ti Page 1835 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Donte' Stallworth Signs With Ravens
But 59-year-old Mario Reyes is still dead. Peter King reports....

Last Night's Winner: True Love
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just better than others. Like Shawne Merriman and Tila Tequila who settled their mutual lawsuits against each other. I always knew those kids' lawyers would work it out someday....

Raiders Taking "Football" Literally
Oakland made Sebastian Janikowski the highest-paid kicker, to go along with their punter's record deal. Because when you can't score and can't stop anyone from scoring, might as well throw money at special teams. [Oakland Tribune]...

Always The Bridesmaid, Never The Bronze
You know how athletes' repetitive actions eventually become muscle memory? It's like that for Daniela Anschütz-Thoms and that dejected, hunched-over pose. You see, Daniela has a nasty habit of coming in fourth....

Tiger's Porn Mistress Claims Golfer Was Not A Fan Of Contraception
Veronica Siwik-Daniels a.k.a "Joslyn James" a.k.a. "Mistress #4,567" claims Tiger impregnated her twice during their earnest love-making sessions in Vegas hotel rooms. However, Radar reports she's a horrible, untrustworthy mom so you should be skeptical of her abortion stories....

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has A Question For His Golf Partner: "When Was Your Last Blow Job?"
Via Wei Under Par comes this amusing tale of golfing with the California governor, who apparently behaves as coarsely on the links as he does, well, everywhere else....

Budding O's Star Gets Injured In Commercial Shoot. Of Course He Does.
PECOTA's predictions had three different teams winning the AL East, as the formula was revised. The Orioles were not among the three. A story like this, which could only happen to a few teams, is a good reason why....

Oprah Winfrey Mistakes Drew Brees' Birthmark For Lipstick
"Who just kissed you?" she asked. "God," he should have said, before punching her. [Sporting Blog]...

Katie Spotz's Fascinating Online Rowboat Journey
The Awl introduces us to Katie Spotz's fantastic blog, chronicling her quest to become the youngest person ever to row across the Atlantic Ocean....

HBO's <i>How To Make It In America</i> is Like a Free Drink at an Art Opening
Meaning, awesome. This Valentine's Day, grab your girlfriend or your girlfriend pillow and tune in to HBO for the premiere of How To Make It In America, a show about two 20-somethings hustling to make it in downtown NYC. Check out the trailer!...

NCAA Waits For Tebow To Leave Before Considering Rule That Would Affect Tebow
They're mulling over a rule that would ban words and designs from eye black. So players will now have to "go away by themself, shut the door behind them, and pray to their Father in private." [AP/Matthew 6:6]...

Because Winning And Staying Out Of Jail Were Getting Boring In Cincy
Troubled receiver Matt Jones will join the Troubled Bengals, who are also working out troubled corner Pacman Jones. And of course, T.O. rumors persist. Someone tell Mike Brown that "Hard Knocks" won't put the same team on twice. [Cincinnati Enquirer]...

Last Night's Winner: Whatever Passes For Roy Williams's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the little man on Roy Williams's shoulder, who prevailed upon the coach to say he's very, very sorry....

Godwin's Law Strikes The SI Swimsuit Issue
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sepp Blatter Trafficks In Swinging Stereotypes
FIFA's president: "This is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries. If this had happened in let's say Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded." No, in the Latin countries, this would have been mandatory. [Evening Standard]...

Rey Maualuga Feels Up A Dwarf: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Rick Pitino Dismisses Reports He Will Soon Be Doing His Humping On The Floors Of New Jersey Diners
The New York Daily News reported this morning that the priapic Boy Genius had "intermediaries" contact the Nets to express his interest in the team's coaching job. Pitino managed to deny the story without referencing 9/11 once. Good for him....

Mike & Mike Would Like To Make Your Valentine's Day Miserable
After 20 emails, ESPN readers are confused as to why Golic and Greenberg are trying to coax them into entering a contest for a chance to win, what appears to be, two snakes 69-ing on top of a diamond. [ESPN.com]...

Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....

Roddickless: Even <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Prefers Brooklyn Decker To Her Husband
We learned yesterday that Brooklyn Decker, who doesn't play a sport, has now appeared on more Sports Illustrated covers than her husband, Andy Roddick, who occasionally plays a sport very well....