ti Page 1688 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

He Turns Water Into Wine, But He Still Can't Throw A 15-Yard Out
Your morning roundup for Aug. 16, the day the view from a diving board made us piss our speedos. Photo via Last Angry Fan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....

Watch As A Rockies Coach Gets Drilled In The Face While Bobby Valentine Talks
Just your typical pre-game rundown last night on Sunday Night Baseball. Except that, as Bobby Valentine was giving his portion of the preview of Rockies-Cardinals, someone on the field near first base can be seen getting KO'd by a baseball....

A Definitive Taxonomy Of Pro Wrestling Gimmicks
This intensely detailed poster is something of a throwback to a more theatrical time, when wrestling champions went by monikers more descriptive than Randy and Alberto. You can almost see the WWE's early 90s dartboard naming process at work. "An evil...dentist. A fighting...garbage man." [Pop Chart ...

I-Team: Help Us Solve The Mystery Of Mitch Albom's Ears
Tipster Chad D. (or Chadd?) writes in, [sic]s and all:...

Wisely, Ned Colletti Is Already Plotting His Exit Strategy
"Q: You're big on hockey. Any desire to be an NHL GM?...

Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...

This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Another week, another onslaught of people seeing phallus in unlikely places, capturing it on film and sending it in. Like that fountain that Luke S. saw in Siena, Italy, a few days back....

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Photoshop Contest: That Tiger Woods Photobomb Guy
We can all see That Guy from that Tiger Woods shot today becoming a meme, so we figured we ought to get in on the act as quickly as possible — and with your help. Go right ahead and fire away in the comments with your best Photoshop mash-ups of this screen grab. Best one wins a prize. Now get to it...

Tim Tebow Engineered The Strangest Play Of The Young NFL Season
Tebow's under a microscope, no doubt, so his plays are going to be scrutinized more than just about anyone else's. But last night's double-reverse-scramble-pass was so balletically chaotic, we'd have to break this down no matter who ran it. It just so happened to be Tebow who managed to be brillia...

If You Want More Info About Brandon Marshall's Stabbing Or Non-Stabbing, Today's Your Lucky Day
The South Florida Times, a publication that prides itself on "Elevating the Dialogue," went ahead and got its hand on all sorts of paperwork about an April 23 incident at Dolphins WR and all-around good guy Brandon Marshall's house. You remember, the law said his lady stabbed him but he decided not...

Science! Picks Your BCS Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, determining the participants and outcomes of every Bowl game....

Okay Easton PR Guy, You Win
Perhaps you've seen "Ultimate Batting Practice" around this week; it's a full fledged viral video now. You'll recognize it by the egregious sodomy of physics, and the prominently-displayed dual Easton logos. It's a "dude" making magic with four pitchback rebounders, and that's all the info that come...

Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....

Argentinian Sportswriter Names Twin Daughters "Mara" And "Dona"
Walter Rotundo, an Argentinian sportswriter, celebrated the birth of his twin daughters this week: Mara Delfina and Dona Isabella. They are both lovely names and, taken together, a lovely tribute to a 50-year-old former cocaine addict and alcoholic who once played soccer quite well....

Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....