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The Astros' Manager Incentivizes His Players By Awarding A $200 Set Of Headphones After Every Win

We've made a lot of fun of the Astros recently. Just this morning, even. (Hey, at least we're paying attention.) But the joke of a roster they field and joke of a style they play likely leads you to mistaken assumptions. It probably makes you think the Astros aren't a first-class organization devote...

Hey, America, Don't Let Your Children Shit At Restaurant Tables

Here's a fun little news item: a Utah woman named Kimberley Decker took her kids out to eat and snapped a photo of a nearby family toilet-training their kids right at the dinner table. Instead of having their kids sit on booster seats, the mother had them sitting on portable toilets, so that they co...

Some Fantastic Photos Of A Fan Fight At The Raiders Game [UPDATED WITH VIDEO]

We don't know the particulars of this fight, which went down Monday night during the Chargers' win in Oakland. We know, at least, the guy on the right is a Raiders fan, as is the crying woman in photos four and five who attempted to beat security officers with their own handcuffs. We also know Raide...

The Astros Are Now Hurting Other People With Their Ineptitude

At first, we found the Houston Astros' nightly slapstick routine to be rather endearing, and it was easy to have laugh at their repeated shenanigans. But then, through no fault but their own, the Astros couldn't even run out simple ground balls without one of their own getting hurt....

The Head Linesman From Sunday's Browns-Eagles Game Is Currently Refereeing A Seventh-Grade Game In Oklahoma

A reader in attendance for a seventh-grade football matchup between Bethany Middle School and Casady in Bethany, Oklahoma reports the referee for tonight's middle school game is none other than Kevin Akin, who served Sunday as head linesman for the Browns-Eagles game and will be working the Broncos...

The Texans' J.J. Watt, who had 1.5 sacks Sunday, said he learned the Dolphins' snap count by watching Hard Knocks....

Torii Hunter On Mike Trout: "What You Guys Are Witnessing Is Greatness"

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The centerfield torch is passed....

Desperate Characters And A Director In Utter Control: <em>The Master</em>, Reviewed.

1. The Master is a movie that leaves you vibrating for about 20 minutes after it's over, though you might be at a bit of pains to explain why. I've only seen the film once, which is a shame; it's the sort of film you want to hit rewind and go through again, immediately, right as the credits get goin...

The Five Most Racist Cities In America!

Last night I had an intense dream that was broken up when I had to get up and take a leak at 6 a.m. But the dream was so fascinating that when I got back into bed, I tried desperately to pick up where I left off, as if I were unpausing a movie. I was walking down the road and carrying two suitcases....

JaVale McGee Threw A Free Burrito Party, But Only One Dude Showed Up [UPDATE]

JaVale McGee invited 10 Twitter followers to a free lunch with him at Chipotle yesterday. And in typically JaVale fashion, the invitation was well-intentioned, but poorly thought out, producing a hilarious result. Given just five minutes notice, only one fan made it to Chipotle: Andy Mathisen, who d...

1,100 Households Watched The Astros Game On Sunday, The Team's Worst TV Rating Ever

The weekend Nielsens are in, and Houstonians are apparently enjoying the last of the summer. Nearly half-a-million households, or 44 percent of TVs in use, were tuned in to the Texans' boring win over the Dolphins. That's not great—worse than all but four games last year. But it's gangbusters compar...

Roger Clemens And The Astros Are Entangled In A Slow, Depressing Dance

We've posted on and on about how Sugar Land Skeeters ace Roger Clemens may be conspiring with the 44-97 Houston Astros to tweak his Hall of Fame chances. Today the Associated Press has given us a bombshell story—bombshell as in, the charred debris that remains after a horrendous event—about the Astr...

The NFL Lawsuit That Could Be Bigger Than The Bounty Scandal

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Jerry Lawler Collapses During Live <em>Raw</em>, Has CPR Performed As Michael Cole Informs Viewers "This Is Not Part Of The Show" [UPDATE]

WWE's Raw has gone silent in Montreal tonight as wrestling legend Jerry "The King" Lawler collapsed at the announcer's desk and immediately received CPR during tonight's live airing of the program....

The U.S. Open Finally Gets A Classic: Andy Murray Is A Grand Slam Winner

Andy Murray always said his favorite Grand Slam was the U.S. Open. Something about the noise, the music, the late nights. It was a weird thing for a Scotsman to say, since he was not so subtly turning his back on Wimbledon, and the British fans....

The Heavy Metal Cruise: "Headbang In The Hot-Tub"

While it's still technically summer, it will soon be fall and before you know it, winter. That's why I'm here to remind you to book your beach vacations in advance. There is nothing quite like ditching the sleet and snow for some LandShark beer and sand between your toes, right? And heavy metal mus...

D.C. Councilmember Says The Nationals Won't Pay For Late-Night Metro Service Because MLB Won't Let Them

As the Washington Nationals march to their first postseason in the post-Expos era, a conflict is brewing over whether fans should have to literally march home after extra-late-for-TV playoff games. Unlike civilized mass transit systems, the D.C. Metro shuts down at midnight and costs $29,500 an hou...

This Photo Captures The Moment A Pissed-Off Steelers Fan Threw Her Beer On The Photographer After Tracy Porter's Game-Ending INT

Everyone, leave Syria, leave Afghanistan, the Pulitzer for breaking news photography is now a one-shot race. A 26-year-old Broncos fan named Greg Wilson took this photo of an angry Steelers fan at Mile High moments after Tracy Porter picked off Ben Roethlisberger to seal Denver's 31-19 victory. The ...

Here Are The 21 Worst Replacement Referee Mistakes From Sunday

Despite management-friendly scribes swearing to the contrary, the NFL's replacement officials made some enormous errors yesterday—some of which affected the outcome of games and at least one that directly led to a starting quarterback being knocked out of the game. That's not to mention losing trac...

Note To Coaches: Saying Your Students Wear A Rival's Colors Because "They Couldn't Get Into" That School Is Not A Good Idea

Western Kentucky's gearing up for a big football game at cross-state rival Kentucky this weekend. Part of the festivities: Hilltoppers players are carrying footballs around campus, and if any fans can steal the ball and bring it to coach, they'll get to travel with the team. (This is a recipe for fu...