ti Page 1304 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cursin' Tiger Woods Strikes Again
Tiger Woods has actually been playing pretty decently at this year's Masters, but a rotten tee shot on today's par-5 13th left him dropping the old reliable "oh my fucking God" again. We'd say the same thing if, you know, we just hurled a club like that....
Grand National Winner Celebrates By Head-Butting Handler In The Balls
The Grand National is Europe’s biggest steeplechase, and its extreme length (more than four miles) means horses can be particularly feisty after nine minutes of being hassled by a jockey. Many Clouds took down the title at 25-1 odds today, and celebrated by head-butting one of his handlers. The gee...
"Astonishing Astrophysics!" Ronaldo Scores Bouncing Free Kick Goal
Cristiano Ronaldo put Real Madrid up 1-0 on Eibar today with this knuckler of a free kick that left the keeper totally, in Ray Hudson’s words, “bamboozled.” His whole call is, as usual, a gem:...
11 Things Longer Than Last Night's Sox-Yanks Game But That Felt Shorter
Last night’s offensively-, technologically-, and spermatozoaically-deficient 19-inning Red Sox-Yankees game officially clocked in at 6:49, but in reality the broadcast with festivities, anthems, et cetera lasted around seven hours. For viewers, though, the slogging despair of watching the longest R...
Dee Gordon Dunks On Christian Yelich During Post-Game Interview
The Marlins earned a big walkoff win against the Rays last night in Miami, with Christian Yelich delivering the clutch hit. Then Dee Gordon dunked all over him during his live post-game interview: ...
Fix The New ESPN.com Annoyances With This Greasemonkey Script
One of the biggest complaints about the new ESPN.com layout is that clicking a live score at the top of the homepage no longer takes you to the box score, but instead a live Game Tracker that takes time to load and generally isn’t something anyone actually wants to see. Reader William has remedied t...
Evan Gattis Is Having A Pretty Rough Go Of It Right Now
On Wednesday, Astros designated hitter Evan Gattis saw 17 pitches and struck out four times. Yesterday, Gattis saw 17 more pitches and struck out four more times. That’s eight straight strikeouts on just 34 pitches, and six of those punch outs featured Gattis going down swinging. ...
A Friendly Word Of Advice To <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Readers: Chill
Hello, fellow A Song of Ice and Fire readers. How are you? Doing well, I hope, though I worry. These should be exciting times, what with the impending premiere of Game of Thrones’ fifth season on HBO this weekend, but I can’t help but sense a little frustration in the air....
<i>The Way of the Dragon </i>Is A Stone-Cold Classic For That One Fight Alone
There used to be this DVD store in the Times Square subway station. Maybe it's still there. Probably not. Why was there ever a DVD store in the Times Square subway station? Some things just make no sense. But one day, maybe seven or eight years ago, I was walking through that hellmouth, and I saw ...
Florida Gators Wide Receiver Charged With Dating Violence
The Gainesville Sun reported today that University of Florida wide receiver Chris Thompson was charged last week with “misdemeanor simple battery/dating violence.” The charge concerns an argument Thompson had with an ex-girlfriend over text messages:...
Report: Troy Polamalu Has Revelation In Church, Retires
According to the Uniontown, Pa. Herald-Standard, Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu called owner Dan Rooney last night and retired. Polamalu missed four games due to injury last season, his 12th, and there were reports last month that the Steelers didn’t want Polamalu back, and hoped he would...
Video: Cops Throw Thabo Sefolosha To The Ground And Arrest Him
TMZ has obtained cell phone video footage of Hawks guard Thabo Sefolosha’s arrest outside of a New York night club early yesterday morning. Sefolosha and teammate Pero Antic were arrested for failing to disperse, after Pacers forward Chris Copeland was stabbed. Sefolosha reportedly fractured his ti...
"No, Tiger, Dumbass," Says Dumbass Golfer Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods hit a bad golf shot at Augusta today, and then he said “dumbass” on TV. ...
The Beer Idiot: Lucky Buddha
Lucky Buddha Beer is beer. Because of the fact that I have had many other beverages definitively known to science as beer (not bragging ... much), merely tasting the Lucky Drink Co. product was proof positive: This is beer. Beyond that meek pronouncement, however, the bona fides of this stuff are ...
Damn, This Barcelona Player's Trick Basketball Kick-Shot Is Dope
I don't know exactly how far Barcelona full back Martín Montoya is from the hoop—speaking of, why is there a basketball goal on the soccer field?—here, but regardless, booting a ball into it from any distance is damn impressive. If this is real, of course....
Gary Harris Gets Ankles Demolished By Crossover, Doesn't Quit Basketball
The Lakers played in Denver last night. By the fourth, they were losing by a zillion, which meant that both the Lakers’ Dwight Buycks and the Nuggets’ Gary Harris were matched up against each other. ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...
The Worst Thing About This Gruesome Powerlifting Accident Is The Sound
If you watch this video, you’re going to not only see, but hear the ruination of a man’s legs. Make your choice....
Bad Company Man Jeff Van Gundy Brings Up Augusta's Discrimination
Beginning tomorrow, ESPN will broadcast the first two rounds of the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club, so during tonight’s NBA contest they ran a little promo for it. Unfortunately for ESPN and the Masters, play-by-play man Mike Breen went off-script and imagined a world in which Jeff Van Gundy...