to Page 1434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Georgetown Beats Louisville In Game That Was 24 Seconds Longer Than Regulation And Came Down To The Final Possession
Fifth-ranked Louisville dropped its third consecutive game today to Georgetown in what was a one-possession struggle for the final six minutes of action. Those final six minutes, strangely, were actually a bit more than that; the clock inexplicably stopped at 6:07 and stayed that way for 24.37 sec...

Terrifyingly Mean Ravens Safety Bernard Pollard Refuses To Wear Pants
That's according to the New York Times, which today published a brief profile of Bernard Pollard that may have been the result of an unpleasant encounter between Bernard Pollard and the author of the profile. Though the piece is at pains to point out that Pollard is "confident" and, according to a f...
![Rejoice: The New Mascot In The Washington Nationals' Presidents Race Is William Taft, Our Fattest And Sleepiest President [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18cp6zbk5fvosjpg.jpg)
Rejoice: The New Mascot In The Washington Nationals' Presidents Race Is William Taft, Our Fattest And Sleepiest President [Update]
At a fan fest today, the Nationals will announce the addition of a new American president to their much-beloved mascot race, which already saw a shake-up late in the Nationals' season when Teddy Roosevelt won for the first time ever. Crowd-pleasers that the Nationals are, they understood that fans ...

How To Cook Lobster Tails: A Guide For People Who Don't Have Butlers To Do All The Work
Somewhere along the way, lobster became the symbol of gustatory luxury. You picture your stereotypical Person Of Means sitting down to a feast—me, I always picture olde-tymey plutocrats in top hats and tails, monocled, even the women and babies, because my experience of society's upper class begins ...

Redskins OL Trent Williams Will Miss The Pro Bowl Because A Nightclub Patron Tasered Him And Cracked A Bottle On His Head
Yesterday, the Vikings announced that Matt Kalil would be taking over for Redskins offensive lineman Trent Williams in this Sunday's Pro Bowl. The Vikings couldn't supply any details and, as the Pro Bowl is an especially inessential exhibition, some speculated that Williams was merely resting from i...

This Fan Getting Hugtackled By LeBron James After Hitting A Half-Court Hook Shot Is The Greatest Thing Ever
During tonight's Pistons-Heat game, one lucky fan got the opportunity to shoot a half-court hook shot for $75,000. By some miracle, the shot went in, and nobody found themselves more excited about that fact than LeBron James, who rushed onto the court and leaped onto our cargo-shorted hero in a di...

It Now Only Takes One Third As Much Marijuana—Or "Street Drugs"—To Fail An NCAA Drug Test
Maybe you thought the NCAA would be busy covering its ass for illegally paying Nevin Shapiro's attorney to help it gather information to incriminate Miami. But the NCAA is big enough that it can break its own rules while stupidly making other stupid rules even stupider. To that end, it's cracking do...

A Lip Reader Deciphers The Umpire-Manager Arguments Of 2012
Originally published in Baseball Prospectus....

All The Nice Emails We Got From Our Moms After Publishing Our Manti Te'o Story
On Monday, we ran a special edition of Dead Letters, in which we shared all the mean emails we had received in the wake our Manti Te'o story. There was a lot of negative energy in that post. But we don't always get hateful messages from our readers. Sometimes, we get nice emails—from our moms. It's...
![<em>Washington Post</em> Drags Victim's Mother To His Grave To Remind Us That Nobody Is Paying Attention To The Ray Lewis Murder Case [Update: The <i>Buffalo News</i> Too!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18cm3rrxpzoi8jpg.jpg)
<em>Washington Post</em> Drags Victim's Mother To His Grave To Remind Us That Nobody Is Paying Attention To The Ray Lewis Murder Case [Update: The <i>Buffalo News</i> Too!]
"Here he is right here," Priscilla says with a smile....

Cedric Benson's Dogs Are A Scourge Upon Local Livestock
Green Bay Packers running back and part-time strip club DJ Cedric Benson is not very good at controlling his murderous dogs. According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Benson was recently issued a citation after his two Rottweilers went on a violent rampage against some innocent livestock....

UFC On Fox 6: What Do MMA Fans Have Against The Little Guys?
One of the best things about fighting today is that it's fairly free of bullshit. The sport is beneath the notice of the big-time mythmakers, and its own media hustlers are too inept for their godding up to have any real effect, so a fight is rarely about anything so simple as redemption or salvatio...

Nail Yakupov Had A Perfect Celebration For His Game-Tying Goal Last Night
It's hockey season. Didn't you know it was hockey season? We know this hockey season will be unlike other hockey seasons in at least one way: It's short. But we don't yet know whether this season will resemble the last three NHL seasons in another way. Will the Edmonton Oilers be really young and ...

The PGA Doesn't Want Reporters Tweeting Play-By-Play Of Golf Events. Your Move, Norm Macdonald.
Here's the email that PGA communications exec Ty Votaw sent out to reporters, via Wei Under Par:...

Report: Female Tuiasosopo Cousin Involved In Te'o Hoax
Two recent developments have been hard to reconcile with each other. First, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo's claim to the Daily News that, in leading on Manti Te'o, it was him on the phone the entire time, impersonating a female voice. Second, the release of three voicemails from "Lennay Kekua" to Te'o—they rea...

Sean Payton Has Been Back For Two Days And Already Fired Two Coaches
The NFL announced on Tuesday that Sean Payton's season-long suspension for his role in the bounty scandal was over. He presumably spent Wednesday moving all his desk tchotchkes back into his office. Today he fired defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo and secondary coach Ken Flajole....

Arizona's Justification For Trading Justin Upton Is Insufferable
The Arizona Diamondbacks' decision to trade Justin Upton to the Atlanta Braves for Martin Prado, Randall Delgado, and a handful of prospects is a curious one. Upton had a relatively disappointing season in 2012 (he still posted 2.5 WAR according to Fangraphs), but he looked like the second coming o...

Fred Smoot, Who Double-Donged Two Hookers, Peed His Pants After Being Arrested For DUI
Fred Smoot, the former Redskins and Vikings cornerback, would like to be known as something other than "that guy who put a double-ended dildo into two prostitutes on the Vikings sex boat." He tried breaking the news that Robert Griffin III's shredded knee would keep him out an entire year, but that ...

Rating Every Sketch In <em>Kentucky Fried Movie</em>, The Film <em>Movie 43</em> Wanted to Be
Tomorrow, the film Movie 43 opens, and if its stars have their way, you'll never know a thing about it. As amusingly detailed in the New York Post this week, the myriad of movie stars involved in Movie 43 — including Richard Gere, Naomi Watts, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet —...

All Football Players Are Suckers: An NFL No-Namer On His Catfishy Moment
One day during the NFL offseason, I got a text message....