ti Page 995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mariners Turn Triple Play After Evan Gattis Forgets How Many Outs There Are
The Mariners fortuitously escaped a jam in the fourth inning against the Astros today when Houston’s Evan Gattis made a Little League-level mistake and forgot how many outs there were, gifting Seattle a triple play....

MMA Announcer Fucks Up Fight Decision Not Once, But Twice In The Span Of 15 Seconds<em></em>
David Booker won a decision against Elijah Terrell last night at regional MMA event Alaska Fighting Championship 139, which was good news for him. The bad news was that he only learned that he’d won after riding a true emotional roller coaster. The announcer at last night’s fights pulled a rare doub...

Boston's Weather Broke Scores Of Elite Runners, But Not Old Man Abdi Abdirahman
Despite miserable weather, 95 percent of of the 27,042 common folk who started Monday’s Boston Marathon eventually crossed the finish line. The whippets up front proved less stalwart: two-thirds of the elite men’s field dropped out. One who didn’t was 41-year-old Tucson resident, Abdi Abdirahman. H...

Soccer Player Tries To Beat His Manager's Ass For Subbing Him Out Of Game
We’ve all seen players stomp off the pitch in barely suppressed anger after their manager has subbed them out of a game. A far less common sight is a player communicating his post-subbing displeasure by walking off the pitch and straight over to the coach and attempting to kick his ass:...

Horrendously Sucky Reds Fire Bryan Price After 3-15 Start
The Cincinnati Reds and Kansas City Royals have each won three games this season. Royals manager Ned Yost earned some slack since he’s three years removed from winning the World Series. Reds manager Bryan Price ... said the word “fuck” 77 times after losing a game in 2015. The team fired him today....

Arike Ogunbowale's Appearance On <i>Dancing With The Stars </i>Will Be A "Personal Growth Experience" To Fit Dumb NCAA Rules<em></em>
College basketball legend and Notre Dame rising senior Arike Ogunbowale is set to appear on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars beginning in just under two weeks. But because Ogunbowale still plays for Notre Dame and is thus considered an NCAA athlete even on summer break, there are at lea...

Seriously, What The Hell Are The Minnesota Timberwolves Doing?
In Game 1 of the Rockets-Timberwolves series, the eighth-seeded Wolves lost in no small part because they inexplicably froze their two best players, Jimmy Butler and Karl-Anthony Towns, out of the offense. Game 2 was last night, and the Rockets won, 102-82. Here are some stats from that, courtesy of...

Scottie Pippen Wants His Stolen Tractors Back
Authorities suspect a thief stole two tractors with a total worth of $50,000 from Basketball Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen’s farm in Arkansas last month, according to the sheriff’s office. The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette had the scoop:...

Q&A: Des Linden Explains How She Won The Boston Marathon
On Monday, Des Linden became the first American woman to win the Boston Marathon in 33 years. For the 34-year-old Linden, her Boston title represents a long-awaited prize after coming up agonizingly short may times over—placing second at Boston in 2011 by two seconds, numerous top-10 finishes, and n...

Idiot On The Pitch Tries To Tackle Ref, Fails
Oldham Athletic was playing a match against Rochdale AFC Tuesday when the referee signaled a penalty for Rochdale after a trip in the box. One Oldham fan did what any sensible person would in that situation: He ran onto the pitch and tried to tackle the referee....

José Bautista Reaches "Playing Third Base For The Braves In The Minors" Stage Of His Career
Poor José Bautista. The former Blue Jays slugger had six straight All-Star campaigns for the Jays and banged out one of the most iconic playoff home runs of the decade. But instead of settling into the second or third year of one last long-term contract, the 37-year-old has wound up in the Braves’ i...

Twins Minor-Leaguer Pulls Off The Hidden-Ball Trick
Bases-loaded jams can be tense, but Jermaine Curtis of the Rochester Red Wings found it to be the best opportunity to clown a baserunner. The Twins’ Triple-A affiliate was down 4-3 to the Charlotte Knights in the fourth inning Tuesday when Curtis tested out the hidden-ball trick on Kevan Smith, who ...

Here's The Story Behind The Oafish Pro-Trump Ad That Ran During The NHL Playoffs Last Night
Virtually any day of the year, there is no real reason why you or anyone else should be watching CNBC. If you are someone who follows or cares about financial news, you really probably shouldn’t be watching television to keep up with it. If you are someone who likes watching a bunch of gray-faced ol...

Eric Bledsoe On The Guy Currently Beating His Ass: "I Don't Even Know Who The Fuck That Is"
Bucks point guard Eric Bledsoe has not played very well in his team’s first two playoff games against the Boston Celtics, and his squad is now down 0-2 in the series. Bledsoe is shooting just 36 percent from the field in the series, and has been thoroughly outplayed by Boston’s backup-turned-startin...

Suddenly, Jaylen Brown Is The Celtics' New Leader
The Boston Celtics are generally broken and injured for this year’s playoffs, but after a 120-106 win to take a 2-0 series lead over the Bucks, they’re in prime position to survive at least the first round. And for both of the Celtics’ wins so far in the postseason, they owe a huge debt to Jaylen Br...

The Mets Previewed A Dark, Mets-y Future Last Night
The New York Mets entered Monday night’s game against the Nationals with the National League’s best record, its sturdiest bullpen, and a way-too-early-to-matter 36 percent chance of winning their division. They carried a 6-1 lead into the eighth, then sent their fans home feeling awful thanks to the...

The Weather At The Boston Marathon Overwhelmed The World's Best Distance Runners
The men’s and women’s races at Monday’s Boston Marathon were won by two of the unlikeliest people. Desi Linden was the first American woman to win Boston since the race became fully professional in 1986; the men’s race was won by Yuki Kawauchi, who isn’t really a professional. (He has a full-time go...

Bryce Harper Delivers Sweet, Sweet Broken-Bat Home Run
Bryce Harper entered today with a major-league leading seven home runs, and he didn’t waste any time in boosting that total tonight. In the first inning of this evening’s game against the New York Mets, he took a Jacob deGrom fastball deep—and broke his bat at the same time, leaving him clutching ju...

Please Enjoy 84 Seconds Of The <i>American Ninja Warrior</i> Broadcast Team Losing Their Shit
The old institutions slouch and rot and tip towards collapse; the culture turns inward, agoraphobic and sleepless and helplessly in thrall to rancid idle fantasies of violence or narcotic visions of capitulation and release; the people in charge loot and lie and then go blank and soft before the ima...

ROH Wrestling's Biggest Show Ever Is In The Books. So Now What?
Numerous stories played out in parallel during WrestleMania weekend in New Orleans, and the fact that there was more going on than any one person could process was, as always, a big part of the fun. Few of those stories had more history or more potential future significance than the one that unfolde...