ti Page 1314 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rae Sremmurd Are Human Adderall
If you're like me, you didn't immediately get Rae Sremmurd, because you have a 401k and your hangovers are starting to get worse and you're beginning to feel the oppressiveness of your own mortality. But the pop-rap duo is great and fun—likely created by producer Mike Will Made It in a chemistry-lab...

Things That Are The Worst, Ranked
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering the dress, pantsless driving, bare feet, and more....

Why I Love Coutinho, And How Real Madrid's Slip Gives Us A Great<i> Clásico</i>
With the fireworks of the last few days, it would be natural to look down the sights and champ at how those results set up a couple blockbuster head-to-head matchups in the coming weeks. But let's take a second to look back and appreciate what we saw this weekend, which was magnificent....

MLB Photo Day Never Disappoints
This is the week when most MLB teams have their official Photo Day, meaning that we have once again been graced with a bunch of pictures of professional athletes looking like awkward eighth-graders. We browsed through a bunch of this year’s crop and found our favorites. Blue Jays catcher Jack Murphy...

PGA Tour Denies Claim That Tiger Woods Failed A Drug Test
Tiger Woods isn't golfing. He's taking some time off to rest, to heal, and to work on his game. But according to one dude who probably doesn't know anything, it's all a coverup, and Woods is actually serving a secret Tour suspension for a failed drug test. Today, both the PGA Tour and Woods's agent ...

A Squeamish New Dad's Guide To Diapers
In Act of Valor, the 2012 movie where real active-duty Navy SEALs play fictional active-duty Navy SEALs, there's a moment where two elite, hardened warriors are discussing fatherhood, and one of them mentions the scariest thing about it: diapers. If fucking SEALs can't handle diapers, is there any...

Let's Appreciate Danny Espinosa's Big, Beautiful Mustache
Oh, hey. I'm Nationals second baseman Danny Espinosa, and I have a ridiculous mustache now. This is how I look, on purpose....

Dustin Penner Loses TV Gig After Rape Jokes
Free agent Dustin Penner, who has probably reached the end of his shelf life as an NHL player, isn't having much more luck with TV. Scheduled to be a part of TSN's trade deadline coverage, he's now off the schedule thanks to some ill-advised tweets....

Elegant Giant Baby Joey Crawford Leaps Through The Air
You think Nikola Mirotic is going to take an improper free throw attempt? Not on Joey Crawford's watch. Look at Air Joey soar through the air as he foils a minor error in a game. Thanks for keeping us safe....

AEG Invokes Terrorism In Bid To Halt Rival Inglewood Stadium Project
Sports conglomerate AEG has pursued the construction of an NFL stadium in Los Angeles for over a decade, and it has become clear that they'll resort to a hilariously deplorable campaign of dirty tricks to ensure that a competitor's stadium doesn't get built. ...

Happy Borussia Dortmund Celebrate Goal Batman And Robin Style
Borussia Dortmund players are happy again! Today's 3-0 victory over Schalke was their fourth straight in the Bundesliga, dragging themselves from the relegation zone to ninth in the table. Since they're finally confident that they'll actually score some goals, they're planning out elaborate costum...

Jimmy Kimmel Got Some Doctors To Take An Educated Crap On Anti-Vaxxers
When Jimmy Kimmel isn't being a quasi-comedian whose life mission is to think up ways of lying to as many people as possible simultaneously in his quest for easily YouTubeable viral sensations that he can then sell ads against so as to turn a larger personal profit, the dude makes sense. The above c...

Orioles Augment Drills With Fake Crowd Noise; Neighbors Call The Cops
Baltimore Orioles manager Buck Showalter came up with a fun new spring training drill by forcing his players to field pop-ups while piping loud-ass fake crowd noise through the stadium's PA system. Unfortunately, some sensitive baby called the cops on them:...

This Kevin Garnett/Stephon Marbury Ad For <i>ESPN The Mag</i> Was Good
On the occasion of, I don't know, Kevin Garnett returning to Minnesota (okay, not really, it's because reader Chris emailed us to remind us of its existence), watch this 1998 commercial for the launch of ESPN The Magazine, featuring KG and then-Wolves teammate Stephon Marbury....

Action Bronson Does The Splits, Dunks On Godzilla
You know what? Action Bronson's new video for "Actin' Crazy," a song off his upcoming major-label debut, Mr. Wonderful,is ... wonderful. Sue me! Who doesn't want to play a game of one-on-one with Godzilla and power-dunk a basketball in space? Or do the splits perfectly? (Green screen aside, though,...

"Sports Analytics" Is Bullshit Now
The 9th annual MIT Sloan Sports Analytics conference takes place this weekend, and you've likely noticed all the coinciding and ongoing coverage of the analytical side of sports. Some of these stories are illuminating explanations of what's going on at the vanguard of sports analysis; others bitch, ...

I Don't Get Ed Sheeran
Here's what I know about Ed Sheeran: He's British, he's ginger, he sings, and he recently did his own version of O.T. Genasis's "Coco." I listened to that, and I turned to stone. It did not need to exist, but now it does, and it has done no favors in helping me figure out Ed Sheeran. ...

How To Survive A Long-Distance Relationship
I'm sorry we're here. Or rather, I'm sorry that the Love of Your Life is way, way far out over there. It's not easy being in a long-distance relationship. Trust me. While absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever, that absence is also exhausting, depressing, and can drive you crazy. You may fi...

<i>Headhunters </i>Proves That Norway Is Secretly A Super-Messed-Up Place
For a non-fan, the whole idea of the Nordic noir phenomenon can feel a bit strange: An entire genre of mass-market paperback thrillers dedicated to the idea that people in some of the world's cleanest, brightest, richest, most polite countries are really doing unspeakable things to each other behi...