ti Page 993 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brett Kavanaugh Really, Really Likes Beer
Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh spoke many words at today’s confirmation hearings. Probably you know this already, but his opening statement, and the responses that followed, were an overlong fever dream, taking surreal detours into calendar hygiene, workouts with some now-legendary Tobin, his...
The Horror On TV
That all of this—the unalloyed and dovetailing lust for power of one white male sociopath and the aggregate of white men, the future of the highest judicial body in the country, that country’s total failure to assign any kind of consequence to sexual violence, America’s marrow-deep hatred and fear a...
The Baltimore Orioles Have Been Even Worse Than They Look
In 2005, the Baltimore Orioles shocked the world with a 42-28 start, good enough to keep them in first place in the AL East into mid-summer. This was before Rafael Palmeiro, fresh off his 3000th hit, lied to Congress and tested positive for steroids; before ostensible ace Sidney Ponson was arrested ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Told He CANNOT Play Against Young Boys<em></em>
Young Boys can rest easy, knowing that this menace has been forbidden from going at them....
Rishard Matthews Asks For Release From Titans After They Just Sorta Stopped Throwing To Him
Veteran wideout Rishard Matthews, who led the Tennessee Titans’ WR corps in both catches and yards in each of the last two seasons, has been nearly invisible this year. He had missed some preseason time recovering from knee surgery, but he says he’s “100 percent healthy,” and it’s not like he’s been...
If This Really Was Bryce Harper's Last Home Game As A National, VICTOR ROBLES VICTOR ROBLES
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who get misty while reading about Bryce Harper walking around in his uniform more than three hours before what could be his last home game as a National, and those who have no time for sentimentality because they’re too busy drooling over what Victor...
Pablo Fornals Might Have Just Scored The Goal Of The Season
They only just gave out the FIFA award for best goal of the season on Monday, and we already have a solid candidate for next year’s edition. Behold, the wondergoal of Pablo Fornals of Villarreal:...
![Boxer Victor Ortiz Turns Himself In On Rape Charges [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pe517dxqxdh4jiasm7vk.jpg)
Boxer Victor Ortiz Turns Himself In On Rape Charges [Update]
Boxer Victor Ortiz, who has been charged with multiple counts of sexual assault, including “forcible rape,” turned himself in Tuesday, as the Ventura County Star first reported....
Restructured United Soccer League Apes Everything British, Except For What Matters
The levels of the American soccer pyramid are confusing, mostly because they are make-believe. Every level of the world’s real soccer pyramids are clearly numbered, linked with flights of stairs, and constantly shuffle teams up and down depending on the results of a clear and meritocratic process. A...
Kelly Bryant Decides To Transfer From Clemson, Calls Benching "A Slap In The Face"
Clemson senior quarterback Kelly Bryant announced Wednesday morning that he plans to transfer after recently being benched. He will depart the program after one full season of being the starter, though not without a bevy of weird comments to take with him from head coach Dabo Swinney. ...
Rick Reilly Confuses The Hell Out Of Justin Thomas With A Terrible Question
Serial self-plagiarizer and teeth-enthusiast Rick Reilly has, for some goddamn reason, made a return to the world of sports writing. He attended a press conference at the Ryder Cup today, and while Justin Thomas was on the dais, Rick turned on that classic charm we all know and love:...
Everyone Thank The Marlins For Making The NL Playoff Race Fun
Things are getting hot in the National League in the final days of the season. After last night’s results, here’s how things stand: The Brewers lead the wild-card race and are a half-game back of the Cubs in the central division; the Rockies are a half-game back of the Dodgers out west and now hold ...
Max Scherzer Just Keeps Making History
Max Scherzer struck out 10 Marlins over seven innings of one-run ball Tuesday night to earn his 18th win of the season. The 10 strikeouts brought Scherzer to an even 300 on the season, the highest season total of Scherzer’s prolific career and just the 36th 300-strikeout season in the majors since 1...
Assault Charges Against Roberto Osuna Have Been Dropped
Astros relief pitcher Roberto Osuna’s domestic assault charge, which was brought by Toronto police back in May, has been dropped today with Osuna’s agreement to a “peace bond,” which will see him continue counseling and prevents him from contacting the victim in the case for the next 12 months....
![Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/sgoqrmndv4jbkpbqn5zr.jpg)
Giuseppe Rossi Faces One-Year Ban After Failed Doping Test [Update]
Here we have the latest depressing update on the great and greatly unlucky career of American-born Italian phenom, Giuseppe Rossi: The striker has tested positive for a banned substance in Italy and faces a one-year ban from the game....
Khris Davis Made His MVP Case
This wasn’t supposed to happen. The Astros were the reigning World Series champions, the Mariners were considered a real contender. The A’s, meanwhile, were “rebuilding.” They weren’t supposed to be good even when they had a Major League–caliber pitching rotation, and then projected Opening Day star...
Thibs Is Still Working On Jimmy Butler
Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor is turning up the heat on Scott Layden and Tom Thibodeau to move quickly on a deal to move a disgruntled Jimmy Butler out of town. But that doesn’t mean Thibodeau is ready to abandon the zombie Bulls project just yet—according to Woj, Thibs is staying after Butler whil...
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...
The Athletic Has Stirred Up A Cleveland Sports Media Feud
The Athletic poached a basketball writer from Cleveland.com, prompting the site’s Editor-In-Chief to send a since-leaked internal emailing shitting on The Athletic, prompting the editor from a rival Cleveland site, Clevescene.com, to write a post shitting on Cleveland.com, prompting me to slurp up a...
Report: Comerica Park Employee In Police Custody After Spitting On Pizza
A food services employee at Comerica Park, where the Detroit Tigers attempt to play professional baseball, is reportedly in police custody after another employee posted a video on Instagram of him spitting on the beginnings of a pizza while working at a concession stand....