ti Page 1019 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Christian Yelich's Agent Says Relationship With Marlins Is "Irretrievably Broken"
Christian Yelich is just about the last good Miami Marlins player standing, so naturally, he’d also like to escape the Derek Jeter regime’s austerity plan before the start of the season. Yelich’s agent Joe Longo spoke with ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick and made it abundantly clear that Yelich wants out imme...
Donald Trump Is 6-Foot-3, 239 Pounds, So Basically He's Albert Pujols<em></em>
Our ovoid president took his first physical exam this morning, and you will not be surprised to learn that the natural athlete is in “excellent health.” Though his arteries may be as grease-occluded as any gout-afflicted Tudor monarch, and while he sleeps just four or five hours a night, the preside...
Women Describe Larry Nassar's Decades Of Sexual Abuse At First Day Of His Sentencing
More than two dozen women who said they were sexually abused by Larry Nassar, dating back to the early 1990s, gave victim-impact statements today in a Ingham County, Mich., courtroom. The statements were read ahead of Nassar’s sentence on 10 counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct. Together, ...
Aly Raisman Says USA Gymnastics Should Stop Sending Athletes To Karolyi Ranch
The Karyolyi ranch in Huntsville, Texas, has been USA Gymnastics’ training center for the sport’s most elite talent since 2001. Owned and operated by coaching legends Marta and Bela Karolyi, a list of gymnasts that now includes Simone Biles and Aly Raisman say it was the perfect environment for form...
They Can Destroy You, Too
“[Steve] Bannon’s political fall reveals a major weakness in his brand of right-wing populism: the overwhelming power wealthy donors have over the right-wing media and the Republican Party.” That’s according to the New Republic’s Jeet Heer, in a blog from last Thursday about the former White House c...
The Rockets Hilariously Tried To Storm The Clippers' Locker Room
Beef! We’ve got beef! Major NBA beef. Sound the beef siren!...
Simone Biles Reveals She Too Was Sexually Abused By Larry Nassar
Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles said today on Twitter that she was sexually abused by former USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar....
Jaguars Junction: Week Eleventy
Jacksonville is the largest city in America by the “measure that counts,” according to geographers—total land area, rather than population. In this way Jacksonville is America’s number one city. ...
Kolten Wong Had An Especially Frightening Time During Saturday's Missile Scare
Saturday’s brief missile scare is destined to become an obscure bit of trivia, especially after our idiot president inevitably fires a nuclear missile at, like, Luxembourg, over construction delays in the building of another gaudy Trump property. It already seems surreal and dreamlike that just yest...
Please Enjoy This Tecmo Super Bowl Simulation Of Tonight's Titans-Patriots Game
Your halftime entertainment is a CPU vs CPU simulation of tonight’s Titans-Patriots game in Tecmo Super Bowl, and it’s LIVE: ...
![Hawaiians Watching Morning Sports Treated To Terrifying "THIS IS NOT A DRILL" Missile Threat Alert [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Hawaiians Watching Morning Sports Treated To Terrifying "THIS IS NOT A DRILL" Missile Threat Alert [UPDATES]
A false alarm missile threat emergency message went across the Hawaiian islands today, blowing up phones and triggering the Emergency Alert System, something most of us have only ever experienced in our lives as “this is only a test.” Hawaiians who got up early to watch soccer or basketball instead ...
Former Deadspin Boss Tim Marchman Makes Queso Fundido
The Gizmodo Media Special Projects Desk will be relying on new editor Tim Marchman to develop their promising young writers this year. Whether he can do anything like he did during his 2015-2018 stint as editor-in-chief of Deadspin, when he helped turn bloggers Kyle “Bad Wags” Wagner and Kevin “Piec...
Kyrie Irving's And J.J. Redick's Brains Are In The Fifth Dimension In The Palace Of Truth
Kyrie Irving went on J.J. Redick’s Ringer podcast today, and the two former Dookies spent a good 10 minutes Expanding Their Minds and swapping Deep Thoughts. Irving addressed his Flat Earth trutherism, and says came to his own conclusions after doing his own research, which he says came from Instagr...
How Old Is Edwin Jackson?
Driving to every major league ballpark that Edwin Jackson has called home, one by one, in order, would require driving for more than 16,000 miles to reach 11 stadiums. (Toronto not included on this hypothetical road trip; he was on the Blue Jays’ roster for a few hours between trades at the 2011 dea...
Alabama Assistant Coach Had Playbook Stolen Before National Championship
Alabama defensive line coach Karl Dunbar’s backpack—which held his playbook and laptop—was stolen from the team’s Atlanta hotel before this week’s national championship game against Georgia....
Ultrarunner Loses Titles After Investigation Shows He Won Them By Hiding In A Port-A-Potty<em></em>
Kelly Agnew is an accomplished ultrarunner who began taking on marathons and ultramarathons in 2011. Within a few years of starting, he completed the Leadville 100, the Rocky Raccoon 100-miler, and a few more prominent ultramarathons, before experiencing a breakthrough in 2013. Agnew finished second...
Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...
WWE Network Is Better Than Ever, But Does WWE Even Know Why?
A little under four years ago, WWE radically overhauled its business model with the launch of WWE Network, a subscription video streaming platform. The main selling point was that each and every pay-per-view event that the company produced—events which went for $54.95 in HD, and even more for Wrestl...