ti Page 1064 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
USMNT Win 2-0 Despite El Salvador's Biting And Nipple-Tweaking
The USMNT cruised to a 2-0 victory in tonight’s CONCACAF Gold Cup quarterfinal despite the fact that El Salvador repeatedly treated players like you might have treated your little brother....
On The Second Day, Carlos Beltrán's Glove Rose From The Dead
Two days ago, the Houston Astros gathered to lay Carlos Beltrán’s glove to rest. The erstwhile outfielder hadn’t played defense in more than two months, spending his days as a designated hitter instead, and the team put together a nice little ceremony with a priest (Brian McCann), a coffin (a shoebo...
The Africa Cup Of Nations Might Move To Summer, Thank God
The most consistent interruption to the soccer season might finally be changing to a more convenient date, as the Africa Cup of Nations is reportedly set to move from January and February to June and July....
TV Pranksters Sued By Station Owner, And They Need Your Help
Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher, maybe the only good pranksters in the world, are responsible for bringing you the joy of yo-yo master K-Strass, bad cook Chef Keith, and strongmen Chop and Steele. And now they’re being sued by the company that owns one of the local stations who put them on the air. The...
Orioles Score Six Runs Before Recording Their First Out
The Rangers’ gamble on Tyson Ross—who missed all of last year with shoulder inflammation and entered this year recovering from surgery for thoracic outlet syndrome—hasn’t paid off too well as of yet. It really, really, really didn’t pay off tonight....
White Sox Announcer Who Rejected Fried Pickle Also Rejects Frozen Turkey
The Chicago White Sox are playing the Los Angeles Dodgers, who are pitching Clayton Kershaw, tonight. Let’s talk about what happened Friday night, when Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti presented color man Steve Stone, who previously rejected a fried pickle, with a frozen turkey on his 70th birthda...
Failed Sports Radio Host Chris Christie Catches Foul Ball To Disgust Of Mets Fans
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie showed off his athletic side at tonight’s Cardinals-Mets game, reaching from his seat to make a left-handed catch of a foul ball off the bat of St. Louis shortstop Paul DeJong....
Tigers Officially Become Sellers, Send J.D. Martinez To Arizona
Pretty much every good player on the Tigers has been thrown out as a potential trade candidate this month, but Detroit made its first official move of the season Tuesday night, sending J.D. Martinez to the Arizona Diamondbacks in exchange for three prospects....
<i>Game Of Thrones</i> Works Best When It Stays Small<em></em>
To be honest, 60 minutes spent zooming through the army of the dead would’ve been enough for me....
Titleist Sues Seller Of Parody “Titties” Merchandise
I Made Bogey is an online golf apparel company that sells products with slogans you’d expect to see on the Wildwood boardwalk. There are a series of t-shirts inspired by Happy Gilmore. There are red “MAKE GOLF GREAT AGAIN” hats. But the bulk of the products on the site are parodies of golf brand Tit...
Go Ahead And Enjoy Christian Pulisic Tearing Shit Up In A Meaningless Game
I’m not going to tell you that Christian Pulisic’s performance in today’s Borussia Dortmund-AC Milan friendly—in which he conjured two assists, won a penalty, and eeled his way past famously big and bad Serie A defenders more times than you could count—means that the Wonderteen is primed to take the...
Cowboys Receiver's Missing Dog Returned By Rapper Boogotti Kasino
Yesterday, Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead alerted the world to the fact that his adorable dog, Blitz, had been stolen from his home and was being held for ransom. Blitz was safely returned last night, but not before falling into the hands of a local rapper named Boogotti Kasino, who vehementl...
Billy Beane Admits That Being An A's Fan Is Hell
Yesterday, the Oakland A’s traded relievers Sean Doolittle and Ryan Madson to the Washington Nationals in exchange for reliever Blake Treinen and two minor leaguers. It’s no great crime for an out-of-contention team to unload two aging but valuable relievers—Doolittle and Madson boast 2.35 and 2.43 ...
Showtime™ Presents: Misogyny, Racism, And Homophobia<em></em>
You don’t have to pick a side between Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor. Floyd’s an unapologetic abuser of women and the Internal Revenue Service, while Conor is a racist dipshit. Last week’s circus of publicity stunts rightfully damaged both parties’ reputations, but another one, curiously, h...
Mike Finds New Mike Named Trey
The Mikes of ESPN’s Mike & Mike will soon split apart and become simply Mike and Mike, and reports out of Mikeville have indicated that the Mikes don’t really like each other. Both Mikes insisted that they were cool despite the rumblings and the imminent end of Mike & Mike, and now ESPN has finally ...
It’s Not Always A Good Idea To Wait For Your Pitch
Kyle Tait is a sports broadcaster in Atlanta. So, naturally, he had a baseball-themed gender reveal party. (Shouldn’t it be a sex reveal party? Eh, whatever.) Problem is, Tait didn’t like the pitch his wife threw him....
![SB Nation Cowboys Blog Deletes Bad Post About Ezekiel Elliott [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/glooxvaxcpgy2modois6.jpg)
SB Nation Cowboys Blog Deletes Bad Post About Ezekiel Elliott [Update]
Yesterday morning, SB Nation’s Cowboys blog, Blogging The Boys, published an article about the NFL’s ongoing investigation into domestic violence allegations against Dallas running back Ezekiel Elliott. The post was a reaction to reports that the league may be getting ready to hand Elliott a one- or...
Nats Finally Swing Trade To Add Arms To Their League-Worst Bullpen
The Nationals, owners of the very worst bullpen ERA in all of baseball, made a move today to fortify their relief pitching, snagging a couple arms from Oakland’s not-actually-all-that-much-better bullpen:...
Come Look At All These Good Oakland Sports Dogs
The Oakland Athletics had a Bark at the Park event Friday afternoon. Here come the doggos! ...
Foolish Mets Will Postpone Destiny And Not Call Up Tim Tebow In 2017
Brawny baseball monk Tim Tebow will reportedly not join the Mets in 2017, according to general manager Sandy Alderson, howling skyward with raised, clenched fists:...