ti Page 1324 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Old Man Tim Cahill Still Scoring Bonkers Goals Like This Bicycle Kick
The 35-year-old Tim Cahill is off playing with Australia in the Asian Cup they're currently hosting, and what better way to thrill the home fans than with a goal like this? Looks like Francesco Totti isn't the only ageless wonder out on these pitches....

Baylor Played An NAIA Team For The Sake Of A Dopey Movie
There's a noticeable oddity among today's college basketball box scores: The Baylor Bears, a nationally ranked Division I team, beat the hell out of the Huston-Tillotson Rams, an NAIA team that has a few Division I schools on its schedule, but has no real business playing against the big boys. The m...

Seagull Thrives After Getting Knocked Out During Cricket Match
The Perth Scorchers took on the Melbourne Stars in something called the Big Bash League yesterday, but more interestingly, a Scorchers batter nailed a seagull with a hit. It wasn't quite Randy Johnson demolishing a dove with a fastball—the damn thing didn't explode—but I'm sure it didn't feel go...

How To Survive At The Poker Table
Poker used to be cool. From Wild Bill Hickok getting shot up over aces and eights to Paul Newman and Robert Shaw eyefucking each other in The Sting, it has always held a place in American culture as the game you'd find grown-ass men playing in the smoke-filled back rooms of grown-ass places. Blame...

Mobb Deep: Two-Hand Rough Football in NYC
Head on over to SB Nation's Longform site and dig into the latest from our pal Ivan Solotaroff:...

How To Conquer Sticky Spills With Patience (Or None At All)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Report: 11 Of 12 Patriots-Supplied Footballs Were Underinflated
There has been two days worth of smoke surrounding Ballghazi, and now it looks like there might actually be a fire. According to ESPN's Chris Mortensen, the NFL's investigation into whether the Patriots deflated footballs during Sunday's AFC Championship Game has found that 11 out of the 12 balls th...

Toronto Will Make Sebastian Giovinco World's Highest-Paid Italian Player
Once you've tried to wrap your head around the nebulous machinations that resulted in Toronto FC's new star-studded roster, you're left wondering how exactly the team convinced certain players to join the league. In the case of Sebastian Giovinco, the pitch was simple: "How would you like to be the ...

And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures
Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story befo...

Three Ways To Improve Your 10K
First, go to winter training camp in Ethiopia and stay with that dope baller Geb! #Boomgettingitdone. That's Haile Gebrselassie there in the middle, notcher of 27 world records and a 26:22.75 10,000-meter guy. Of course, that was on the track, which is so so much faster than pounding out 6.2 mile...

How To Meet Your Significant Other's Parents Without Terrifying Them
Of all the fraught rites of new-relationship escalation—Facebook status changes and move-ins and one of you using the toilet while the other showers and so on—none inspires more anticipatory dread than the Parent Meet. And for a whole host of legitimate reasons: the psychic weight of parental app...

The Hawks Had A Choir Introduce The Starting Lineup, And It Was Way Cool
In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the Atlanta Hawks brought in a full choir to sing the starting lineup before yesterday's game against the Detroit Pistons. ...

Fowler Falls For Fake Website, Makes Crazy Claims About Tennis Star
Tonight's Australian Open coverage on ESPN2 featured announcer Chris Fowler explaining to the audience that Japanese pro Kei Nishikori is, among other things, the highest-paid tennis player in the world and the owner of a restaurant chain, a soccer team, and clothing and perfume lines. None of tho...

Here's Martin Luther King Jr. Telling A Joke On <i>The Tonight Show</i>
OK, it's not a good joke, but the man was busy. It was Feb. 8, 1968, and Martin Luther King Jr. and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference were in the thick of planning the Poor People's Campaign, which would culminate in a tent city going up on the Mall in Washington. It was also just two mon...

Chinese Dunk Contest Features Terrible, Hilarious Dunk
The Chinese Basketball Association had its all-star game over the weekend. I really don't understand why this guy was invited to participate in the dunk contest:...

Just How The Damn Hell Did Arsenal Pull That Off?
A few hours before the NFC Championship, an ocean away, a game of real football took place in England's Premier League between second-place Manchester City and fifth-place Arsenal. I'll spare you the drama: the good guys won....

MLS Is Putting The Fix In For Toronto FC, Right Before Our Eyes
Not that this is any real secret, but it deserves to be said as often as possible: MLS is rigged. The league jointly owns each individual team, centrally controls all major decisions, and has a rule book as regularly erased and written over as a chalk board. With yesterday's reported news that Juven...

Max Scherzer's Contract Isn't Quite As Impressive As It Seems
The Washington Nationals have reportedly signed Max Scherzer to a seven-year, $210 million deal. That's a lot of money! That's damn near Clayton Kershaw money! Except that it's not, really....

Hey, Here's A Photo Of Tiger Woods Without His Fake Front Tooth (Yes)
Go with me on this for a second. If you were gonna fly all the way out to Italy to surprise your girlfriend at her job—she's up for a record! this is important to her!—and go through the trouble of letting her family know ahead of time, and having them keep it a secret, you'd probably take a second ...

Christina McHale Pukes All Over Australian Open Tennis Court, Still Wins
American tennis pro Christina McHale overcame several episodes of puking during the third set against France's Stephanie Foretz to win her Australian Open first round match today 6-4, 1-6, 12-10. It was a gutsy performance, one ESPN showed in all its slow-motion vomiting glory....