ti Page 1741 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sad Pistons Can't Even Put Together A Real Cheering Section
How bad are things in the Motor City if the Pistons can only get 11 people to show up to tryout for their new cheering section that's giving away free tickets? Somehow this is Tracy McGrady's fault. [The Detroit News]...

Bleacher Report Editors Demand Bleacher Report Writers Be Less Retarded
If you are one of those unlucky sports fans who has to slog through Bleacher Report's Google-raping SEO "stories" when you do a general news search for a topic about an athlete, team, or topseventeensidelinereportersthechileancoalminersshouldhavesexwith, this is great news....

Something Lawsuity May Be Afoot Down Austin Way
U of Texas associate athletics director for football operations Cleve Bryant has gone on administrative leave. Perhaps coincidentally, a former female employee of the athletics department has hired Gloria Allred. That's not fishy at all. [How To Have Sex In Texas]...

James Harrison Threatens To Quit Football If He Can't Continue Hurting People
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Steelers linebacker James Harrison....

A Yankee Stadium Memory: "Their Look Didn't Say, 'Shut Up.' It Said They Wanted To Kill Me."
The following is taken from Bronx Banter Presents: Lasting Yankee Stadium Memories, edited by Alex Belth and featuring recollections of the old ballpark—sorry, stadium—from the likes of Pete Hamill, Charles P. Pierce, and Joe Posnanski. Bob Costas has something in there, too, I guess. Here, the grea...

Your Religion/Textile/Baserunning Metaphor Of The Day
Anyone want to explain this one? "What appeared to be 90 feet, teased from the fabric of New York Yankees resolve, with each tug brought more yards of grace."...

America Explains Itself
We asked you, the fine television viewers of America, why you preferred a crap regular season football game to a great playoff baseball game. You responded, justifying your choice for four reasons....

No, ESPN Did Not Tell The MNF Coaches To Take Timeouts (UPDATE)
Paranoia swept the blogosphere this morning, as word spread like wildfire that ESPN had told the Jaguars and Titans to use their timeouts at the end of a blowout to get more commercial breaks. Great story. Too bad it's not true....

Video: We Ask Jose Canseco About His Missing Chandeliers
Earlier today, I scuttled over to 8th and Broadway in Manhattan. The goal: ask Jose Canseco if he'd gotten his "chandeleers" back. Was it a success? Yes. Yes, it was. As much as anything involving Jose Canseco can be called a success....

Goddamnit It, America
You could have watched an exciting, important game, a tense changing of the guard of the best playoff pitchers ever. Or you could have watched Kerry Collins and Trent Edwards trade handoffs in a meanlingless AFC South contest. Guess which you chose....

With $110 Million Settlement, Elin Nordegren Can Finally Replace That Busted Car Window
Elin Nordegren reportedly received $110 million in her divorce settlement. That's 11 times more than No. 1 mistress Rachel Uchitel received from No. 2 golfer Tiger Woods. In a just world, it would have been 17 times more. Or 19?...

Rick Pitino Screws Common Decency On A Restaurant Floor, So To Speak
Louisville has offered a scholarship to former Wake Forest center Tony Woods, last seen fracturing his girlfriend's spine. You can rest assured Rick Pitino will find a way to compare this to 9/11. [The Dagger]...

Bo Pelini Is Pissed In Both Senses Of The Word
Please cast your eyes to the crotch of Coach's pants, which appear to be running a spread offense of their own. [ESPN, H/T Bryan C.]...

Coach Would Rather Players Sleep Around Than Drink After Games
Roberto Mancini has made Eastlands the new preferred destination for football's top womanizers, after ordering his Manchester City players to put down their pint glasses and instead wrap their hands around a nice pert boob....

Phillies Fan Puking On The Field Is Definitely Puking On The Field
Brian posted this in Wake Up yesterday, but this needs to be seen again and pored over like the Zapruder Tape. Let's theorize, shall we?...
![Why Did Cal-Berkeley Demote Its 25-Time National-Championship-Winning Rugby Team? [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f0v1fc5rhqmjpg.jpg)
Why Did Cal-Berkeley Demote Its 25-Time National-Championship-Winning Rugby Team? [Updated]
The varsity rugby team at Cal Berkeley has won 25 national championships since 1980. Little matter. The school's shuttering the program and making it a "club." Because of the school's budget. And Title IX? [Edit: Punctuation updated.]...

The Messiah College Lady's Soccer Team Will Not Tolerate Peeping Toms
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Phillies/Giants NLCS Game One Open Thread
Roy Halladay and Tim Lincecum are getting most of the pre-Game-1 attention. As well they should. Two game-changers, pure and simple. But, one has to lose. Ok, both can get no decisions, but one of their teams has to lose....

Baltimore Furry Commits Itself To Inspiring Marathoners
His name is Nate Sweeney. On days like today, when people run 26.2 miles through Baltimore, he dons a full-body tiger suit of synthetic fur and blasts Survivor....

Here's The Last Picture Taken Of A Former President Before Nolan Ryan Turned On Him With Arms Named "Power" and "Glory"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....