ti Page 1617 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Amar'e Stoudemire Injures Hand In Alleged Fight With Locker Room Fire Extinguisher [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17l8legswehdujpg.jpg)
Amar'e Stoudemire Injures Hand In Alleged Fight With Locker Room Fire Extinguisher [UPDATE]
Knicks forward Amar'e Stoudemire was treated for a left hand laceration that resulted after punching the glass area that enclosed a fire extinguisher after tonight's loss to the Miami Heat. ...

Brett Favre Will Have To Answer Questions Under Oath About Those <i>Other</i> Ladies He Allegedly Sexted
A Manhattan Supreme Court Justice has refused to dismiss a sexual harassment lawsuit against Brett Favre, filed last year by two former Jets massage therapists. This means that at the very least, Favre will have to testify under oath—-something he never did during the NFL's investigation into his in...

Twitter Asshole Joe Cowley Had Me Fired From The <i>Sun-Times</i>
It's fitting that it was on Twitter where Joe Cowley finally pushed the wrong buttons and clued everyone in to just what an ass he is. Because it was Twitter that provoked tough guy Joe into throwing his weight around, and getting me fired from the first journalism job I ever had. ...

Sometimes You're The Cyclist, And Sometimes You're The Pavement Splatter
This video comes to us via good old Jimmy Traina, and god damn. Sunday's Rock Lititz Tour in the heart of Amish Country was highlighted by this brutal crash, and maybe your turn is too sharp when the two race leaders both hit the barricades. According to the YouTube uploader, the first cyclist was...

Better Dirty Than Humbled: The Lights Go Down On The Bernard Hopkins Show
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J.—For years, Bernard Hopkins has entered the ring for each of his fights wearing a black balaclava, only his eyes visible, arms crossed overhead in an "X" to signify his nickname, "The Executioner." Outside the ring, he's a chatty bald man with a flattened nose and kindly eyes, now...

Dear Abby: Cleveland Sports Have Created An 8-Year-Old Psychopath
Yesterday's "Dear Abby" column featured "Good dad in Cleveland," who's seeking advice on what to do with his eight-year-old son, understandably driven to animal abuse by the frustrations of being a Cleveland sports fan. Little Junior loves sports, you see, but "he has trouble accepting a loss. He'll...

Joe Cowley: The Best Sexist Around, Nothing's Gonna Ever Keep Him Down
So, Joe Cowley. Hilarious satirist, or serial sexist? We'll try to address that soon, but first, let's discuss why you are watching the final tournament fight scene from The Karate Kid scored to Joe Esposito's "You're The Best Around." It seems Cowley had a signature sign off for those he was thro...

<i>Chicago Sun-Times</i> Columnist Joe Cowley Rides A Plane, Degrades Women Everywhere
Ever since Jay Marrioti fell off the face of the planet, the Chicago Sun-Times has been a little light in the abusive-toward-females department. This morning, Joe Cowley (pictured, far right) bravely stepped in to assume the role, in an albeit verbal, yet no less demeaning manner when he took on on...

Bryce Harper Has His First Major League Hit, Possibly Because Dodgers Fans Were Mooning Their Own Pitcher
Nationals rookie Bryce Harper doubled in his third MLB at-bat, giving him his first hit in the majors. More importantly, though, it happened as some fans behind home plate had their bare asses out and pointing toward the mound. Why? I don't know. Does it matter? No. [PRIME]...

Bryce Harper's First Major League At-Bat Was A Comebacker
He's clearly doomed to failure....

Michigan Costumed Vigilante Arrested Following Trailer Park Brawl
Where to begin? Let's start with the Michigan Protectors. The self proclaimed "costumed activists" work to set up neighborhood watches and are part of an online community known as "Real Life Super Heroes." Just so we're all on the same page though, these people do not have super powers, despite wha...

May The Dongs Be With You: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Lets jump right into the dongs. Today we begin with Luke Skywalker and his scruffy looking nerfherder dangling between his legs thanks to reader Jeff. As always, be sure to support our dong endeavors and send in any would-be penises to the tips department. ...

Tim McCarver Blames Global Warming For The Increase In Major League Home Runs
We'd normally save this sort of thing for McCarve'd Up (which will be back next week after being pre-empted for NFL draft coverage) but Tim McCarver said one of the stupidest things ever spoken on a television broadcast today, blaming global warming for "making the air thin" and thus leading to a...

Scott Hairston Hits For Cycle, Mets Get Clobbered
Scott Hairston did that cool and meaningless thing where a player gets all the different kinds of hits possible in one game. Sadly, it was not a "natural" cycle, an even more meaningless occurrence made remarkable by the order in which the hits are made. The Mets, on the other hand, did that uncool...

Mohamed Sanu Drafted By The Cincinnati Bengals, No Seriously—The Bengals Drafted Him Friday Night
The Rutgers wide receiver was projected to go in the second or third round, and after a prank call pump fake on day one, he actually did go in the third round to the team he thought picked him in the first round....
![Here's Umpire Jeff Kellogg Tackling A Streaker At Tonight's A's-Orioles Game [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Here's Umpire Jeff Kellogg Tackling A Streaker At Tonight's A's-Orioles Game [UPDATE]
Jeff Kellogg was behind the plate for tonight's A's-Orioles game, when during the Seventh Inning Stretch a shirtless fan came onto the field and (painfully, we imagine) slid headfirst into home plate....

After Today's Arrest, Fox Sports Detroit Has Decided To Call Him "Demon Young" Now
Reader Dave just sent this in. Isn't Young innocent until proven guilty? Not so much....

The Most Unwanted Tickets Of The NBA Season Were In New Orleans
Now that the NBA's regular season is over, it's time to wrap-up our analysis of NBA tickets that had the least demand. Once again, we turned to Will Flaherty, the director of communications for SeatGeek, the online ticket search engine that compiles data from hundreds of resellers. This time, Flahe...

Rajon Rondo, Magnificent Weirdo, Makes Every Tip-Off A Show
Thank you, anonymous YouTube user and presumed Celtics fan (Update: This guy!) who a) noticed that Rajon Rondo adds a stylish little tweak when he corrals the opening tip of every game, and b) put together a video compilation of some of this season's best. It's the showmanship of the pre-game rout...

John Cusack In A Goatee? Quoth The Raven: Meh.
John Cusack is one of those actors whom everybody likes. He was a consistently enjoyable presence in '80s films like Better Off Dead and Sixteen Candles, and he won the hearts of a generation of young women by being the most sensitive man ever in Say Anything. Since then, he's been an indie staple (...