ti Page 1742 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bringing An NHL Team To Quebec City Is Literally The Most Important Political Issue In Quebec
You know all those jokes about French Canada? Turns out the National Assembly of Quebec hasn't heard them yet. This is a completely bizarre story, with obvious law-breaking, party defections, and boondoggles so big you wonder if Halliburton has opened a Québec branch office....

A Long List Of Sports Figures Who've Also Claimed Their Twitter Was Hacked
As soon as Rep. Anthony Weiner first acknowledged his roiling Twitter-bulge scandal with a desperate "I've been hacked" defense last week, we knew he was guilty. "I've been hacked" is the first refuge of a cock-Tweeter. Weiner isn't the first to mistakenly send a private Twitter flirtation to a rel...

Army Football Player's Career Derailed After Run-In With Patti LaBelle
The latest college football scandal revolves around Patti LaBelle. Richard King, a West Point cadet and former Army football player, is suing LaBelle for allegedly ordering her bodyguards to attack him during an incident at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston this past March. The 67-year-old ...

Is Tim Thomas Gonna Have To Check A Bitch?
Your morning roundup for June 7, the day Anna Kournikova turns 30. (Yes, only.)...

Shaq Calls Dwight Howard Beef "All Marketing," Newspaper Wonders If Cop-Out Is Attempt At Marketing
The Orlando Sentinel has spent some time today getting to the bottom of that beef we all forgot ever existed because it centered around a nickname and involved the two NBA players most closely related to Dennis the Menace, and is thus more of a semi-competitive thumb war than anything resembling tru...

The Mavericks' Crack-Up Has Started Ahead Of Schedule
ESPN Dallas has a tale of infighting, or something, that will send all you Dallas-lovers to the bookies. About Jason Terry, Dirk says, "They keep sticking him [James] on Jet in the fourth quarters and he's been doing a good job. Jet hasn't really been a crunch-time, clutch player for us the way we n...

How Hair Extensions Made Me A Casual Sex Goddess
You haven't had steamy sex until you've done it with long hair. After adding mid-back blonde extensions to my usual platinum pixie, I had the chance to experience sex from an entirely unique perspective that I didn't even know existed. My long blonde hair was like a dirty maid Halloween costume…you ...

Tim Donaghy On Game 3: How Refs Read The Players
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...

The One With The NFL Wideout Sending Unsolicited Wanking Pics Of Himself
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

Azerbaijani Reporters Throw Toilet Paper, Antiquated Bathroom Device At Soccer Coach After Loss
And you thought Gregg Doyel's (silly) question was as rough as it could get in a postgame press conference....

It’s In The Game, Unless It’s Outside The Lines
Without fail, every time I bring up this job with folks outside the business, the topical jokes start rolling. Whatever the latest controversy or embarrassment is in sports, people ask if that's going to be simulated in the next edition… [Kotaku] ...

Tim Tebow Dreams Of A World In Which College Athletes Get Paid Enough To Buy Scooters And Eat At Outback
Tim Tebow was on the Daily Show last night with a brand new tagline: Author. If you haven't heard, by way of the book's trailer (this is a thing that is apparently done quite regularly now) or his Colorado-to-Florida book tour, the 23-year-old quarterback has released his first-quarter-of-life mem...

Tim Donaghy On Game 2: The Trouble With Subjectivity
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...

Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel
A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...

Watch This Heroic Linesman Valiantly Try To Keep The Portland Timbers Undefeated At Home
Despite the best efforts of its alcoholic fans and a possibly drunk linesman, the Portland Timbers finally lost at home this past weekend. For a while, though, it looked like Portland might steal a victory from visiting DC United. That was because the refereeing crew seemed determined to give the ...

An Edmonton Oiler Picked Up A Hitchhiking Bono In Vancouver
As a young driver, they used to tell me: Always pick up hitchhikers. You never know when one of them will be the guy who scored Spider-Man: the Musical....

Confessions Of A Second-Grade Reaganite
Ronald Reagan would have been 100 years old this year, but he's dead now and riding ponies up in heaven or something. I was in second grade in 1984, when Reagan defeated Walter Mondale in the biggest election landslide in American history. And for reasons unknown to me now, I appear to have adored t...

The Justice Department Is Very Interested In The BCS's Legality
As are we all (fans will take the empire crumbling any way they can get it, but the government probably has more say in that than sports writers.) Bill Hancock will meet with DOJ lawyers sometime this summer for what he's calling a "voluntary background briefing." Basically, they want to know how th...

This Is One Way To Get Out Of Your Impending Wedding
To tell the Tale of Topless, Stimulant-Riddled, About-To-Be-Married "Sasha S," not much more beyond the "Drugged-up bodybuilder causes road carnage" headline is necessary. Well, other than the kicker:...

Derek Jeter Leads AL Shortstops in All-Star Voting, NL Responds By Adding Extra Infielder
It's stupid to get angry at one particular casualty of the fans' All-Star Game voting, because they annually and reliably fail to select the deserving candidates at each position. But Derek Jeter's early accumulation of 40% more votes than the second-place AL shortstop is just too awful to let go....