ti Page 994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...

Conservative D.C. Is A Bunch Of Weird-As-Hell Nationals Fans
There’s no reason to know who Ben Hobbs is. He’s one of the anonymous ideology droids that fill Washington D.C.’s less-interesting condominiums, pad out its cocktail parties, and ensure that its steakhouse banquettes never get cold. When Republicans are in power, he will work in government; when the...

Jaguars Junction: Week Three
Blaine Gabbert. Blake Bortles. Bart Orglesby. Benet Brahmstocker-Quivit. This is: The Big Boys, of Football (NFL). ...

Tiger Woods Wins First Tournament Since 2013
With a score of -11 after the final day of play on Sunday, Tiger Woods earned himself a two-stroke win in the Tour Championship, the final individual tournament of this season’s PGA calendar. It was his first tournament win since the 2013 WGC-Bridgestone Invitational, with a lifetime’s worth of heal...

At Least One Minnesota Timberwolves Star Doesn't Have A Problem With Commitment
While they’re still in the midst of figuring out what to do with malcontented soon-to-be free agent Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves at least made a bit of good news this weekend, locking up their long-term franchise guy for the foreseeable future. Karl-Anthony Towns, a man who has been indi...

Timberwolves Owner Is Willing To Trade Jimmy Butler Himself If Tom Thibodeau<em></em> Won't
About eight hours after reporting that the Minnesota Timberwolves were rejecting any and all trade offers for four-time All-Star Jimmy Butler, Woj went ahead and dropped another bomb on the timeline that showed just how dysfunctional the Timberwolves are....

MLB Is Back On Its Bullshit In The Addison Russell Case
In June of last year, Melisa Reidy-Russell, ex-wife of Cubs shortstop Addison Russell, wrote on Instagram about being cheated on and lied to. A friend left a comment on the same post saying that Reidy-Russell had been physically and mentally abused. Soon afterward, Reidy-Russell applied for a divorc...

Get That Weak Shit Out Of Tom Thibodeau's Face, Or He Might Just, Uh, Keep Jimmy Butler
The Minnesota meltdown continues, in dribs and drabs, and the framing of the latest Woj Bomb over at ESPN is extremely enjoyable. Just have a nibble from the first three grafs:...

Brett Kavanaugh Is <em></em>A Man The Right Can Get Behind
Shit’s real weird now....

Cristiano Ronaldo's Sister On Red Card: "They Want To Destroy My Brother, But God Never Sleeps"
Cristiano Ronaldo’s sister Katia Aveiro, who previously said that people who vandalized a statue of her brother on their home island of Madeira should be exiled to Syria, has defended her brother on social media again. This time, she did so after he was sent off in Juventus’s Champions League match...

Blog Linked From Addison Russell’s Ex-Wife’s Instagram Alleges Physical And Emotional Abuse<em></em>
An Instagram account that belongs to Melisa Reidy-Russell, the ex-wife of Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell, added a link to its bio late Thursday. The link leads to a blog post describing years of physical and emotional abuse by an unnamed former spouse. ...

Add "Not Getting Ejected" To List Of Bryce Harper's Missed Goals For 2018
It’s been a shit year for Bryce Harper, measured against expectations, and even aside from the Nationals being an even bigger disappointment than usual. He came on in the second half, but he’s still gonna finish the year batting around or below .250, and with a growing reputation as a guy who can be...

Angels' Francisco Arcia Makes Baseball History In Demoralizing Ass-Whupping
History was made in Thursday afternoon’s Angels-Athletics game. Surprisingly, it was not made by the Athletics, who beat the absolute shit out of the Angels by the football score of 21–3. No, it was made by Francisco Arcia of the Angels, who became the first MLB player ever to pitch, catch, and smo...

How <i>Golf Digest</i> Started A Movement To Free A Man Wrongfully Convicted Of Murder
Golf Digest is not a political publication. Recent stories include “2018 Ryder Cup frequently asked questions” and “Web.com Tour introduces the Evans Scholars Invitational to schedule, with all proceeds aiding caddies’ college scholarships.” Many of the cover lines in the monthly print issue are ab...

Oakland A's Fans Love Their Team, But Don't Trust Its Owners
Sixteen games into the Oakland A’s historic 20-game win streak back in 2002, Mike Davie realized how cheap team ownership truly was....

Even Lauri Markkanen Is Popping In For The Timberwolves' Meltdown
Lauri Markkanen, who was drafted at No. 7 by the Timberwolves last year only to be shipped off to Chicago in the Jimmy Butler deal, seems awfully nostalgic about that moment today....

Tottenham's New Stadium Construction Sounds Like A Nightmare
Tottenham Hotspur played last season at Wembley Stadium while its brand new, state-of-the-art home stadium was under construction. It wasn’t ideal, but it was supposed to have paid off when the new park opened this month for Spurs’ Premier League game against Liverpool. That didn’t happen, as last w...

The Fake Ban On Russia's State-Run Doping System Is Over
In 2015, the World Anti-Doping Agency suspended Russia’s national anti-doping agency in the face of overwhelming evidence that the government was running a sophisticated doping operation for its top athletes. As of today—despite Russia’s failure to meet the basic conditions of its suspension, and ou...

The Time Dave McKenna Converted His Son From Katy Perry To Minor Threat
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....

Timberwolves Drama Turns Into Spicy Internet Beef Somehow Featuring Stephen Jackson
You’re going to have to put a little effort into keeping up, here, because it involves multiple different social media platforms, and I am getting too old for this shit....