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Coming To Grips With Your Sexless Adulthood
Before we get to the Funbag, I should note that I'm doing a reading in Chapel Hill tonight at 7 p.m. at Flyleaf Books. The afterparty is gonna be at Linda's, which is about a mile away. And then, tomorrow night, there's gonna be a reading in Durham at the Regulator at 7 p.m., with drinks at either C...

Why Are Ray Lewis And <em>Friday Night Lights</em>' Peter Berg Shilling For The NFL On Player Safety?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

How To Survive A Concussion In An MMA Fight
The referee stared into my eyes between rounds. My nose had just been broken and was bleeding like the prom scene in Carrie, but the ref ignored the blood. He wanted to see if I could still focus. "Don't you dare stop this fucking fight," I snarled at him, before suddenly remembering who he was. "So...

Blake Griffin Just Dunked On The Entire Perkins Family Tree
It's only halfway through the abbreviated NBA season, so I'm hesitant to dub anything dunk of the year. But here it is, dunk of the year—and of course it's from Blake Griffin. Kendrick Perkins's family requests no flowers be sent. [NBA TV]...

Tim Thomas Has Not Voted Since 2004
After last week's Tim Thomas brouhaha, in which the Bruins' goalie skipped his team's White House visit and explained the thing via nuttily capitalized Facebook message, which made the Bruins mad at him, we figured we would examine just how much Tim Thomas exercised his own rights as a free citizen....

Homemade Infographic: What Were The Gayest (And Straightest) Super Bowl Halftime Shows?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Here's The AOL Column That Got Bill Simmons Hired By ESPN, In Which He Calls The ESPYs A "TV Holocaust"
ESPN's initial courtship of Bill Simmons has the air of an urban legend. Simmons wrote a column excoriating the bloated and self-congratulatory ESPY Awards, and that column was rapidly forwarded around Bristol, putting the Boston Sports Guy on ESPN's radar. Much like Aeschylus's lost plays, the ESPY...

A Tour Of The Terrifying Downhill Ski Course That Will Rip Open Your Pelvis "Like A Book"
At first glance, the Hahnenkamm doesn’t seem too gnarly. A mountain near the ski resort town of Kitzbühel, Austria, the peak isn’t the highest in the Alps. Or the biggest. Or the steepest. And it has a funny name that translates to “Rooster’s Comb,” which sounds like a spot where the Trapp Family mi...

A Bicycle-Mounted LeBron James Photobombed The Miami Marathon
With traffic a mess as the Miami marathon wrapped up prior to tip-off against the Bulls, LeBron ditched the car and rode his bike to work. There's a debate going on over whether the whole thing was staged for PR purposes, so it's worth mentioning that LeBron hosts an annual charity bike-a-thon in Ak...

Bristolmetrics: Joe Paterno Was Mentioned 116 Times On <em>SportsCenter</em> Last Week; Jerry Sandusky Was Mentioned 8 Times
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Let's All Get Wasted At Patrick Kane's Coming-Out Party
Sidney Crosby suffered a neck injury, we were told. It was supposedly separate from his concussion issues, and announced by someone with the ominous title of neurological spine specialist, but we were reassured that it was fully healed. Nothing about that terse Penguins release was reassuring. Crosb...

Woman Dumps Man Because He Has Cancer, Still Wants His Super Bowl Tickets
The headline pretty much says it all, doesn't it? John Wessling and Anson Ainsworth, radio show hosts in Houston, pass along this incredible story of bitchiness and greed. Jason Elia, a television writer living in Nashville, went to the trouble of getting Super Bowl tickets for himself and his girl...

Syracuse Holds Off West Virginia Thanks To A Blown Goaltending Call
Syracuse avoided overtime and stayed atop the Big East with the help of referees in locking up a 63-61 win this afternoon over West Virginia. ...

Todd Haley Might Not Get Paid
Earlier in the week, Arizona Radio guy, Mike Jurecki, reported that he was "hearing" that Kansas City would not be paying Todd Haley's final contract year for "cause" (read: supreme asshole-ery). Haley, if you'll recall, was dumped by the Chiefs earlier this year. Despite winning the AFC West in hi...

Don Mattingly Beans a Bear And Other Trick Shots
This is one of those trick shot videos that are all the rage these days. It seems that Mattingly, son Preston (and future Yankees MVP) and some other local Evansville, Indiana super stars have their own now called Trickwinkle? I don't know. A bear is involved....

Tickets For Sunday's Nets Game Against The Raptors Can Be Yours For Just $.01
It was just last week that StubHub prices for Wizards tickets had jumped overnight from 30 cents to to $2.50. But even that markup is 250 times what it will run you if you really, really want to catch Andrea Bargnani and his high-wire act from Toronto on Sunday evening in Newark (click the above im...
![The Internet Has Discovered The Exact Day Featured In Ice Cube's "It Was A Good Day" [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The Internet Has Discovered The Exact Day Featured In Ice Cube's "It Was A Good Day" [UPDATE]
Murk Avenue reports, after exhaustive research involving Lakers-SuperSonics games and Yo! MTV Raps airings, that the Good Day in question was January 20, 1992, 20 years ago a week ago. We will forever remember it. ...

A Graphic Guide To Understanding <em>USA Today</em>'s Purchase Of The Big Lead
The old new paradigm got a piece of a newer paradigm this week, as once-revolutionary USA Today acquired the Big Lead. What does this mean? Blog posts slipped under your hotel-room door? We pulled some numbers from the press release to illustrate how it all might fit together....
![Tom Brady Gave All His Teammates Uggs To Celebrate Their Super Bowl Appearance [UPDATE: Or Did He?]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4n3rp547sbjpg.jpg)
Tom Brady Gave All His Teammates Uggs To Celebrate Their Super Bowl Appearance [UPDATE: Or Did He?]
Brady endorses these things, after all. So a hearty congratulations to whoever happens to be in the Patriots' secondary this week! (Or did he?) [via]...

Deadspin's Blood Week Begins Monday, And We Want Your Stories
We've done Blood Week in the past, and next week we're bringing it back. What is Blood Week? Well, it's tales of blood, violence, gruesome injuries, near-death experiences, mayhem, and blood. Think hockey. Think boxing. Think MMA. Think anything that confronts you with your own fragile and occasion...