this Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...
Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...
We Made Up With The Mean Dressage Guy
On Tuesday, I told you about my encounter with Ken Braddick, proprietor of Dressage-News.com and the guy who haughtily dismissed my request to use one of his photos. I called Ken an asshole, because, frankly, he was acting like an asshole. I had no problem with his refusing to allow us to use one of...
Here Is The Inevitable Photo Of Pedobear Posing Alongside The Joe Paterno Statue
The attached photo was snapped and sent into us by an anonymous tipster. Yes, that is a person in a Pedobear costume standing mockingly next to the Paterno statue. We present it to you without further comment, although we are rather impressed with the lighting....
Ann Romney's Horse Hangs Out With Assholes
So, part of my job as a Deadspin intern has involved writing some those fun Olympic field guides that you may have seen on the site recently. Today I started writing one about Ann Romney's dressage horse, Rafalca, who will be competing in the London Olympics. I wanted to get a nice photo of Rafalca...
Whoa, We're Halfway There: The Grierson & Leitch Top 12 Movies Of The First Half of 2012
Shockingly, we are more than halfway through 2012. (It's a backloaded year: Olympics, election, total global catastrophe—all stacked up from late July on.) As always, the best, most "prestigious" movies won't be released until November or December, because the people who vote on the Oscars are senil...
New Statistics Unveiled, Oddibe McDowell Likely a Hall Of Famer
The fine folks at baseball-reference have this to offer, just below "transactions" and "salaries" on Oddibe McDowell's player page. Don't get too excited though, as with any new stat, only time will tell if the information is complete and accurate, so be sure to read the fine print....
Your Kids Will Love Playing "Human Bowling Ball," The Most Insane Backyard Game Ever
It costs $4,500, it's easy to set up, and it lets you live out your American Gladiators-induced dreams of riding around inside a giant ball, wreaking havoc on your surroundings. It's called the Human Bowling Ball, and it's basically a giant, inflatable bowling game that lets you (the ball) knock dow...
Throwing A Baseball At 90 Percent Speed Of Light Would Kill Thousands
The artistically inclined folks over at XKCD (authors of one of my favorite web comics ever) devoted one of their What If? segments today to the logically insane yet weirdly interesting scenario of what would happen if someone pitched a baseball at 90 percent the speed of light. Using actual science...
What If Joe Paterno Was Innocent? Hypothetical Dialogues From A Dark Time At Penn State
Circumstantially, the Jerry Sandusky case keeps getting worse and worse for Joe Paterno. Circumstantially. This past weekend, CNN described an email that Penn State's now-former athletic director, Tim Curley, allegedly sent to other university officials in 2001, canceling plans to report Sandusky to...
Tony La Russa Explains Decision Not To Put Johnny Cueto On All-Star Team By Admitting To Violating MLB CBA
Uh oh, we got ourselves a scandal, or something. Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker and former St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa have never been especially fond of each other. Their relationship got even testier over the weekend when La Russa, who was in charge of making final selections f...
MLB Announces Starting Lineups For 83rd All-Star Game, Fans Everywhere Pissed
The MLB announced the starters for this year's midsummer exhibition-game-that-is-not-really-an-exhibition-game-because-home-field-advantage-is-inexplicably-awarded-to-the-league-that-wins-this-exhibition-game. That means it's time for everyone to gripe about how Player X should have been a starter ...
Meet The "This ... Is SportsCenter" Guy (Who Is A Little Terrifying)
There he is. That's Chris Kelley. Now you can put a face to the voice behind "This ... is SportsCenter."...
Congratulations To Bleacher Report On Its $200 Million Acquisition: Slideshow
In honor of Turner's nearly finalized $200 million purchase of Bleacher Report, here's a congratulatory slideshow, featuring a bunch of pictures of burning money. Please click through....
![Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17py99ljkjesnjpg.jpg)
Fernando Tatís Had A Nice Chat With Homer Simpson On Twitter [CORRECTION]
To hear Fernando Tatís tell it, he learned to speak English from The Simpsons while he was working his way up through the minor leagues. He eventually made it out of the the minors and played 11 season in Major League Baseball for the Rangers, Cardinals, Nationals Expos, Orioles and finally the Met...
There's A Naughtily Named Pitching Matchup In The National League Today
Check it out: Petco Park this afternoon will host a hilarious sadomasochistic pitching showdown between Marquis and Cain! Thwack! You've been very naughty! Double entendres in baseball can't get much saucier than that....
The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
Today, we are reminded, marks the 15th anniversary of Marv Albert telling a Virginia Circuit Court that he would be pleading innocent to sexually assaulting—biting—his side piece. We thought this, originally published June 27, 2011, would be a nice jaunt down memory lane....
Where In The World Was Chuck Knoblauch This Weekend?
When a story involving a visibly intoxicated Chuck Knoblauch hitting on women on a late-night Brooklyn subway ride surfaced yesterday, we were surprised and not surprised. Surprised because Knoblauch is about the most random former major leaguer imaginable—a good-to-very-good infielder who won four ...
LeBron James Cattily Responds To Lance Stephenson's Choke Gesture
Here's an example of that silly 24-hour news cycle we were chatting about earlier. Lance Stephenson made a choking gesture the other night as LeBron missed some free throws and now it's a federal case. Stephenson actually felt the need to apologize for the performance and has vowed to keep all futu...