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Fab Melo Is Huge And Brazilian And Crushed A Folding Chair
Melo was in New York this week with the rest of the 2012 class for a rookie photo shoot. Then this happened, and it was good....

Shia LaBeouf Wants You To Take Him Seriously
Being successful sure is nice, but what everybody really wants is to be taken seriously. Whether it's Woody Allen following up Annie Hall with the dour Interiors, George Michael turning away from the pop stardom of Faith for the confessional Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1, or Robin Williams decidin...
![That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wzi2p4tznkxjpg.jpg)
That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]
Carl Crawford cleared waivers a couple weeks ago. Josh Beckett is on the wire too. Today, it was reported that Adrian Gonzalez was claimed by the Dodgers. The Red Sox want to get younger and cheaper. The Dodgers have the means, motive and opportunity to go for a title now. These are all the ingredie...

Dead Letters: "Wishing You A Lifetime Of Genital Herpes And Shingles"
Subject: Ephesians...
![NBC's <em>The 'Lights</em> [Sic]: Like <em>SportsCenter</em>, But With Sports](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wziwoeubmmijpg.jpg)
NBC's <em>The 'Lights</em> [Sic]: Like <em>SportsCenter</em>, But With Sports
The morning after the London Olympics came to a close, NBC Sports Network (né Versus, né Outdoor Life Network) premiered The 'Lights, described by the network as as "a catalyst for our new programming lineup" that "will quickly provide sports fans all of the scores and highlights they crave as they ...

That Time Toby Gerhart Got Adrian Peterson's Sports Car Stuck In The Snow
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a tale of two running backs....

What The Hell Happened To Lance Armstrong? All Your Doping Scandal Questions, Answered
Some people pay attention to cycling. Others pay attention to cycling only when the most successful American cyclist of all time is banned from the sport and stripped of his seven Tour de France titles. If you're in that second group, Lance Armstrong's ban has likely left you with some questions. He...

Student-Athletes To Be Slightly Less Exploited, At Least In California
We learned, from Taylor Branch's history, that the term "student-athlete" only arose as a (successful) attempt by the NCAA to avoid having to pay workman's comp to injured players. A Colorado football player, killed by a head injury in the '50s, wasn't entitled to a thing from the NCAA—no health car...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

All Seven Of Lance Armstrong's Tour De France Wins Would Now Go To Cyclists With Doping Scandals Of Their Own
Now Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his seven consecutive Tour de France titles, thanks to the persistent doping allegations against him. It's a sad day for the sport, but at least it vindicates all of the clean-riding cyclists who finished behind Armstrong. Right? So here are the runners-up wh...

Chris Johnson Owes You Money: The Deadspin 2012 AFC Fantasy Football Preview
If you missed our NFC fantasy preview, you can find it right here. And now, it's time for the AFC portion of our annual Deadspin fantasy guide ... FLESH FOR FANTASYYYYYYYYY!!!...

Astros Owner Open To Signing Roger Clemens, But Doesn't Want It To Be A "Publicity Stunt"
You have to give the Astros credit. If they're going to go through with this Roger Clemens cahoots-laden charade, they're going to try and squeeze every last revenue dollar out of it....

Lance Armstrong Drops Fight Against Doping Charges, Will Likely Be Stripped Of Tour Titles And Banned For Life
Seven-time Tour de France-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong has dropped his fight against doping charges leveled at him by the US Anti-Doping Agency. This means that he likely will be stripped of each Tour de France title and banned from competitive cycling for life. Specifically, he'll be stripped o...

Report: Ball State Players Caught Trying To Shoplift "Male Enhancement Pills"
It has not been a good day for Ball State defensive end Jonathan Newsome, seen here during happier times in 2009, after securing a trip to the Rose Bowl as a member of Ohio State. Newsome transferred to Ball State last year and was ready to join the team after sitting out his redshirt season. Except...

First, Kill All The Cyclists. <em>Premium Rush</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's difficult to overstate how much I dislike bicycle riders in New York City. (Collectively. I'm sure you, individual who rides his/her bike, are perfectly pleasant and normal ... when you're not on your bike.) Bike riders have taken over this city, and they are, almost entirely across the boar...

The Details Of Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner's Child Porn Charges Are Horrifying
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner's been charged formally with felony counts of using his own children in a sexual performance and possession of child pornography, and the details outlined in the charges are unpleasant to read. The videos, featuring three children under the age of te...

Joe Paterno/Penn State Defenders: Here's Your Chance To Make Your Case
As tends to happen now whenever we write about Penn State, the discussion below our post Wednesday about Graham Spanier and the Freeh report quickly filled up with Penn State supporters responding with varying degrees of anger. (Some exchanges were ultimately reasonable; others were not.)...

Red Sox Skip Johnny Pesky's Funeral, Probably To Get Chicken And Beer Or Something
In case you're keeping score at home, a non-comprehensive list of reasons why the Red Sox are six games under 500: The Red Sox used to drink too much in the clubhouse. The Red Sox aren't allowed to loosen up in the clubhouse. The Red Sox got too fat. Ownership is too concerned with Liverpool. Josh B...

The Baseball Hall Of Fame Probably Wouldn't Change The Rules If Roger Clemens Pitched A Meaningless Game This Year
Yesterday we half-floated a conspiracy theory that Roger Clemens's impending comeback with the Sugar Land Skeeters was a sneaky ploy to reappear in a major league game for the woeful Astros so that he might push his first hall of fame ballot appearance back five years, to 2017. So we reached out to ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. For a rebuttal, see Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's "Why Your Web...