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A Treasure Trove Of Animal Murder Stories For Your Super Bowl Off-Week
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

You Have To Work Out To Get A Workout
Every New Year, millions of people resolve to "get in shape." And, a few weeks into January—right about now—millions of people tire of their dreary new traditional exercise programs, and re-resolve to get in shape creatively. "I'll walk every night," they say. "I'll work in the garden, and take the ...

Manti Te'o's Interview With Katie Couric: A Liveblog
Katie Couric taped her big interview with Manti Te'o Tuesday afternoon. It airs today throughout America. Although the Couric/Te'o publicity team has released a handful of advance snippets—Te'o's admission that he lied to the press, voicemails allegedly from Kekua—most of what Te'o and his family wi...

Listen To Manti Te'o's Voicemails From Lennay Kekua/Ronaiah Tuiasosopo
In advance of this afternoon's interview, Katie Couric's show has released recordings of three voicemails provided by Manti Te'o. The messages were left on Te'o's phone by who he believed was Lennay Kekua. As the Daily News reported this morning, hoaxer Ronaiah Tuiasosopo claims he disguised his voi...

Manti Te'o Joins Notre Dame’s Long Tradition Of Bullshit
Originally published in Bloomberg View....

A History Lesson For Sacramento: How Kansas City Lost The Kings
The owners insisted they had no plans to move the team. That's what the Maloofs swore, raising their right hand as their left hand worked deals with buyers first from Anaheim, then Virginia Beach, then Seattle. And that's what the owners of the Kansas City Kings maintained 30 years ago, even as they...

The Squash Tournament Of Champions Is Underway, And That's Why You're Late For Your Train
Grand Central Terminal in New York City is once again consumed with sports spectators as we approach the final day of the J.P. Morgan Tournament of Champions, a competition to determine the world's best squash player. The glass cage in Vanderbilt Hall has become an annual pilgrimage site for avid f...

Tell It To Your Analyst: The Raging Genius Of Earl Weaver
The first and obvious thing about Earl Weaver, for me, was that he was terrifying. I lived about seven blocks from Memorial Stadium, depending on how you walked it, and Junior Orioles packages were cheap, so my parents took my older brother and me to games all the time, from our youngest days. This ...

Chelsea's Eden Hazard Kicks Ballboy, Is Sent Off From League Cup Semifinal Match
If you thought a League Two side making it to the League Cup final would be the weirdest thing to happen in the semifinals of the Capital One-sponsored English football competition, you'd be wrong. Chelsea, facing a 2-0 aggregate disadvantage on the road in Wales, later found themselves down a man...

Scarves Are Bullshit
It's cold outside today, unless you're one of those insufferable L.A. people who are like IT'S SUNNY AND 70 HERE IN DOUCHE HEAVEN, BABY! Anyway, I had to venture out into the WINDSWEPT MOONSCAPE today, and it was imperative to cover both my neck and the lower half of my face. This is the Scarf Zone,...

Jim Irsay Mailed A Fan $8,500 In Cash For Predicting The Score Of The AFC Championship
Colts owner is a weird dude. But he's honest. So when he tweeted Sunday afternoon that he'd give $8,500 to the first person to correctly predict the outcome and score of the Ravens/Patriots game (with a one-point cushion), there was no reason not to take a guess. One Colts fan named Jason went with ...

Headline Above Newspaper's Blowjob Pantomime Photo: "Taking Hard Hit To Chin"
Yesterday, we all had a good laugh at the Columbus Dispatch's photo of the pivotal play from Monday night's Red Wings-Blue Jackets game. Something something Damien Brunner scored a shootout goal something something we think the Red Wings won something something ... oh, look: That fan in the front ro...

"I Do Not Fit The Mold You Would Expect": Meet The Pharmacist, The FedEx Courier, And Other Dreamers Who Applied To Coach Wisconsin Football
On Dec. 4, the University of Wisconsin's football coach, Bret Bielema, bolted for Arkansas. The school advertised the job opening on its human resources website, allowing an assortment of dreamers to submit their applications online. A bachelor's degree was required; "5 years of successful college f...

NCAA Had Nevin Shapiro's Defense Attorney On Its Payroll, Suspends Miami Investigation
Not a good day for the NCAA. The enforcement program, the hired guns responsible for investigating and recommending penalties for NCAA infractions, has come under its own scrutiny. The probe into the University of Miami booster scandal has been put on hold today, as president Mark Emmert announced a...

What Was Manti Thinking? What's The Future Of Doping? The Amazing Kreskin Is Here To Read Minds And Take Questions
He's a mentalist. He reads thoughts. He makes predictions (though don't ask him to pick the winners of sporting events). He's the Amazing Kreskin, and he's been doing this since long before your parents used to watch him occasionally clown around with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. He's down in ...

Four Washington Redskins Nearly Got Catfished
In December, around the same Manti Te'o was supposedly learning he had been the victim of a hoax, the Redskins director of player development Phillip Daniels was uncovering a mystery of his own. Who was Sidney Ackerman, aka @RedRidnH00d, the beautiful woman who had been communicating online with fou...

Manti Te'o Tells Katie Couric He Lied
Manti Te'o's full sit-down with Katie Couric will air tomorrow, but highlights of the interview were shown on today's Good Morning America. (You can view some of it here.) Te'o's story seems similar in substance to the one he gave in his non-televised, late-night interview with Jeremy Schaap, with a...

Even Steve Donahue Can't Believe How Far The Boston College-Maryland Rivalry Has Fallen
There was a time—and it really wasn't that long ago—that a men's basketball meeting of Boston College and Maryland meant two top-ranked teams facing off in a bitter battle for ACC supremacy. My, oh, my, how things have changed. While last night's bout still earned national broadcast on ESPNU, the s...

Shawn Kemp Feels Bad For Sacramento Losing The Kings, But Says Seattle Has Better Fans
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Reign Man says business is business....

Bradford City Beats Aston Villa, Is First Fourth-Division Team To Reach League Cup Final Since 1962
League Two side Bradford City cruised to a 3-1 win in its home match of the League Cup semifinal tie against Aston Villa two weeks ago, but most observers expected the Claret and Blue to put up, at the very least, a 2-0 win in today's Villa Park rematch to advance to the League Cup final. After al...