ti Page 1804 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Orioles Fans, As Strange As That Sounds
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Camden Yards' 20,108 paying customers, who, despite the O's not scoring a run, were treated to two meltdowns, three ejections and one very determined fan on the field....
Mutton-Almost-Bustin' At The Tour De France
Alberto Contador came 108 miles closer to winning his third Tour, no thanks to a bunch of of sheep who came out of fucking nowhere to dart across the road in front of the peloton....
NFL Wants To Take Hard-Earned Money From All Those Players Who Shoot Themselves In Bars Or Something
NFL executive vice president Jeff Pash has some serious problems with the current collective bargaining agreement, foremost being that all those football players shooting themselves in bars get to keep their signing bonuses. Outrage!...
WNBA Player Has Funny Name When Pronounced Incorrectly
Phoenix Mercury vet DeWanna Bonner—who could probably take anyone on staff here in a game of Horse or 1-on-1, but not knockout, never knockout—has a name that begs to be said aloud in a bad Jamaican accent....
Palm-Greasing BP Had Secret Request Line For Tickets To Terrible Arco Arena Shows
Arco Arena events California lawmakers might have seen for free since the Deepwater Horizon spill: Harlem Globetrotters, the Eagles, Daughtry, Carrie Underwood, Cirque du Soleil, Sesame Street Live: Elmo and Friends, The Judds "Last Encore Tour 2010," Rihanna with Ke$ha, and Tool....
Duke Basketball Fan Feels Persecuted, Part 7,938
"i've noticed that espn opens each sportscenter with championship snippets of the yankees, saints, lakers, alabama football, even uconn women's bball. hmmm. who's missing and is it intentional?" That's followed by the emoticon for "whining Little Lord Fauntleroy." [Duke Basketball Report]...
Ooh, Ooh: Cristiano Ronaldo Is Getting Married!
Frankly, thank Christ for Facebook — without it, Cristiano Ronaldo's life might maintain an element of mystique, but then everyone would be bored....
Dodgers Lose Another One, This Time To The Rulebook
We love it when a manager uses the rulebook to his advantage. Bruce Bochy caught acting Dodgers manager Don Mattingly inadvertently stepping off the mound during the visit to his pitcher, and the resulting nitpick gave the Giants a victory....
Arizona Lady Emigrates Illegally From Shirt
Maybe Arizona is the lawless hellhole Jan Brewer's made it out to be, after all. Between the Nazis on the borders and the streets becoming sets for an ill-advised No Country For Old Men sequel, the citizens of Arizona now have to worry about the unpatrolled border of this lady's cleavage....
Accused Rapist Now Tied With Serial Philanderer As America's Favorite Athlete
The full list, per Harris Interactive: 1.) Acquitted Accused rapist, serial philanderer; 3.) Overrated tax cheat; 4.) Former junkie; 5.) Choker; 6.) Cocksucker; 7.) Corporate tool; 8.) Pretty boy; 9.) Drew Brees; 10.) Some guy driving a car. [Harris Interactive]...
Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...
It's Your Last Chance To See Lou Piniella Gesticulate Wildly On The Field
Lou Piniella will retire following this season, adding yet another name to the ignoble list of those the Cubs have irrevocably broken. [Chicago Breaking Sports]...
John Kruk Thinks Prince Fielder Isn't Too Fat
Teams should pay Fielder millions of dollars and not worry about his weight, says a man who was paid millions of dollars and refused to drop pounds. He then proceeded to pick his teeth with one of Mickey Morandini's de-fleshed ribs. [ESPN.com]...
Rangers Pitcher Hit In Head With Comeback Liner
Tonight in the bottom of the 6th, Rangers reliever Dustin Nippert took a hard liner to the head courtesy of the Tigers' Austin Jackson. Nippert seemed shaken but ultimately walked himself off. He is currently listed as day-to-day, according to MLB.com....
Baby Eating Way Out Of Watermelon Encapsulates The Human Cond—Awwwwwww!
Edible time-out? Funtime/dinnertime mashup? Emerging pod person? All we know is—awwwwwww! [via ExtraHotTrainaMustardClicks]...
Miguel Ángel Jiménez Wins The British Open Trick Shot Competition
Miguel Ángel Jiménez will never have to buy...whatever his drink of choice is after this shot Saturday. On 17—the affectionately named Road Hole—he had no choice but to Tin Cup it off the wall onto the green. Smooth, MAJ. Smooth....
Tiger Woods Is Back To Cussing At Himself
Over the weekend, Tiger didn't perform as well as he had planned and, following a missed putt, decided to let the obscenities fly. While oddly familiar, we are glad to see Tiger getting his act together on the green. [Devil Ball Golf]...
<em>Inception</em> Was Great, Now Please Stop Talking About It, Assholes
I went and saw Inception on Friday night. I like any movie that includes mid-air hand-to-hand combat and Marion Cotillard's cleavage. But it's clear this movie is about to supplant "Lost" for annoying fanboy overanalysis....
Mike Tyson Offers A Few Thoughts On Gentrification
On returning to his old Brownsville neighborhood: "This white woman come up, and I'm thinking, Wow. When I was a kid, she would've been robbed and raped and left for dead. This is a real strange scenario, and I just wanted to cry. I'm like, 'Who am I? Where's my heritage?'" [Details]...
Spend Your Lunch Break Reading Through This Highbrow Round Table Featuring A Bunch Of Our Pals
Katie Baker, Will Leitch, Bethlehem Free Darko Shoals, Chad Harbach—editor of n+1— and more, talking about sports and literature? Click through already! One of the panelists even reveals a secret crush on Craggs. [The Morning News]...