ti Page 1701 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

You Can Have Any Sports Video Game You Want, But There's Only One
About this time last year, at E3, I was chewing the fat with a 2K Sports representative about NBA 2K11 which already looked to be the monster it would become. Long dominant in the pro basketball genre, the game with… [Kotaku] ...

Chone Figgins's Low Batting Average Helps People Get Drunker, Cheaper
Seattle Mariners third baseman Chone Figgins is currently batting .202 on the season. Hitting a notable .087 this past week, manager Eric Wedge sat Chone on the bench for last night's game against the Yankees. There's chatter of moving him down in the lineup; like No. 9 down....

This Memorial Day Weekend, Don't Forget To Prepare For The Penis Inspector
As far as we know, this isn't real. Carlmont High (Calif.) students don't have to "ensure that their penises are clean and orderly," nor do they have to procure a friend's pubes if they have trimmed their own. It's a senior prank, and a well-executed one at that....

Scottie Pippen Doesn't Care About Titles
Why else would he tell Mike and Mike this morning that "Jordan is the best scorer ever but I may go as far as to say LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game?" [via Broussard]...

Report: Police Intervened When Tate Forcier Was Seen Hanging Out Of His Third-Floor Apartment's Window
The "Tate Forcier is transferring to Miami, Tate Forcier isn't transferring to Miami" story may be a little more complicated than initially imagined. WOOD-TV in Grand Rapids, Mich. is reporting that police were called to Forcier's apartment on April 22 after the QB who quit the U. of Michigan footb...

Rays Fan, A Lawyer, Ejected For Wearing A "Yankees Suck" T-Shirt, Surely Won't Pursue Any Legal Recompense
This is a story about Melvin H. Little, a Tampa Bay Rays $20,000-a-year season-ticket holder from way back when they still had Devil in their names, taking his two sons to a ballgame the other night. They had good seats, about 10 rows behind the plate. He sported a "Yankees Suck" T-shirt because, w...

This Gaming Geek Shall Inherit <em>MLB 2K11</em>'s Million-Dollar Prize
Before setting off to claim a million-dollar bounty offered by MLB 2K11, Brian Kingrey did an analysis. He pored over batting averages, compared pitcher strengths and tendencies, examined the probable starters for the contest's opening day and the batting orders… [Kotaku] ...

Look, Someone Asked Tim Hardaway About Joakim Noah's Potty Mouth
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Hardaway minces words....

Le Mans Driver Makes Convincing Case That What He Does Is Athletic
Co.Design takes a look at the Audi commercial featuring Scottish driver Allan McNish, who explains the toll the 24 hour Le Mans race — which is the "equivalent of an entire Formula One season — takes on his body. Woozy motion graphics ahead. [Co.Design]...

More Bad Madness On The Sepp Blatter Campaign Trail
A week before FIFA's presidential elections, another evil-smelling troll has escaped from the basement of Sepp Blatter's Swiss chalet. The current source of horror: Mohamed bin Hammam, Blatter's rival in the elections, was charged yesterday with offering bribes to members of the Caribbean Football U...

Football Wunderkind Now A D1 Prospect: A Followup To Our Pearl-Clutching
It was more than four years ago that this very site brought you the story of Ben Onett, a 13-year-old New Hampshire quarterback who was already thinking college recruiting. His lovably low-tech scouting profile, set up by his family, still exists, but it's an artifact of a simpler time. Now this stu...

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

When They Came For Argentine Soccer Fans With Hoses, The Fans Fought Back With Umbrellas
Despite uploader daniel1512020's admission that this video from Sunday's Huracan vs. Estudiante match is "horrible el audio," what's important is el visual. It seems as if rioting prompted officials to call the game after 32 minutes with Estudiante winning the Primera Division game 2-0. This is a ...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part IV: Cooke And Bligle Jim Escape To The Potomac
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CX.")...

David Beckham Secures A Post-Soccer Future In Field Security With This Fan Takedown
English soccer clubs sometimes play "testimonials," in which they bring back their older stars for a friendly match of former rivals. Like parades or bowling parties, it's a nice way to make the old folk feel appreciated for still being around. Yesterday, with Man United playing Juventus in the Ga...

Bernard Hopkins Finally Explains His Loathing For Donovan McNabb And How He Can "Look Through A Man's Soul"
You might recall that before he became the oldest boxing champ in history last weekend, Bernard Hopkins had some choice words for Donovan McNabb, who never had much truck with the boxer, aside from neglecting to shake his hand when Hopkins visited the Eagles training center in 2004. Never one to let...

Oscar De La Hoya Is Not Having A Fun Time In Rehab
Oscar looks bloated and sad, as this valiant paparazzo hounds him. What happened to the Golden Boy?...

All The Unkind Things Bill Simmons Said About His Colleagues In The ESPN Book
One of the most interesting characters to emerge from the ESPN book is the formerly inscrutable Bill Simmons, if only because we've never heard him be so (openly) self-aware before. He again whips out the big swinging dick in some more excerpts....

Tortured Analogy Leads Tiki Barber To Declare Himself A "Reverse Anne Frank"
The Tiki Barber image rehab tour kicks off in earnest (remember, he's planning to play again) with a big Sports Illustrated profile dropping tomorrow. In it, he tells a story of the time he went into hiding in the attic of his agent, Mark Lepselter....