weekend than pouring a stiff drink, relaxing into a thick, comfortable chair, and engorging your ears by playing this recording of Bill Simmons repeatedly saying the word "boners." It's the perfect way to relax after a long, hard week....
Exclusive: Tyler Palko Is Not Working At A Shoe Store In South Dakota
NESN.com published a report on Thursday that said Tyler Palko, the former Kansas City Chiefs quarterback, was now working at a shoe store in Aberdeen, S.D. The source of this extraordinary news was Wikipedia, and NESN.com helpfully added this:...
Undercover Cops Fucking Love Wearing Old NFL Jerseys
We've received two dispatches from reader Al G. concerning the undercover police presence at Electric Zoo. Electric Zoo, by the way is a festival for music made by computers or something....
This Movie About Whales Raising A Future Olympic Swimmer Needs To Get Made Immediately
Great movie idea or greatest movie idea? The Hollywood Reporter has the exclusive details:...
Here's Yao Ming Standing Next To A Full-Grown Elephant
Just kidding, it's a baby elephant....
What's The Deal With All These White Computers?
As my local Starbucks continues to flow with disgusting burnt coffee, the computer world is full of greedy racists. Not much going on this weekend, so, I was just sitting in my local Starbucks looking around when it struck me: what is the deal with all these white computers? And why do I have to pay...
Local Virgins Say Tim Tebow May Be Able To Remain A Virgin In New York, Reports <em>NYT</em>
The sports section of today's New York Times busied itself with yet another important journalism project on the topic of Tim Tebow's virginity. Tebow himself, however, was "unavailable for comment," so Times writer Bob Tedeschi did the next most logical thing: He tracked down a handful of young NYC...
Specially Contoured Jeans Designed To Combat Scourge Of "Hockey Ass"
So, here's a real product you can buy that I never thought warranted existence. The hockey apparel-minded folks at Gongshow announced this one back in January, but it has just released its new Hustle & Flow jeans, an otherwise ordinary-looking pair of pants that serve a very specific purpose. We'll ...
Everything You Never Needed To Know About Rhythmic Gymnastics
We love gymnastics. It gets the highest ratings of any summer event. Every four years we fall in love with a new "America's Sweetheart." They get the Wheaties box. The team goes down in history....
No Really, Look At This Fucking Hoopster
Tipster Ryan sent us this image of a hoopster at Lollapalooza, and this man is now the official king of all hoopsters. Irony will never be the same after this....
Everything You Never Needed To Know About Modern Pentathlon
Here's a great way to make some extra cash:...
Look At This Fucking Heapster
Reader Landon sends this in from a free Grimes concert in New York City last night. Look at this fucking Heapster, indeed....
Women's Gymnastics Team Teaches Jenna Bush How To Dougie Like A Gold Medalist
I guess when you're the Team USA women's gymnastics squad and you've just completed an incredible run through the team and individual competitions, you're allowed some free time to just hang around London, chill out on the roof of a double-decker bus, and teach one of George W. Bush's daughters ho...
The Hottest Corporate Officers At Turner, New Owners Of Bleacher Report: A Slideshow
It finally happened! Today brings official word that Bleacher Report has been purchased by Turner Broadcasting for a cool $175 million. We feel like this calls for another celebratory slideshow. Allow us to present to you Turner Broadcasting's hottest corporate officers....
Everything You Never Needed To Know About Racewalking
Remember watching When Harry Met Sally, and thinking to yourself "What the hell are they doing?" as you watched Billy Crystal in spandex walking fast and funny through Central Park with Bruno Kirby? That was racewalking, son....
"Men Throwing Rocks With The Other Hand" Is Just Super
This video: sort of old. But we saw it on Kottke, and couldn't resist sharing it. What happens when you get a bunch of guys to chuck rocks with their weak arms? Hypnotic. Cathartic. Non-dominant....
Everything You Never Needed To Know About Trampoline
Trampolining is not just for cute foxes in viral videos—it's a crazypants real sport that made its Olympic debut in 2000. As Canadian Karen Cockburn, the bronze medalist at those games, said after winning her medal, "A lot of people don't really know what trampoline is, they think it's a toy you jum...
Here Is A Perfectly Ordinary Graphic From Fox Sports Ohio
It was sent to us by a reader named Steve, who insists it says more than what it was designed to say. I mean, it's just the logos of the four teams with the best records in baseball, in order, from left to right. No, really. Click the image to enlarge it so you can see those records for yourself. It...
Animal Care Worker Accidentally Killed Louisiana Tech's Bulldog Mascot, Then Tried To Cover It Up
Accidents happen, that's part of life, nothing you can do about it. Sometimes, you even forget to bring inside the beloved bulldog mascot of a major university and the bulldog in question dies of heatstroke. Should you ever find yourself in such a predicament, do not try to cover up the crime....
Will Foursquare Take Down Joe Paterno Statue Check-In?
As Rodney Erickson struggles with the most important decision ever in the history of Penn State, we're left to wonder when will foursquare tear down its Joe Paterno Statue check-in. As everyone knows, the foursquare page has become the symbol of this social media statuary controversy and emotions a...