ti Page 957 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Restructured United Soccer League Apes Everything British, Except For What Matters
The levels of the American soccer pyramid are confusing, mostly because they are make-believe. Every level of the world’s real soccer pyramids are clearly numbered, linked with flights of stairs, and constantly shuffle teams up and down depending on the results of a clear and meritocratic process. A...
Kelly Bryant Decides To Transfer From Clemson, Calls Benching "A Slap In The Face"
Clemson senior quarterback Kelly Bryant announced Wednesday morning that he plans to transfer after recently being benched. He will depart the program after one full season of being the starter, though not without a bevy of weird comments to take with him from head coach Dabo Swinney. ...
Rick Reilly Confuses The Hell Out Of Justin Thomas With A Terrible Question
Serial self-plagiarizer and teeth-enthusiast Rick Reilly has, for some goddamn reason, made a return to the world of sports writing. He attended a press conference at the Ryder Cup today, and while Justin Thomas was on the dais, Rick turned on that classic charm we all know and love:...
Everyone Thank The Marlins For Making The NL Playoff Race Fun
Things are getting hot in the National League in the final days of the season. After last night’s results, here’s how things stand: The Brewers lead the wild-card race and are a half-game back of the Cubs in the central division; the Rockies are a half-game back of the Dodgers out west and now hold ...
Max Scherzer Just Keeps Making History
Max Scherzer struck out 10 Marlins over seven innings of one-run ball Tuesday night to earn his 18th win of the season. The 10 strikeouts brought Scherzer to an even 300 on the season, the highest season total of Scherzer’s prolific career and just the 36th 300-strikeout season in the majors since 1...
Assault Charges Against Roberto Osuna Have Been Dropped
Astros relief pitcher Roberto Osuna’s domestic assault charge, which was brought by Toronto police back in May, has been dropped today with Osuna’s agreement to a “peace bond,” which will see him continue counseling and prevents him from contacting the victim in the case for the next 12 months....
![Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/sgoqrmndv4jbkpbqn5zr.jpg)
Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]
Here we have the latest depressing update on the great and greatly unlucky career of American-born Italian phenom, Giuseppe Rossi: The striker has tested positive for a banned substance in Italy and faces a one-year ban from the game....
Khris Davis Made His MVP Case
This wasn’t supposed to happen. The Astros were the reigning World Series champions, the Mariners were considered a real contender. The A’s, meanwhile, were “rebuilding.” They weren’t supposed to be good even when they had a Major League–caliber pitching rotation, and then projected Opening Day star...
Thibs Is Still Working On Jimmy Butler
Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor is turning up the heat on Scott Layden and Tom Thibodeau to move quickly on a deal to move a disgruntled Jimmy Butler out of town. But that doesn’t mean Thibodeau is ready to abandon the zombie Bulls project just yet—according to Woj, Thibs is staying after Butler whil...
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...
The Athletic Has Stirred Up A Cleveland Sports Media Feud
The Athletic poached a basketball writer from Cleveland.com, prompting the site’s Editor-In-Chief to send a since-leaked internal emailing shitting on The Athletic, prompting the editor from a rival Cleveland site, Clevescene.com, to write a post shitting on Cleveland.com, prompting me to slurp up a...
Report: Comerica Park Employee In Police Custody After Spitting On Pizza
A food services employee at Comerica Park, where the Detroit Tigers attempt to play professional baseball, is reportedly in police custody after another employee posted a video on Instagram of him spitting on the beginnings of a pizza while working at a concession stand....
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
Conservative D.C. Is A Bunch Of Weird-As-Hell Nationals Fans
There’s no reason to know who Ben Hobbs is. He’s one of the anonymous ideology droids that fill Washington D.C.’s less-interesting condominiums, pad out its cocktail parties, and ensure that its steakhouse banquettes never get cold. When Republicans are in power, he will work in government; when the...
Jaguars Junction: Week Three
Blaine Gabbert. Blake Bortles. Bart Orglesby. Benet Brahmstocker-Quivit. This is: The Big Boys, of Football (NFL). ...
Tiger Woods Wins First Tournament Since 2013
With a score of -11 after the final day of play on Sunday, Tiger Woods earned himself a two-stroke win in the Tour Championship, the final individual tournament of this season’s PGA calendar. It was his first tournament win since the 2013 WGC-Bridgestone Invitational, with a lifetime’s worth of heal...
At Least One Minnesota Timberwolves Star Doesn't Have A Problem With Commitment
While they’re still in the midst of figuring out what to do with malcontented soon-to-be free agent Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves at least made a bit of good news this weekend, locking up their long-term franchise guy for the foreseeable future. Karl-Anthony Towns, a man who has been indi...
Timberwolves Owner Is Willing To Trade Jimmy Butler Himself If Tom Thibodeau<em></em> Won't
About eight hours after reporting that the Minnesota Timberwolves were rejecting any and all trade offers for four-time All-Star Jimmy Butler, Woj went ahead and dropped another bomb on the timeline that showed just how dysfunctional the Timberwolves are....
MLB Is Back On Its Bullshit In The Addison Russell Case
In June of last year, Melisa Reidy-Russell, ex-wife of Cubs shortstop Addison Russell, wrote on Instagram about being cheated on and lied to. A friend left a comment on the same post saying that Reidy-Russell had been physically and mentally abused. Soon afterward, Reidy-Russell applied for a divorc...
Get That Weak Shit Out Of Tom Thibodeau's Face, Or He Might Just, Uh, Keep Jimmy Butler
The Minnesota meltdown continues, in dribs and drabs, and the framing of the latest Woj Bomb over at ESPN is extremely enjoyable. Just have a nibble from the first three grafs:...