ti Page 1272 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Neutering Is Not The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To This Bichon
There’s been quite a kerfluffle in Minnesota over this second-best Bichon of 2011 and 2012, Beau Lemon. The dog’s owner, John Wangsness, sued breeder Vickie Halstead, claiming that instead of having the decorated dog bred, she had the dog neutered....
How To Get In Shape
Feeling sluggish? Doughy? Increasingly short-winded? Well, my flabby friend, it’s time for you to stop putting off the inevitable and get back in shape. You’re not trying to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1980, but with time and commitment, you can at least get yourself looking and feeling bette...
Canned Champagne Is Bad, And Also Perfect
I recently learned that you can buy champagne in cans thanks to the genius of Francis Ford Coppola vineyards. If you winced at that sentence, canned champagne is definitely not for you. For the rest of us, it’s delightful sparkling wine....
John Calipari Probably Loves The Pope Way More Than You Do
It’s Pope Time in America, which means most people on the East Coast are grumbling about traffic and shipping delays and the goddamn Pope messing up their iPhone orders. Kentucky men’s basketball coach John Calipari is not one of these Gloomy Garys, though, because John Calipari loves him some Pope....
Players' Tribune Names Kevin Durant Kobe Bryant's Boss
Big news in sports journalism today. Biiiiiig news. Oklahoma City Thunder star Kevin Durant has accepted the position of Deputy Publisher at The Players’ Tribune, the outlet that cuts out media middlemen and lets pro athletes tell their agents’ brand messaging content directly to fans with no filter...
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
Goodbye Jason Richardson, Thanks For Making Me Fall In Love With The Warriors
The turn of the century was a bleak time to be a Warriors fan. Really, besides a few good Run TMC seasons in the early 1990s, any of the 30 years between 1977 and 2006 was a bleak time to be a Warriors fan. But in the opinion of this fan—who can first remember listening on the radio as the Warriors ...
Vin Scully Explains Yogi Berra-Related Reason Don Mattingly Isn't Wearing A Jacket Tonight
You know Vin Scully—whose broadcasting career overlapped with Yogi Berra’s playing career for an astonishing 16 seasons—has a wealth of Berra stories, but his tribute to Berra on tonight’s broadcast began simply enough: “As long as people talk about the game, whenever they mention the name Yogi Berr...
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Cantillon Iris Is Overpriced Bullshit
We merry Drunkspinners celebrate every holiday that crosses our paths, from Christmas to Rosh Hashanah to National Beef Doughnut Day to the other National Beef Doughnut Day. No matter how solemn or contrived, we can get behind any celebration that doesn’t expressly forbid beer. Not all members of th...
The NCAA Has No Idea What To Do About Daily Fantasy
At their annual meeting earlier this week, the hot topic among D1 athletic directors was the rise of daily fantasy sports, and what—if anything—the NCAA can or should do about it. The early returns from the meeting indicate that the NCAA wants daily fantasy to be considered gambling, and thus ban pl...
Jose Bautista Has A Goddamn Cannon Attached To His Shoulder
Jose Bautista spent a month earlier this season playing DH because his shoulder hurt so badly that he couldn’t throw. After tonight, it’s safe to say Bautista is fully recovered....
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
Auburn Fan Tammy Goes Back On The Finebaum Show, Gets Mad As Hell
Auburn got stomped by LSU last weekend, which means it was time for notorious Auburn superfan Tammy to call into Paul Finebaum’s show and let off a little steam. ...
How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
Police: TCU Football Players Arrested For Assault, Jacking A Case Of Keystone Light
According to numerous reports, TCU senior defensive end Mike Tuaua and redshirt freshman wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested on felony robbery and bodily injury charges for allegedly beating up fellow students outside of a party, and then stealing their case of Keystone Light....
A Sketchy Drug Test Didn’t Stop Vitor Belfort From Fighting At UFC 152
Just more than 24 hours ahead of their Memorial Day fight this year, UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman stepped up to his opponent, Vitor Belfort, in public, ready to accuse him of cheating....
I Peed My Pants At A Little League Game, And Other Tales Of Urine-Based Humiliation
A moment of silence for the dignity of everyone who responded when we asked you to tell us about a time you peed your pants. You have no shame, and you should be proud of that. But my God! A lot of you have pissed yourselves at inopportune times! Here are the best of those stories....