ti Page 2058 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Portis Now Getting Costume From Garage Sales
Just for the record, yesterday Redskins running back Clinton Portis wore a old leather football helmet, pigtails and Groucho Marx glasses. He called himself "Inspector Two Two." We have no idea what any of this means anymore. At this point, he's just cleaning out the neighbor's closet. In the fin...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 12:45 p.m. Detroit Pistons G Carlos Arroyo: I am the only person I know who has all 57 Carlos Arroyo wallpapers, which I downloaded from your website. Also, I have 34 cats, many of them named Skippy. • 2 p.m. NHL with Barry Melrose: OK...

End Of Days For Quin Snyder
Well, OK, we're back in brittle, frighteningly cold South Central Illinois right now — where, unlike, New York, we at least didn't have to walk to work — and we watched that Illini destruction of Missouri last night. It was so brutal that we took less joy in the victory than sympathy for Missouri,...

Back Home For Braggin' Rights
Every family has its tradition over the holidays, and this is ours: We go back to our hometown of Mattoon, Illinois to watch the annual Busch Braggin' Rights college basketball game between our beloved Illini and the Missouri Tigers. It might seem silly to those weaned on the opposite coasts, but ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 3 p.m. NBA with Bill Walton: I understand that after the Patriot Act expires on Dec. 31, the U.S. will no longer be allowed to let detainees listen to your broadcast commentary. • 4 p.m. Two-Way with Stu Scott: Sweet Lord, is this what...

Sweet Lord, Let Him Not Be Kidding
Last week, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson disappointed us — and pretty much every sports fan we know — by scoring a touchdown and simply handing the ball back to the ref....

The Story Of The Lucky Garbageman
We know we're getting a little soccer-heavy on you today, but bear with us: This is a good story....

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Ticey
Imagine, if you will, Ron Artest blasting fans for getting in fights, or Damon Stoudamire organizing a protest against High Times, or Fred Smoot screaming at those who would use contraptions to "please" two women who happened to be lying prostrate on the deck of a boat. Hypothetically speaking....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NFL with Len Pasquarelli: Aren't you a little too bloated to be criticizing Michael Vick like that? • 12:30 p.m. D.Weatherford and W.Reid: Tell the truth — you guys forced some tech geeks from your dorm to type your answers, didn...

Ben Troupe Will Do Anything For His Teammate
Well, we're two months in, so we suppose CBS Sportsline's rad, dope, duuuude "SPiN" section was due for a worthwhile story. Though it's not the same since they made E-Mack! go back to his Christian name. And this morning, we have to admit, they've got one: All respect....

Get Some King Of Kings Bling
What to get this holiday season for the Christian sports fan who wants to look cool to the kids on the street but doesn't want to have to subscribe to the secular aesthetic of today's modern athlete?...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. WCBB With Mechelle Voepel: What is this "women's college basketball" you speak of? • 2 p.m. ESPN Recruiting Insider: Here's a tip — to put a little pizzazz back into your sex life, ask your wife to "time you in the 40." • 4 p.m...

NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...

To Watch Tonight...
• NFL. Atlanta @ Chicago. If you'd like to watch a quality football game sometime over the next 36 hours, I suggest you enjoy this one. The Monday Night game is Baltimore vs. Green Bay. • NHL. San Jose @ Anaheim. It's always fun when Original Six teams go at it. Wait, San Jose and Anaheim weren't Or...

Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...

FIRE MILLEN
Sorry about the headline, I just felt left out. Everyone else is chanting it or holding a sign. I wanted to join the parade....

The Afternoon In College Hoops...
• #14 UCLA 68, Michigan 61. Jordan Farmar and Arron Afflalo both went over 20 for the Bruins, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, enemy of people who sew last names onto uniforms everywhere, had 9 rebounds off the bench. • Tennessee is currently throttling #7 Texas. I know it's only my second week doing...

Honoring Fantasy Football's Greatest
On the list of strange potential tourist attractions, we have to say, the upcoming Fantasy Football Hall of Fame has to be pretty high up there. Football Outsiders has the story of the new venture, which will be based in Pennsauken, N.J. (and we have to say, New Jersey seems like just the place, d...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. MLB with Buster Olney: So has Steinbrenner asked you to call Nomar Garciaparra yet? • 1 p.m. Mid-majors with Kyle Whelliston: What are the little green spots on your >College Basketball Today map? Public parks? Places where Bal...

Clinton Portis' Craziest Costume Yet
Other Clinton Portis costumes have been deep, terrifying glimpses into the most cavernous regions of his soul, a tiny peek at the scary child within, peering out into the world, hoping it's not raining anymore. But this, his most recent one, however, is the most horrifying at all: A monstrous look...