ti Page 1326 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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El Crap: Scariest Pictures Ever
Never have I been so happy that my job entails sitting on my rump and sending pitches. Above, that's Kevin Jorgeson at his office, sending pitches. See the difference? ...
<i>Charlie Hebdo </i>Is France's Answer To <i>South Park</i>, Or Vice Versa
Most Americans woke up last Wednesday, scrolled through social media, learned of the Paris terrorist attack that left 12 dead, and, within minutes, had formed an opinion about a French satirical newspaper they'd never heard of. A consensus emerged: Charlie Hebdo (typical print run: 60,000) was an ...
Hero Chooses Jail Over Snitching On LSU Player For Selling Memorabilia
A Baton Rouge shoe store employee was booked on theft charges after refusing to cooperate with police, who wanted him to name the LSU player who gave him his own game-used gear to sell....
Harrison Barnes Forces Revision To The Definition Of A Shabazz Assist
Last week I introduced the Shabazz Assist, a revolutionary new statistic that properly credits a player for missing dunks that "ricochet perfectly to an open teammate in the corner." But like any forefront in advanced analytics, the Shabazz Assist remains a work in progress, and in hindsight its p...
Jozy Altidore, The Striker Who Never Was, Is Coming Back Home
Yesterday, news broke that perennial Premier League bottom feeders Sunderland had reached a swap deal with Major League Soccer. American striker Jozy Altidore is leaving Sunderland for MLS's Toronto FC. English striker Jermain Defoe, who just joined Toronto FC from Tottenham last summer, is going to...
Tall Grandpa Mark Hendrickson Is Trying A Comeback
Is there anything better than a good comeback attempt, especially one where everybody involved recognizes the minuscule chance of it being successful, yet wants to give it a shot anyway because what the hell, why not? Hope springs eternal in Orioles minicamp, where 40-year-old grandpa and former NBA...
<i>Broad City </i>Is A Fearless, Priceless Ode To Female Friendship
Broad City, the beloved Comedy Central show about two NYC-based best friends with a steady appetite for cruising dudes, getting stoned, and causing general mischief, kicks off its second season tonight, but it already feels like we've known these women (and they've known each other) forever. Ilana...
The Best Fake Law Firm Name We've Ever Seen Added Some New Partners
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Kurt Busch's Testimony: My Ex-Girlfriend Is A Trained Assassin
Back in November, Kurt Busch's ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll accused him of smashing her head into a motorhome wall three times, and filed for a protection order. The first two days of a hearing regarding the order were held in Kent County (Del.) Family Court in December. According to ESPN, Drisco...
Germany's Absurd World Cup Fake Free Kick Actually Worked In Practice
Remember that absurd, failed free kick that Germany attempted against Algeria in the World Cup? In case not, we've embedded video of it below. In the 88th minute of a 0-0 game—Germany would eventually win 2-1 in a dramatic extra time period on Mesut Özil's 120th minute goal—Germany won a free kick a...
Domestic Violence Charges Against Hope Solo Dropped
U.S. Women's National team goalkeeper Hope Solo had both misdemeanor assault charges against her dropped Tuesday, according to the New York Times. Solo was arrested in June, after police responded to a 911 call from her home and found her sister and 17-year-old nephew with visible injuries. The poli...
How To Not Suck At Tinder
It's cool to be good at Tinder, but it's far more important that you not be absolutely terrible at Tinder. So for starters, all you men-seeking-women types out there need to learn one important rule: Even if you match with a girl—and let me put this in italics so you'll remember—she has no obligatio...
Let's Look At All The Shitheads Who Thought A Playoff Was A Bad Idea
We'll start with the obvious, which is that the college football playoff was fucking awesome and I am happy that it finally exists. It returned meaningful football games to New Year's Day, which I had missed dearly. It amplified the importance of regular season games, rather than diluting them. I...
How To Survive An Office Meeting: A Guide For Sad Drones
One of the terrors of the modern office job is the meeting, wherein everyone in a particular business unit of a company converges to sit around a sad, grey conference table to recite terms like report and action item and iteration and suboptimal at each other in the hope that these will conjure, m...
Oregon's Mascot Got A Lil' Freaky Last Night
This is Puddles, the cuddly mascot of the Oregon Ducks, getting kinda nasty and baring its, uh, breasts(?) for some fans at last night's national championship game....
OSU Shuts Down Oregon's Offense To Win The National Championship
62. 46. 48. 38. 24. 42. 45. 59. 45. 51. 44. 47. 51. 59. 20. That's how many points Oregon scored each game this season....
The New Tebowing
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Dancing Hurdler Michelle Jenneke Is All Grown Up
It's been almost three years since the Internet discovered Michelle Jenneke. Then an 18-year-old Australian with a peculiar warm-up, she became the most famous fifth-place junior hurdler ever. ...