ti Page 2057 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't?...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Baseball America's John Manuel: Come on ESPN, you're not even trying! Send stat geek packing and bring on a lesbian cheerleader, or Greg Gall. • 3 p.m. Bowl Games with Beano Cook: So it's come to this — weekday afternoon compute...
Ma Sweets Will Punch You In The Mouth
What kind of woman would raise a man who would wear a costume like this? What kind of woman could raise such a spawn?...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NFL with Len Pasquarelli: It should have been a tipoff when Bush called the Vikings on Saturday and said: "You're doing a heckuva job, Ticey." Or did we use that joke already? • 1 p.m. College Football with Pat Forde: Why aren't ...
Laura Quinn Gives Us A Fiesta Of Pain
Thoughts while watching about three hundred shots of Brady Quinn's sister, Laura, during the Fiesta Bowl last night: 1. We kind of miss that TV show, Xena, Warrior Princess. 2. We thought A.J. Hawk was some sort of famous skateboarder. Apparently we're confused. 3. Brent Musberger is still al...
Saying Goodbye To Tice (And Others)
The grand tradition of the day after the NFL season came through in full force this year: Six NFL coaches were relieved from their duties on "Black Monday." One of them, Dick Vermeil — who is about to be played by Greg Kinnear in a new movie — retired, but everyone else went down like a sack of so...
Southeast Jerome In Heaven With Friends
OK, so as we showed you yesterday, Clinton Portis brought along some pals for his press conference yesterday. The conceit was that Southeast Jerome — who had been previously considered "lost" — had died and made it to heaven with all his friends. They included:...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Mid-Majors with K.Whelliston: Bally, you little orange bastard! You stole my wife! Damn you and your charms! Prepare to die! • 3 p.m. Bracketology with Joe Lunardi: A 128-team NCAA Basketball Tournament bracket, with eight reg...
Clinton Portis And His New Friends
We'll get into this more tomorrow ... but if you go to Redskins.com right now, you'll see that our man Clinton Portis has, uh, brought a few friends along for his weekly psychological exploration....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NBA with Chad Ford: Your last Draft Board had more mistakes than a Princeton application filled out by a monkey. Planning on doing some research for the next one? • 1 p.m. Men's BB with Andy Katz: Just saw your column mug, and I ...
The Trophy Monstrosity
Via TrojanWire and Every Day Should Be Saturday, we present the trophy given to the winner of the Fiesta Bowl this year. That's really it. This isn't actual size, but oh, if it were....
They Must Draw 6,000 Fans, Or God Will Call Them Home
So we were watching the Illini's 89-64 victory over Southeast Missouri State last night — we have the ESPN Full Court package; you honestly do not want to know how much money we give that network — and when it was over, we flipped around the other games. It was a bad Full Court night; nothing but ...
Palmeiro Gets His Family Circus On
Remember during the steroid trials, when Sammy Sosa inexplicably forgot how to speak english? Rafael Palmeiro, albeit a few months late, apparently is trying to same tactic....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Men's BB with Chris Dortch: The Blue Ribbon College Basketball Yearbook, how quaint. Next we'll be using circular dial telephones and wearing bell bottom pants. • 3 p.m. Bowls with Beano: If they have cooking shows in hell, I ima...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Fantasy Football Focus: The current was running too swiftly to allow the river to be searched. All that was found on the bridge above was a pair of shoes, a wristwatch and a faded photograph of Bears quarterback Kyle Orton. • 1...
Elsewhere...
• College Basketball: Detroit 48, Louisville 56. "I'm not pleased with our improvement," Louisville head coach Rick Pitino said after the game. Hey, ya think? Meanwhile, this may be the best thing to happen to Detroit basketball since Dick Vitale left to take an NBA job in 1978. • Rugby: Stade Fra...
Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• San Diego 7, Kansas City 20. So, what did you use for pregame motivation, Marty, the tape of Jim Mora screaming, "PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?!" I feel much pain. • Buffalo 37, Cincinnati 27. Rough day for Chad Johnson. First, someone stole his reindeer (I HATE YOU, whoever it was), and then, they lose to ...
Someone Stole Chad Johnson's Reindeer
Never will you see someone who just scored a touchdown walk to the sidelines with such dejection. Chad Johnson took one to the house against Buffalo, but could not find his reindeer afterwards....
Raef Lafrentz's Silent Dance
In the mood for some psychedelic hip-hop about the Boston Celtics? Who isn't? It's our lucky day....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. MLB with Rob Neyer: One day, when robots rule the earth and mankind's need for creative thought is nothing but a distant notion, your books will be considered our greatest literature. • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Loved the ...