ti Page 1630 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Broncos Should Trade Tim Tebow To Every Other Team In The NFL (Unless They Keep Him), According To Internet
Peyton Manning is a Bronco now, meaning Tim Tebow is trade bait. Which NFL team should part with their 30 pieces of silver (and maybe a fifth-round draft pick) to bring Tebowmania to town? The Internet has given this question careful consideration and furnished us with an answer: every team. ...
I Have A Confession: I Don't Know How To Pronounce Yoenis Cespedes
So I thought I'd get this out in the open now, before the season starts and I'm forced to embarrass myself publicly: I don't know how to pronounce A's outfielder Yoenis Cespedes's name....
Comments Of The Fortnight-Ish: Srsly?
To kick off today's discussion, here are two exceptionally great, fairly recent comments for you to examine:...
NIU Football Player Faces Assault Charges For Bulldozing A Band Member
Northern Illinois linebacker Jamaal Bass (No. 6 in the video, No. 1 in our hearts) was suspended for two games after an incident in November, when he ran over a poor Toledo band member. The trouble's not over: an Ohio grand jury has indicted Bass on one count of felonious assault and one count of ...
What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. You'd hear through the gra...
Miguel Cabrera Bleeds All Over The Infield After Taking Grounder To The Face
Cabrera, by necessity the Tigers' new third baseman, got a rude welcome to the hot corner in today's spring training game in Clearwater. A Hunter Pence grounder took a bad hop and caught Cabrera directly in the sunglasses, which cut open his cheek and ruined a perfectly good uniform with human blo...
John Elway Has Brass Balls
Whether or not you agree with an NFL team handing a potential $60 million in guarantees to a guy who has neck leprosy, I think that we can come to a consensus on one thing: John Elway has really big balls. HUGE balls. Balls the size of light bulbs. His balls are so big, you could harvest stem cells ...
The D Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore: Farewell, Dontrelle Willis, Crazy-Armed Everyman
The pitchers who wow us these days don't remind us of anything familiar. Most of MLB's sharpest aces—Justin Verlander, Jered Weaver, Roy Halladay, Clayton Kershaw, and C.C. Sabathia—were first-round picks, blessed with a freakish ability to throw much harder than their competitors, and groomed for m...
Report: Peyton Manning To Sign With The Broncos
Adam Schefter and Chris Mortensen were first with the news. OMG LET'S BRACE OURSELVES FOR TIM TEBOW TRADE RUMORS. At a time like this, it's important to remember the words of Matthew 26:34: "'I tell you the truth,' Jesus answered, 'this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three ...
When Irish Eyes Are Swollen: How Sergio Martinez Beat Matthew Macklin On St. Patrick's Day
Reputations are hard to earn. And they're hard to keep. They come with benefits. But they can also hang on a fighter like a chain, an extra burden in a sport that's hard enough as it is. Reputations can't be carried throughout a fight. They must be shed like a robe and donned again when the fight is...
The Baltimore Orioles Are Not Welcome In Korea
Back in February, the Orioles pissed off an entire baseballing nation with their pursuit of a South Korean high school pitcher. Flaunting Flouting the rules and risking an international incident is probably worth it for a young lefty with great control. Except it didn't go that way. The Korean Baseb...
Ernie Els Interview Was Equal Parts Short And Painfully Awkward
Ernie Els was in contention for at least a playoff at the end of the Transitions Championship today at Copperhead Course in Innisbrook Resort in Palm Harbor, Florida. Then he reached the final two holes, which he would bogey. He missed a gimme putt on 18 and missed out on a playoff and the champio...
Did Tiger Woods Shred His ACL Training With The Navy SEALs?
If Tiger Woods' old swing coach, Hank Haney, is to be believed, Yes. He did. Haney, you may recall has a book, The Big Miss, coming out just in time for the Masters. Excerpts were leaked in Golf Digest a few weeks ago, but The New York Times reviewed the book yesterday and noted an interesting asse...
Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Kindness
This is a feature where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....
Peyton Manning Watch: Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Lost in all the madness of the tournament this weekend (it was lost to me, anyway) is that Peyton Manning is whittling his options down and my sources tell me he has it down to three teams: the Tennessee Titans, the Denver Broncos and the San Francisco 49ers....
![Reports: Jamar Samuels Ineligible Because His Former AAU Coach Gave Him Money Before NCAA Tournament [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17gr927yhw370jpg.jpg)
Reports: Jamar Samuels Ineligible Because His Former AAU Coach Gave Him Money Before NCAA Tournament [UPDATE]
The usually angry Frank Martin was reduced to tears this afternoon following his team's loss without Jamar Samuels. According to Topeka-based writer Austin Meek, Martin was without Samuels because his former AAU coach and DC Assault founder, Curtis Malone, sent him money before the NCAA tournament....
Rick Santorum Secures The All Important Carlos Baerga Endorsement
Here's a fun little jaunt into the political world. Rick Santorum is currently campaigning in Puerto Rico for the primary on Sunday, where 23 delegates will be at stake. Santorum lost one delegate, but managed to unearth Carlos Baerga as a replacement....
Turns Out George Clooney Was Not The Biggest Cock In <i>Ocean's Eleven</i>: The Week In Unintentional Dongs
Welcome back to Unintentional Dong Submissions: Weekend Edition. Here are this week's everyday occurences that struck you, the reader, as phalluses. Phalli? Whatever. This one, the floor plan for the Bellagio in Ocean's Eleven comes courtesy of Mike. Be sure to send in any would-be penises to the t...
Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Grow
This is a feature where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....
Watch Creighton's Grant Gibbs Inbound The Ball Off An Alabama Guy's Back And Score
These are always great. Grant Gibbs goes off Nick Jacobs's lumbar for the easy layup, giving us the rare and wonderful highlight/lowlight combo. (Creighton won the game by a point.) Clark Kellogg calls it a "smart schoolyard play," which raises the question: What kind of schoolyard game features i...