ti Page 1814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Black Mexican Prevents Black Out
Chad Ochocinco, along with the fine folks at Motorola, bought up the remaining unsold Bengals tickets to prevent a TV blackout on Sunday. Also, if you want to see "Law Abiding Citizen" tonight, he'll pay for that too. [WKRC/Twitter]...
Maradona Tells His Critics To "Suck It", Also "Keep On Sucking it"
Argentina's greatest soccer hero has caught a lot of flack since taking over the national team and leading them almost nowhere. But after dramatically securing a last-minute World Cup berth, he let loose with an epic kiss-my-ass tirade....
The Best Catalogs To Read While Pooping
It's Friday, and that means you're aggressively prepared to not do anything. It's a leisurely day, filled with put-off work, early drinks, and extended bouts of pooping....
Cardinal Hoops Players Face Justice, Pitino Style
Louisville's Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings were charged with misdemeanor counts of resisting law enforcement. Their coach says "it's serious" and they will be punished....just not in any way that involves playing time. Yes, that serious! [ESPN]...
Two Best Words in the English Language: Bacon Deluxe
Everything is better with bacon. You know this, we know this, and Wendy's® knows this. So they created the NEW Bacon Deluxe: beef, cheese, lettuce & tomato with four—that's right, four—thick slices of Applewood smoked bacon. Who's hungry?...
Former Penn State Player Suing School After Rape Charges Dropped
Two years ago, Penn State running back Austin Scott was arrested and kicked off the football team when he was accused of rape. Seven months later, the case was dropped, but not soon enough to save his NFL career. Oops!...
Your Food/Finance/Heavy Construction Metaphor Of The Day
"[W]hen a team gets on a postseason roll, it usually produces a steamroller effect. Sometimes the roll goes stale, but if you get a fast bite after it leaves the oven, it still tastes good and pays dividends." [NYDailyNews.com]...
Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders. Part 87
New blue blood/great white hope, Ryan Leaf has finally kicked his silly vicodin addiction and is busy starting his life over (again) in "environmentally soothing" Vancouver, B.C. He says he's finally found the cause of his personal problems — football....
Florida Gymnast Lets Boyfriend Turn Her Apartment Into Weapons Cache
A University of Florida gymnast was arrested yesterday after police discovered "a safe, nine shotguns or rifles and two computers" in her apartment, all of which were stolen by her totally awesome boyfriend....
Jackie Robinson A Republican Hero, Say Republicans
One of the most asked questions we here at Deadspin get is "If Jackie Robinson were alive today, how would he vote?" Well, someone's offered an answer....
A Manly Manly Way For The Titans To Bust Their Slump
According to a not nearly tongue-in-cheek enough column in The Tennessean, the only thing that can turn around the winless Titans is a Cuddle Party in their pajamas. I'd be shocked if this wasn't ghostwritten by Vince Young. [Tennessean]...
The Learning Curve: A Giant In Redskin Country
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....
Delighting In Rick Reilly®'s Massively Wrong Broncos Predictions
Reilly® has written many nasty things about "Boy Blunder" Josh McDaniels and the Broncos, presumably because the latter hired the former to replace his tandem-bike partner, Mike Shanahan. Now that Reilly's 4-12 prediction is a mathematical impossibility, let us revisit....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
When The Bands Are More Competitive Than The Football Teams
The epic Grambling State and Prairie View rivalry was taken to absurd new heights last week, as each team's marching band attempted to disrupt the other team's offense. Seriously, this is the most exciting story on SWAC football in years....
Your Early Games Open Thread
So what if the Giants are forced to resort to their second string QB? The Raiders have to resort to their first-stringer. Enjoy watching the Oakland game, America. You poor bastards. [The506]...
Tim Tebow Lives!
His headache is gone so the big guy will likely play tonight against LSU. Will he start or arrive by parachute in the fourth quarter for added chills? [Times-Union]...
Run For Your Life At The Baltimore Marathon!
Today's Baltimore Marathon route passed with one block of 13 different crime scenes where city residents were murdered in 2009. Alphonce Yatich from Kenya and Iulia Arkhipova from Kyrgyzstan were the only survivors. [Baltimore Sun via Bob's Blitz]...
Was This A Missed Field Goal?
Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator Rob Ryan is making a big, passive-aggressive stink about the 31-yard kick you see here, the Bengals' game-winner over the Browns on Sunday. Alleged game-winner....
The One Where Jared Allen Shows He Can Croon
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....