ti Page 1766 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Real Ronaldo Decides To Call It A Day
The Spoiler was just a whipper-snapper when Ronaldo first came to our attention and he absolutely blew our tiny little mind. He was unbelievably strong, quick and skilful — he's what Jonah Lomu could've been if he'd not lived in New Zealand and made the right life choices....
Happy Valentine's Day, From Delonte West
We dug this gem out of the Page 2 archives from way back in 2006, when Delonte West was a talented sophomore, and his ideas for romancing the ladies were in no way sullied by anything that may or may not have occurred later in Cleveland....
We Can Now Laugh At The Grammy Reporter Who Spoke Gibberish Last Night
Since Serene Branson did not, in fact, have a stroke while reporting live from the Grammys in Los Angeles last night, we think it is now safe to laugh openly at her incredible mumbo-jumbo-daracen-speak. Our interpretation is subtitled above....
The Story Of Two Guys Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards And Lived Out Every Fan's Dream
A few years ago, two men went to an Orioles game at Camden Yards. The game withstood a prolonged rain delay but was eventually postponed. Somehow, through hours of drink and delirium, our two heroes were locked in the gorgeous stadium by themselves during a torrential downpour. The story of what the...
Nine Chinese Figure Skaters May Not Be The Age China Said They Were
After the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the IOC launched an investigation into the ages of China's women's gymnastics team, because it seemed very possible that a few members were not women at all, but actually pre-adolescent girls. The '08 gymnasts were eventually cleared, but it came out that a '00 Olymp...
Tiger Woods Spits On The Green, Golf Gets All Offended
Disgusted with his Sunday collapse in Dubai, Tiger hocked up a loogie on the 12th green. That was all announcer Ewen Murray needed to label Woods "arrogant and petulant," and the European Tour fined him an undisclosed amount....
Big Baby Davis Would Like To Have This Fast Break Back
Your morning roundup for Feb. 14, the day A.J. stole Philadelphia's heart forever....
Croatian Soccer Fans Turn The Sky Red For Their Team
Croatia's oldest football club, Hajduk Split, turned 100 this weekend. So, fans appeared to storm the castle and torch everything in sight. Or something like that....
Your Heat vs. Celtics Open Thread
Both the Celtics and the Heat have 14 losses on the season. When they get done playing this afternoon, one will be in sole possession of first place in the Eastern Conference and the other will have sole possession of second place....
The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....
This Was The Day Snow Dong Evolved Into Snow Tits
Here's the subject line of an email sent by tipster Kadinsky of Milwaukee: "I see your snow dong..." The point comes into focus after the ellipsis: "and raise you a pair of snow tits. with sculpted bush." That's all you had to say, MF....
Connecticut Man Ordered To Publicly Apologize To Whale Mascot
Kevin O'Connell got drunk and went to the Connecticut Whale minor-league hockey game on Jan. 28. When he got there, he tackled and punched team mascot Pucky the Whale, who was greeting child fans. In court a few days later, he said he did so because of a bet....
The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....
Rays' Spring Training Stadium Infested By Bats, Covered In Bat Shit
Alternate headline: Bats! Bats! Oh God So Many Bats! Exterminators say they'll have the situation under control by the start of Spring Training games, but their solution amounts to building a big house just for the bats just outside the stadium. I hope they release the bats for game-winning home run...
Isles Goon Runs Business More Successful Than His Own Team
Zenon Konopka, who leads the NHL in penalty minutes this year, is a grapeseed oil magnate. He makes and sells wine, too. Then, presumably, Sandis Ozolinsh drinks it. [AmEx Open Forum]...
Ray Allen Humbly Breaks The NBA's 3-Point Record
Last night, Ray Allen made the 2,561st three-pointer of his professional career in a 92-86 loss to the Lakers and gave Reggie Miller a hug. He did this, as he reportedly does everything else in his life, quite humbly. Even if it is true that all 2,562 of those three-pointers (he knocked down another...
Tiger Woods Is Having A Great Time In Dubai
Your morning roundup for Feb. 11, the day the White House has to play whatever cards they have left…...
Having A Heart Attack? Call Up Sports Talk Radio
Very devoted listener "Smokey" wouldn't let a little myocardial infarction stop him from calling in to Paul Finebaum's show this afternoon. He even got the ER nurse to confirm, as if we'd think he was any weirder for making this up....
No, A Coach Donating His Kidney To A Player Isn't An NCAA Violation; Yes, They Had To Make Sure First
Wake Forest baseball coach Tom Walter donating one of his own kidneys to freshman player Kevin Jordan is one of the best stories we've heard in a long time. So we're not sure if it speaks more to our cynicism or the labyrinthine bylaws of the NCAA that we honestly wondered: does this violate anythin...
Titans WR Kenny Britt Has A Problem With Bail Bondsmen
To hear Bails Bails Bails and Boss Bail Bonds tell it, Tennessee Titans WR Kenny Britt swore he'd cover the $12,500 necessary to cut his Jersey City boy Albert Robinson free of The Man's clutches, but when time come to pay, Britt didn't step up....