ti Page 1685 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Let's Get This Clown Out Of Here": We Crashed ESPN's State Of The Union Address And Got Caught
Let's make one thing clear up top: Norby invited me. That would be Norby Williamson, ESPN's executive vice president of production. I have the email right here. Sent from [email protected] at 4:09 p.m. on Aug. 5. Subject line: "2011 'State of the Union' Talent Meeting - Sent on Behalf of Norby W...

Somebody Thought Luke Walton Would Make A Good "Big Men" Coach
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: two NBA Championships can't be wrong....

Hookers: A Deadspin Econometric Investigation
Reader "Steve Dildo" has alerted us to the client list of the "Desert Divas," an Arizona prostitution ring that was busted three years back. Mr. Dildo was most interested in the presence of a "Kevin Pitsoogle" on the list, but we've determined that this name is fake, unconnected to the similarly nam...

Bruce Pearl Hosts BBQ To Address NCAA Sanctions For BBQ He Once Hosted
On Wednesday, the NCAA announced that it would penalize former Tennessee men's basketball coach Bruce Pearl with a three-year show-cause penalty. The decision, which effectively shuts him out of a college coaching job for three years, is a result of infractions Pearl committed during his tenure at U...

Ravens Rookie Breaks Up Knife Fight At Five Guys Burgers, West Coasters Say In-N-Out Knife Fights Are Better
Tandon Doss is just a rookie, so he's still learning about Baltimore. His first lesson: the only two reasons to go to the Inner Harbor are the Aquarium and the chance to watch brawls at the many many chain restaurants (I saw a guy get shanked at the Cheesecake Factory once). Doss wasn't there for th...

Perhaps Bengals Fans Would Be Happier If They Were To Follow Carson Palmer's Lead
It's August 26, the day we keep hearing something about a hurricane that's apparently headed for New York City. Photo courtesy Trey, via @sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Derek Jeter And Minka Kelly Have Split, So Here's Your Chance, Dudes
Take that however you want to take it, single heterosexual male Yankees fans....

HOLY SHIT GIANT RAT IMPALED ON PITCHFORK
Let's stop worrying about earthquakes and hurricanes (and, for the east coast, natural disaster inferiority) and devote some time to the problem of the giant, possibly mutant rats living underneath our buildings....

Escape From Bristol: An Update On The Condition Of Our ESPN-Infiltrating Correspondent
After a bout of questioning from ESPN executive vice president Norby Williamson, Deadspin's Tommy Craggs has been released from Bristol headquarters and sent on his way back to New York. Despite having invited Craggs to the company's state-of-the-union event and having given him a temporary employee...

Police Release Initial Report Of LSU Bar Fight, Jordan Jefferson Figures Prominently
Baton Rouge police have published the initial incident report from the officer responding to Friday morning's parking lot brawl. You can read the entire thing below. It contains the statements of the 21-year-old Marine who was bloodied and bruised, as well as a female witness who appears to corrobor...

SPECIAL REPORT FROM INSIDE BRISTOL HQ: LIVEBLOGGING THE ESPN STATE-OF-THE-UNION ADDRESS
In continuation of Deadspin's tradition of extremely close-up coverage of the elephant that is ESPN, we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a series of live transmissions from a reporter stationed at ankle level inside the Worldwide Leader's annual all-company meeting. That's Chris Be...

New Hampshire Salutes World Champion Bruins In Most New Hampshire Way Possible: With A Corn Maze
This is a 12-acre corn maze at Sherman Farm in idyllic Conway, N.H., where the farmers live free or die and also have too much time on their hands. Their work has gotten some press, and the folks at Sherman Farm are rather astounded by the reaction. After Puck Daddy picked up the story earlier today...

There Were 347 Fans At That First Reds-Marlins Game Yesterday
"After the second game of the double-dip, the official attendance number was 22,505, but don't try convincing one of the few actually at the game in person." Like the guy who actually counted them all by hand. [@790Justin, via NYDN]...

Report: Mike Flanagan Killed Himself Over 'Prolonged Failure' Of The Baltimore Orioles (Updated)
WBAL reports that former Orioles pitcher Mike Flanagan, television announcer and top executive, was found dead on his Baltimore County property Wednesday afternoon and that sources confirmed that Flanagan took his own life 'despondent over what he considered a false perception from a community he ...

This Evening: Still Trying To Score Tickets For That Reds-Marlins Doubleheader?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 24, the day we learned how much to tip whom, and for what. Photo credit @johnfayman, via The Big Lead. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Is The Bloodied Marine That LSU's Jordan Jefferson Allegedly Kicked In The Face
We were sent this image purporting to be of the good samaritan, returning from Marine Corps training, who rushed to break up a Baton Rouge bar fight and ended up getting pummeled by at least four LSU players. We've been unable to confirm—the cops have instituted a media blackout, to the extent that ...

Exit Felix Pie; Luke Scott Will Have To Find A New Dark-Skinned Teammate To Throw Banana Chips At
Baseball's most discomfiting buddy comedy is near cancellation: Yesterday, the Baltimore Orioles designated outfielder Felix Pie for assignment, effectively ending his role as the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black clubhouse foil for redneck performance artist Luke Scott. ...

The Ravens' Torrey Smith, In The Safest Place Imaginable, Ran For His Life When The Earthquake Hit
Smith, the Ravens' second-round draft pick out of Maryland, was doing a UM commercial when the earth moved. Owings Mills is 120 miles as the crow raven flies from the epicenter of the quake, so we're sure it was intense. We're also sure that a wide open football field is precisely the safest place...

Leaked Emails Show A <em>Newsweek</em> Reporter Trying To Set A Picky Shaq Up With Some Girls (He Only Wants Rihanna)
As far as we know, Shaquille O'Neal—divorced a few years back—is happy with his comically out-of-proportion lover, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander....
