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It Takes A Special Kind Of Mom To Disown Her Child Over Voicemail
Once in a while, we're offered a glimpse into the dark heart of the American family. The above voicemail is one such instance. Reader Ben provides the background:...

There Are Two Relievers Who Are Doing Really Absurd Things Right Now
The Cincinnati Reds have played 54 games, officially one-third of their 2012 schedule. And the Angeles de Anaheim have played a few more games than that. We're at a point in the season when peculiarities morph into real, dependable success. That means we have no choice but to pay attention to Aroldi...
![How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17oy9pv00sq5dpng.png)
How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]
An 18-year-old high school senior named Tim was bored one day last November when CNBC's sports biz guy, Darren Rovell, sent out the following tweet:...

Bristolmetrics: The Miami Heat Got More <em>SportsCenter</em> Coverage Than The Spurs And Thunder Combined
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute by minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

"Good Job, Good Effort" Heat Fan Is The Best
He could be a super-passionate Heat fan. He could be the trolliest young Celtics fan in the history of everything. It doesn't matter tonight. "Good Job, Good Effort" Kid, we salute you....

It Feels Like The First Time—Almost. <i>Prometheus</i>, Reviewed.
Prequels may be Hollywood's latest gimmick to repackage old franchises as new movies, but they have one definite advantage over traditional sequels. Whereas parts two, three, four, etc., of a series usually find the filmmakers coming up with plots that move further and further away from the story (a...

Women's Tennis Player Plays Like A Man, Says Women's Tennis Player
Oh no. Dominika Cibulkova lost to Australian Sam Stosur earlier today, and here's what she had to say about it:...

Bro-Tastic Laxachusetts Lax Bros Get The Bro-Tastic Story They Deserve From The <em>Boston Bro-be</em>
Mark this date in history, people. Years from now, you will look back at June 5th, 2012, as the beginning of the LAX BRO MOVEMENT. And you will have Boston Globe reporter Jenifer McKim to thank for it:...

"Athletic" Shawn Johnson Retires: How Gymnastics Talks About Bodies In Code
On Sunday, former world and Olympic champion gymnast Shawn Johnson, 20, retired from gymnastics. Citing a bum knee, she withdrew from this coming weekend's national championships, the first competitive step towards the 2012 Olympic team....

Unstoppable Spurs Juggernaut Only Two Wins Away From NBA Finals
The Spurs—can they be beaten? In the past week (well, the past week plus a little), they've been called "unstoppable", "unstoppable and utterly dominant", "unstoppable" again, and "unstoppable" a few more times. Clearly, the stoppability of the Spurs is not at issue. They are unstoppable. They've wo...

How To Tell Your Family That Your Cousin Is A Porn Star
Before we get into the Funbag, a quick announcement: I'll be out in D.C. tomorrow night handling the introduction at Justin Halpern's book reading at the Sixth & I Synagogue (Gregg Easterbrook would not approve). I should tell you in advance that you have to pay to go to this thing, which is a pain ...

Counterpoint: Johan Santana Is The Ideal Met To Have Thrown A No-Hitter
So, this. "Do Mets Fans Wish Someone Else Had Thrown Their First No-Hitter?"...

Our Readers' Run-Ins With Virgil, Pro Wrestling's Saddest Man
Yesterday we discovered the wonder and depression of Lonely Virgil, a single-serving Tumblr chronicling the descent of the onetime WWF and WCW "superstar" into a deserted wastleland of comic conventions and indie show parking lots. And then we heard from readers. You people have met Virgil over the ...

When You Kiss The Ladies, Do It On Camera: How Richard Dawson Beat Bob Barker And Everyone Else
Richard Dawson is not dead. He is available on Television, which is now available on the Internet....

How A Career Ends: I Was The No. 1 Pick In The MLB Amateur Draft, And Now I'm A Cautionary Tale
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today, with the MLB amateur draft beginning in a matter of hours: Pitcher David Clyde, the No. 1 pick in the 1973 draft and now an object lesson in how not to handle...

Amar'e Stoudemire Tweets Marriage Proposal, Looks Snazzy
Learned Jewish scholar and fighter of fire extinguishers Amar'e Stoudemire tweeted news of his engagement in Paris last night. Stoudemire wrote that when Alicia Welch accepted his proposal, it was "surreal" and that at the time of his tweet, he was "still floating." L'chaim!...

Rajon Rondo Was Surly And Surgical Last Night
Last night the Celtics tied the Heat at 2-2 in the Eastern Conference finals, which is good news if you want to watch a competitive series. It's even better news if you want to watch Rajon Rondo play incredible basketball....

Maine TV Anchor Reports Last Night's Heat-Celtics Game Four Ended In A Tie
Portland, Maine, isn't exactly a small television market. With a Nielsen DMA rank of 78, it's solidly mid-sized, amongst the Toledos and Omahas of the TV landscape. Regardless, stations sometimes find themselves shorthanded on the weekends—which appears to have happened at Portland's ABC affiliate...

Who Loves You And Who Do You Love? Richard Dawson, Fantastic '80s Movie Villain
If you were to rank the movies I have seen more than any others in my life, you wouldn't find many classics on there, no Kurosawa, no Kubrick, no Billy Wilder. (Though Some Like It Hot might come close.) The movies I have seen repeatedly are the ones I saw because they were my only options; they wer...

Guy Who Ran On Field To Celebrate Johan Santana's No-Hitter Had To Spend Son's First Birthday In Jail
When Mets players mobbed Johan Santana at the mound after his no-hitter Friday night, they were briefly joined by an airline pilot from Long Island dressed in jorts and a Gary Carter jersey. You can see dude pretty clearly in the video of the celebration, including the moment when a couple of securi...