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Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Buffalo Bills
Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Screengrab from the movie Buffalo '66. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Stay Out Of Arthur Ashe Stadium: A U.S. Open Attendee's Survival Guide
Over the last five years, I've spent more than 60 days and nights at the U.S. Open. The early days at the Open can be really, really overwhelming. There's tennis everywhere, and people everywhere, and you constantly feel as if you have to be missing something. Probably the good part....

Jayson Werth's Glove Is Just For Show
Did you know baseball players didn't regularly wear gloves until the 1890s? Jayson Werth is an absolute throwback, barehanding a pop fly in yesterday's game just because. Or at least because he lost it in the sun....

FUCK YEAH! IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
Holy shit! It's here! It's finally here! The first day of school! SOMEONE PINCH ME ON THE ASS SO I KNOW IT'S REAL!...

An All-Time Great "Lance Armstrong Being A Dick" Story
Lance Armstrong's renowned temperament should probably be remembered as more than incidental to his story. It's unlikely things would have played out the way they have if not for how much of a jerk he was, by nearly all accounts. USADA wouldn't have so doggedly investigated him. His former teammates...

Josh Hamilton's Snot Rockets Are Uniquely Personal
When nature calls for the removal of foreign objects from the nostrils, most of us modestly seek some kind of privacy for the act. Not Josh Hamilton. The Rangers slugger, indeed, wants to share his snot rockets with everyone. It's almost romantic. [FSSW]...

Adam LaRoche Hit A Ball About As Far As Possible Without Hitting A Home Run
Bad break for the Nationals on this one. Adam LaRoche took Cliff Lee deep over the wall at Citizens Bank Park. Unfortunately, it hit flush with a small fence on top of the wall, bounced straight up and back onto the field. Jayson Werth thought it was a home run. Adam LaRoche thought it was a home ru...

James Naismith's Handwritten Notes On The First Basketball Game
These are handwritten notes from James Naismith describing the circumstances of the first game of basketball. They are not newly discovered, they were part of an auction from December 2006, but that does not make them any less fascinating. In all, there are eight pages worth of Naismith's thoughts a...

Jose Canseco Is Suing The Worcester Tornadoes, Who Already Lost Their Shirts In Another Suit
Not in the idiomatic sense; some guy actually took the team's shirts away. The Worcester Tornadoes played a game wearing jerseys that said "The Grays" because the team's been passing off some bad checks. The uniforms were last used in 2007 by a Can-Am league traveling team....

Your Roger Clemens Frosted Tips Update
They are frosty. Very, very frosty. Also frosty for Clemens? The radar gun. The rocket got up to 88 miles per hour during his 3 1/3 innings. I should say, 3 1/3 shutout innings. He struck out two and allowed just one hit. Stay hot, 22! [NY Daily News]...

Tony Stewart Trades Paint With Matt Kenseth, Gets Knocked Out, Hurls Helmet At Kenseth, Doesn't Give A Crap
Tony Stewart showed flashes of the personality that earned him the nickname "Smoke" tonight in the IRWIN Tools Night Race at Bristol when, after taking the lead from Matt Kenseth in the 332nd lap only to scape doors and find himself wrecked in the 333rd, let Kenseth know just how much he loved him...

Adrian Gonzalez Homers In His First At Bat As A Dodger
You know what they say about first impressions: always hit a three-run home run in your first at bat with a new team if you'd like to make a good impression. Hours before, Gonzalez, Josh Beckett and Nick Punto were on a plane en route to Los Angeles as the trade was made official. Gonzalez did not ...

The <em>Houston Chronicle</em> Won't Cover Tonight's Dynamo Match, So We're Liveblogging It
Houston Dynamo are riding a 20-game home unbeaten streak and host Toronto FC tonight looking for a win that could put them tied with New York Red Bulls for second place in the MLS East....

Little League Kids Score 10 Runs In Bottom Of Sixth To Tie Championship Game, ABC Local Affiliates Switch To Preseason Football
The little tykes from California playing in the Little League World Series (U.S. Championship final) scored 10 runs in their last licks to tie the game. This is the home run that sealed the comeback. Unfortunately, Tennessee put up nine more runs in the top of the seventh and won 24-16, so it was...

Josh Beckett Joins Twitter, Is In Desperate Need Of New Handle
Josh Beckett joined twitter today for the express purpose of saying goodbye to the Red Sox faithful, wherever they may be. It's very touching. But this here's a business and it can't be getting mussed up with feelings and dumb Twitter handles....
![It Sure Looks Like Adrian Gonzalez Will Be Hitting Cleanup For The Dodgers Today [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17x3b17hcsjb1jpg.jpg)
It Sure Looks Like Adrian Gonzalez Will Be Hitting Cleanup For The Dodgers Today [UPDATE]
There's still no official word from the teams, but the Dodgers sure seem to think that Adrian Gonzalez will be moving to Los Angeles. He's batting cleanup and playing first base according to the lineup posted by Enrique Rojas of ESPN Deportes. Buster Olney also tweeted that Gonzalez would be in the ...

The Houston Astros Are Just The Worst
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you. By now you shoulda somehow realized what you gotta do. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now....

Not Everybody Loves Derek Jeter, As Evidenced By This Old Man Giving Him The Handwank
The Yankees scraped past the Indians 3-1 last night in Cleveland, extending their AL East lead thanks in part to Derek Jeter's two hits....

Rockets GM Daryl Morey Has A Counterintuitive And Analytic Reason For Giving Money To Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney is not a really popular guy, except in the Cayman Islands. Lots of people like him because he's not Barack Obama, and lots of people like him because his party's platform aligns with their personal views, but no one really seems to like Mitt for his essential Mittness. But Daryl Morey, t...

Reports: Boston Red Sox And Los Angeles Dodgers Agree To Crazy Trade
Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford and Josh Beckett appear to be on the move. While the teams have yet to officially announce the trade, barring any medical snafus or no-trade clause invocations, this crazy deal appears to be a crazy done deal. ...