ti Page 1095 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wait, Let's Clown These Scrub-Ass Doofuses Some More
Seventeen days. That’s how much stamina flinty-eyed deal master Donald Trump, sober policy knower Paul Ryan, and all the Republican Party had for a health care overhaul they’d been promising for seven years, before the work of negotiating amongst themselves overwhelmed them and they retired to their...
Does This Look Like The Reincarnation Of Lou Gehrig To You?<em></em>
You’ve spoken to a toddler, or at least know enough about children to imagine what speaking to a toddler might be like. You understand that a 2-year-old child, because his brain is still developing and he is just starting to experiment with language, is liable to say some dumb things. A toddler migh...
Frances Tiafoe Gave Roger Federer A Scare, And America Some Hope
American tennis fans should take heart: their 19-year-old prodigy Frances Tiafoe caused the GOAT some woe, at least for a little while. Tiafoe, who is creeping closer to a breakout victory over a top player, took Roger Federer to a first-set tiebreak in their second-round match at the Miami Open bef...
Laundry Is The Worst Thing In The World
Years ago, a friend told me that sweeping is the worst possible chore. My God, she was wrong. I took a screencap of her being wrong and would show it to other people, and they would gaze at it and say, “My word, look at that person being wrong.” That’s how wrong it was. Everyone agrees laundry is ob...
The Christian Pulisic Era Has Officially Begun
If there was a single aspect of the USMNT’s exhilarating, thoroughly commanding 6-0 crushing of Honduras in last Friday’s critical World Cup qualifier that was less than perfect, it was at least one outside the purview of everyone involved....
You Love Trucks. Do You Love People?
Donald Trump loves trucks, I guess. Also, the trucking industry is poised to be decimated by technological change. Here we have an opportunity. ...
Ryan Zimmerman Shimmies Around To Miraculously Avoid Tag
Ryan Zimmerman showed off his scrambling skills to somehow avoid what should have been a pretty straightforward Brian McCann tag at home plate in today’s spring training game against the Astros: ...
Sportswriters Whine About Kid Reporter Asking Legitimate Question At Press Conference
In South Carolina coach Frank Martin’s postgame press conference last night, preteen Sports Illustrated Kids reporter Max Bonnstetter asked an interesting and well-formulated question—one that, somehow, upset a handful of “adult” journalists:...
Basketball Fans Treated To Ads Congratulating Republicans For Repealing Obamacare [UPDATES]
Basketball fans tonight in several Republican-adjacent TV markets are enjoying a series of ads, prematurely bought by the American Action Network PAC, inviting viewers to call their representatives to thank them for repealing Obamacare today—something that did not happen. ...
In Defense Of Skyline Chili, The Good Kind Of Diarrhea Sludge<em></em>
“You really want the green noodles?” asked the seemingly amazed young man taking my order....
Christian Pulisic Is Not The Next Landon Donovan
In the leadup to the U.S. men’s national team’s critical World Cup qualifier tonight against Honduras, the usual and deserved attention has been predictably focused on Christian Pulisic, who, if you somehow still need an introduction, is the young American phenom lighting it up for Borussia Dortmund...
Pero Antić Celebrates Too Hard, Punches Teammate In The Face
Macedonian strongman Pero Antić, last seen in the NBA cracking skulls for the Hawks, is back in the Euroleague, where he first made his name as a bruiser. He’s currently playing for Turkish club Fenerbahçe alongside fellow NBA vets Jan Vesely and Ekpe Udoh. Antić is still muscling people out of his ...
Actually, The Huskies Didn't Want Michael Porter Jr. Anyway, Says Local Columnist<em></em>
Washington Huskies head basketball coach Lorenzo Romar was fired shortly after finishing a soggy 9-22 campaign, the worst in his 14 years at the helm, despite having the likely No. 1 overall pick (Markelle Fultz) in the upcoming NBA Draft. This seemingly non-controversial decision was made much more...
Confessions Of A Petty Citrus Thief
Perhaps the best perk of living in California, better than proximity to robber barons or weed, is the ubiquitous presence of fruit trees. Anecdotally speaking, everyone has a dang lemon, orange, plum, or avocado tree. Even when our fair state was in the worst throes of the mega drought, one could gr...
The Oakland A's Are Lonely
This is part of an occasional series comprising MLB season previews....
Taking "Lack Of Context" To Terrifying New Extremes
“Context.” What does it mean? Do we really need it? Is it possible to write an entire, outraged newspaper column without any context at all?...
A History Of Globalization
“Americanism, not globalism, will be our credo.”...
Reports: Second Ex-Baylor Football Player Arrested In 2013 Sexual Assault Case
Former Baylor linebacker Shamycheal “Myke” Chatman was arrested today in connection to a 2013 sexual assault case, in which a woman has said she was gang raped by two football players, according to multiple reports. The Waco Tribune-Herald and local TV station KWTX both reported that Chatman was arr...
![Appeals Court Overturns Sexual Assault Conviction Of Ex-Baylor DE Sam Ukwuachu [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ffexu1g4emmwgzw4tt7h.jpg)
Appeals Court Overturns Sexual Assault Conviction Of Ex-Baylor DE Sam Ukwuachu [Updated]
A Texas appeals court has overturned the sexual assault conviction of former Baylor football player Sam Ukwuachu—whose 2015 criminal case began a process that ultimately ended with Baylor admitting it had for years made the lives of students who reported they were raped a living hell. Ukwuachu was f...
Hector Figueroa Wants To Make The Democrats Fight Back
There is one reason why building workers in New York City can make a living wage: the Service Employees International Union’s 32BJ local. The union is the size of a small city, it’s vocal, and its president wants a wholesale reimagining of Democratic party politics in the Trump era....