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David Ortiz Clobbers 500th Home Run Of His Career
David Ortiz became the 27th member of the 500 home run club Saturday night, belting a solo shot off of Matt Moore in the 5th inning to right field. ...

Everton Whomp Chelsea Behind Steven Naismith Hat Trick
Nine minutes into Everton’s match against Chelsea, Muhamed Besic had to leave because of a hamstring injury. Normally, losing a starter less than ten minutes into the game is a bad thing. But not on this day. On this day Steven Naismith replaced Besic, and promptly did this: ...

What Does It Take To Get Photographers Into Sports Halls Of Fame?
The Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame is the most idiosyncratic of the major sports halls of fame, in part because its mission is to celebrate the game of basketball in its many incarnations, as opposed to just the NBA. That independent spirit is readily apparent this weekend, when Springfie...

Why Is ESPN Doing George W. Bush's Dirty Work For Him?
The ill-conceived remembrance is by now as much a 9/11 anniversary tradition as the insensitively branded 9/11 memorial tweet, but even by the degraded standards of the remember-when genre, today’s contributions by ESPN and Grantland are really out there....

Deadcast: The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
I know college football season is already underway, but it’s never, ever too late to comb through the Top 25 and say horrible, awful, remarkably ignorant things about every team and fanbase. That’s right, fuckos. It’s time once again for the Hater’s Guide to the Top 25, now in convenient Deadcast fo...

What Exactly Happened With The Steelers' Headsets?
The Pittsburgh Steelers struggled with communication problems in the first half of their 28-21 loss at New England Thursday night, with their coach-to-coach headset system echoing the Patriots’ radio broadcast for most of the first half. Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin told reporters of the headset ...

The NFL Is Back: Welcome To Your Steelers-Patriots Liveblog
The Steelers and Patriots play the first game of the season tonight. Come hang out as we watch meaningful football....

The NYPD Sting That Wrongly Arrested James Blake Seems Like A Huge Mess
NYPD Commissioner Bill Bratton has personally apologized to James Blake after an officer tackled and roughed up the former tennis pro outside his Manhattan hotel Wednesday, but more details are leaking about the identity theft sting that nabbed the wrong black guy, and it looks like a clusterfuck....

To Hell With Vox's Victorian-Living Idiots
Yesterday, Vox published a first-person essay detailing the anachronistic existence of two insufferably twee hipsters who live as if they were insufferably twee 19th-century urban gentry. Fuck these people....

Richard Gere's Homelessness Drama <i>Time Out Of Mind </i>Will Hit You Hard
1. New York City is obviously the central setting of thousands of movies, and, being New York City, it’s adept at serving as whatever backdrop you want it to serve. It can connote romance or menace, limitless possibility or untold decadence, Candyland or the Hellmouth. But, as someone who lived ther...

Why Is Floyd Mayweather Fighting A Nobody This Weekend?
Throughout most of his career, Elvis Presley was the highest paid performer in show business. He was managed by an old school flim-flam artist called Colonel Tom Parker, who passed himself off as a kind of Southern gentleman even though he was actually a Dutchman named van Kuijk. ...

How To Write A Note For Any Occasion
Writing a thank you note or trying to find the right words to let a friend who just lost his mom know you’re thinking of him is no one’s idea of a good time. But from time to time, most modern men will find themselves in a situation that calls for a handwritten note. ...

Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....

Here Are The Anti-NFL Letters Fans Sent The Ballghazi Judge
It’s one thing to yell and scream on the Internet; it’s another to take the time to address, stamp, and mail your anger to a federal judge. But that’s exactly what 21 people did to Judge Richard Berman, who presided over the brouhaha between the NFL and the player’s union regarding Tom Brady’s suspe...

Joey Votto Gets Tossed, Goes Berserk, Has To Be Held Back By Ump
The Reds may be approximately one million games out of the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean Joey Votto is mailing it in. In the middle of an at-bat during the 8th inning of tonight’s game against the Pirates, Votto was unhappy that home plate ump Bill Welke didn’t grant him time and/or made a bad str...

Here, Illustrated, Is Every Nats Fan
Take comfort in your friends....

A Layman's Guide To The New iPhones, And Apple's Other New Crap
Earlier today, Apple Inc., a failing novelty-watch interest based in California, announced a new range of products. You can claw through technical explanations of the tick-tock of every little thing, but this is a guide for everything normal people actually need to know....

College QBs Are Unprepared For The NFL
The Wall Street Journal has an interesting story on what some NFL coaches and executives consider a “crisis” over the future of the quarterback position: an increasing number of prospects, nurtured within the uptempo and spread offenses that are sweeping college football, who enter the league wholly...