ti Page 1016 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Miguel Cabrera Done For The Season With Ruptured Biceps Tendon
Miguel Cabrera left Tuesday’s loss to the Twins in the bottom of the third inning with what was initially described by the Tigers as a left biceps tendon strain. Cabrera took a looping cut on a Jake Odorizzi off-speed pitch and immediately winced and grabbed his bicep before walking into the dugout ...

Bryce Harper Roughed Up And Bad-Mouthed In Comprehensively Rotten 24 Hours
C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!...

The Christian Hackenberg Era In Oakland Is Over After Three Weeks
Three weeks ago, the New York Jets traded former second-round pick Christian Hackenberg to the Raiders after keeping his ass firmly planted on the bench for two entire seasons. Unfortunately, he will not take the field for the Raiders either, as ESPN’s Field Yates reported this afternoon that Oaklan...

Students Are Calling Out Texas A&M For How It Handles Reports Of Sexual Assault
Last week, a Texas A&M student tweeted that she had reported to the university that a member of the swimming and diving team had raped her—and that the swimmer was back with the team. These are what she posted, first on June 7....

Bitchin' Politician Just Blasts Himself Right In The Eyeballs With Pepper Spray!
Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper s...

Florida Returns To College World Series Thanks To Auburn Outfielder
Austin Langworthy will be credited with the 11th-inning walk-off homer, but it came with an assist from Auburn outfielder Steven Williams:...

Boss As Hell Baserunner Steals Home In Tie Game With Trip To College World Series On The Line
The Auburn and Florida baseball teams are meeting in a Super Regional contest tonight, the winner of which will head to the College World Series. Nice high stakes, there, which makes what happened with two away in the bottom of the fourth inning all the more bitchin’:...

Finally, There's Video Of The Mizzou Arena Joyride
Nearly a year later, footage of one man’s bold, very illegal joyride through Missouri’s basketball stadium has been made public. It does not disappoint....

Listen, It's The Offseason Now So We're Going To Talk About This Dumb Basketball Idea
A galaxy-brained NBA Reddit user posed a reasonable question this morning: Why can’t four Golden State Warriors link arms in a circle around Steph Curry, so that no defenders can get near him to contest his shot?...

Otherwise Cursed A's Fan Blessed With Two Straight Foul Balls
Lifelong Oakland Athletics fans younger than 28 years old have never seen their team make a World Series appearance. Various A’s teams have been spunky and overachieving and paradigm-altering in their strategic cheapness, but lately they have just been bad. But it makes sense that the team whose app...

Did Justify Have Another Horse Blocking For Him In His Belmont Stakes Win?
On Saturday, Justify became the 13th horse in history to win the Triple Crown (and the second in the last four years, which explains the general lack of excitement—these Belmont Stakes drew the lowest ratings for a Triple Crown bid since NBC began broadcasting the race in 2001). Justify is obviously...

Would Dropping Switch-Hitting Help Salvage Billy Hamilton's Horrendous Season?
Billy Hamilton has long been one of the most fun players in baseball. He runs like the wind, a trait that makes him a highlight factory both on the bases and in the outfield. He turns an otherwise harmless dribbler to third into a moment of genuine excitement, and his presence on base strikes terror...

Justify Wins Belmont, Ruins Mystique Of Triple Crown For A Generation
Justify clocked a 2:28 in the mile-and-a-half of the Belmont Stakes today, earning the first Triple Crown since, uh, three years ago, and driving a stake through the heart of mystery that surrounded the feat for millions....

A Good Idea For Getting LeBron James Onto The Celtics
The Boston Celtics showed up, somewhat unexpectedly, on a list Stephen A. Smith made of teams “in the mix” to land LeBron James in free agency this summer (Smith is a dingus, but he was ahead of everyone on LeBron going to Miami in 2010, so his list can’t be summarily dismissed). The Celtics weren’t...

Cool Dads Stephen Colbert And Patrick Wilson Deliver Surprisingly Earnest National Anthem Performance
You will be forgiven if you look at the seemingly random pairing of Stephen Colbert and Patrick Wilson lining up to perform the national anthem at a Mets game and think “whuh?” Because, like, whuh? A comedian talk show host and the Insidious guy? Turns out, these nerds can fuckin’ sing!...

Kyrie Irving: "I’m Not Against Anyone That Thinks The Earth Is Round"<em></em>
“I mean, history has shown even back then, our biggest scholars did think the Earth was flat.”...

Argentina Will Need A Superhero To Win The World Cup, But Luckily They Have One<em></em>
People really don’t realize how much of a miracle it would be if Argentina won the World Cup....

Let's Remember Some Guys: More 1981 Fleer Mustache Aficionados
If you’re not remembering, are you forgetting? It’s a question that has vexed and divided the Guy Remembering community for centuries. Our work, in Remembering, is fundamentally about sustaining—about keeping alive the memory of Steve Jeltz’s very wet hair, or a terribly rude song that someone sang ...

If They Can Put It Together, Croatia Are The Perfect Bandwagon Team For You
If you’re a jilted American fan in need of a World Cup team to root for but you’re put off by the prospect of frontrunning and cheering for a titan like Germany or Brazil, I humbly suggest jumping on the Croatia bandwagon....

Anthony Bourdain Was Who I Wish I Was
As I’d imagine many or, who knows, maybe even most of those who admired him did, I once had the strange experience of realizing that Anthony Bourdain seemed to know a place I lived better than I did. In 2009, his No Reservations program went to Chicago, and if he didn’t get the entire city, which of...