tim Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ass Team Of The Week: The Ravens Won The Ass-Off
Listen, any doo-doo team can go out there and get the shit kicked out of them by the Rams or the Chiefs. The truest expressions of buttness tend to happen when one meaty cheek meets another, combining to form one giant Voltron ass with a stink that envelopes the whole game. On Sunday the Baltimore R...
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
The Jimmy Butler Trade Saga Has Entered The Realm Of Farce
For a team that reportedly doesn’t actually want to trade disgruntled star Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves sure seem intent on wasting everybody’s time. The Ringer’s Kevin O’Connor reported that Minnesota asked for Ben Simmons from Philadelphia, which is not ever a thing that’s going to hap...
The Baltimore Orioles Have Been Even Worse Than They Look
In 2005, the Baltimore Orioles shocked the world with a 42-28 start, good enough to keep them in first place in the AL East into mid-summer. This was before Rafael Palmeiro, fresh off his 3000th hit, lied to Congress and tested positive for steroids; before ostensible ace Sidney Ponson was arrested ...
Thibs Is Still Working On Jimmy Butler
Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor is turning up the heat on Scott Layden and Tom Thibodeau to move quickly on a deal to move a disgruntled Jimmy Butler out of town. But that doesn’t mean Thibodeau is ready to abandon the zombie Bulls project just yet—according to Woj, Thibs is staying after Butler whil...
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
At Least One Minnesota Timberwolves Star Doesn't Have A Problem With Commitment
While they’re still in the midst of figuring out what to do with malcontented soon-to-be free agent Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves at least made a bit of good news this weekend, locking up their long-term franchise guy for the foreseeable future. Karl-Anthony Towns, a man who has been indi...
Timberwolves Owner Is Willing To Trade Jimmy Butler Himself If Tom Thibodeau<em></em> Won't
About eight hours after reporting that the Minnesota Timberwolves were rejecting any and all trade offers for four-time All-Star Jimmy Butler, Woj went ahead and dropped another bomb on the timeline that showed just how dysfunctional the Timberwolves are....
Get That Weak Shit Out Of Tom Thibodeau's Face, Or He Might Just, Uh, Keep Jimmy Butler
The Minnesota meltdown continues, in dribs and drabs, and the framing of the latest Woj Bomb over at ESPN is extremely enjoyable. Just have a nibble from the first three grafs:...
Even Lauri Markkanen Is Popping In For The Timberwolves' Meltdown
Lauri Markkanen, who was drafted at No. 7 by the Timberwolves last year only to be shipped off to Chicago in the Jimmy Butler deal, seems awfully nostalgic about that moment today....
The Time Dave McKenna Converted His Son From Katy Perry To Minor Threat
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Timberwolves Drama Turns Into Spicy Internet Beef Somehow Featuring Stephen Jackson
You’re going to have to put a little effort into keeping up, here, because it involves multiple different social media platforms, and I am getting too old for this shit....
"League Sources" Say Karl-Anthony Towns Is A Donkey
All the reporting about the souring of the relationship between Jimmy Butler and the Timberwolves points to fit issues between Butler, Karl-Anthony Towns, and Andrew Wiggins. Butler’s “honest conversations” with Wolves brass led in short order to a trade request, and a list of preferred trade partne...
![Report: Jimmy Butler Wants Out Of Minnesota [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lqylp2y2xhxve5drmgjf.jpg)
Report: Jimmy Butler Wants Out Of Minnesota [Update]
Clearly all was not well in Minnesota. Via The Athletic’s Shams Charania and Jon Krawczynski, we can now see the full scope of that unwellness: Jimmy Butler, the Timberwolves’ star of the present, has asked to be traded, possibly due to conflict with their star of the future, or maybe it’s just Andr...
Orioles Rookie's First Career Base Hit Turns Into Ridiculous Clown Show<em></em>
The Orioles and Blue Jays are currently playing a series that has no significance whatsoever to the greater baseball universe. The only reason to have these games is so such-and-such youngster can get his first taste of life in the majors. In this case the youngster is Orioles rookie outfielder DJ S...
Orioles Catcher Caleb Joseph Wants All His Teammates To Think About How Badly They Suck
The Orioles have won 43 games this season. They’ve lost 107. They are tied with the 1988 team for most losses in franchise history. Given all this, it’d be bigger news if players weren’t talking about how much the team sucks, but catcher Caleb Joseph, who’s been with the organization since he was ...
All Is Not Well In Minnesota
Jimmy Butler helped the Minnesota Timberwolves improve their win total by a whopping 16 games from the 2016-2017 season to last season. Playing with one of the NBA’s most promising young big men and surrounded by, umm, a familiar cast of playoff-tested veterans, it would seem that Butler has landed ...
Tom Thibodeau Continues Collecting The Ghosts Of The 2012 Chicago Bulls
Luol Deng reportedly agreed this week to join the Minnesota Timberwolves, where he will be reunited with head coach Tom Thibodeau, who coached him for three plus seasons when both were in the Chicago Bulls organization. He will join Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler, and Taj Gibson in Minnesota, reuniting ...
Pitt Assistant Coach Says He Hasn't Left His Office Since Losing To Penn State, Prefers Flat Soda
Penn State trounced Pitt 51-6 last weekend, and nobody is taking that loss harder than Panthers tight ends coach Tim Salem. Fueled by a steady diet of carbonation-free, ice-cold chartreuse soda, Salem has spent the last few days in his office grinding non-stop. He hasn’t really slept at all, presuma...
FanSided, <i>Sports Illustrated's</i> Slimy Appendage, Reeks Of Exploitation
In 2015, Time Inc., the listing titan of 20th-century publishing, bought FanSided—a network of more than 300 sport- and team-centric blogs producing the sort of easily digestible and SEO-friendly posts that exist purely to show up near the top in Google searches—and attached it to their legacy publi...