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After Last Night's Botched Trade, Danny Granger Says He's Changing His Name To "Stern's Bi#&h"
If you were following the whirlwind that came with last night's planned, and then nixed three-team trade that would have sent Chris Paul to the Lakers, you probably caught some of the athlete reactions. Paul, going for subtlety, tweeted, "WoW," while Lamar Odom—after a teary interview with Stephen A...
Dude With That Awful "Tebow Time" Centaur Tattoo Did, In Fact, Lose A Bet
We initially said he didn't. But it's kind of a relief to discover that he did because, like, really. [Larry Brown Sports]...
Chris Paul Will Reportedly Not Go To The Lakers In A Three-Team Trade
NBA owners have reportedly pressured the league to kill the three-way deal. [RealGM.com]...
Chris Paul Will Reportedly Go To The Lakers In A Three-Team Trade
The NBA lockout officially ended this evening, when the players and owners ratified the new CBA in Manhattan, and everything else has already fallen back into place: The Clippers signed Caron Butler to a $24 million deal, the Knicks lost out on an opportunity to sign a great point guard, and the Lak...
A Little Pujols Math To Infuriate Cardinals Fans
In 2009, Albert Pujols said this:...
Tim Tebow Is My Seaweed-Wrapped Japanese Rice Ball
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Your Rolando McClain Perp Walk Grin Photoshop Roundup
When we put out the call last week for photoshops of the fantastic perp walk photo of Oakland Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain (above), we knew you'd be up to the challenge; we knew you'd make us laugh like all hell at the sheer absurdity of it all. And you didn't disappoint. In all honesty, I w...
Which Group Of St. Louis Residents Is Bidding Albert Pujols Good Riddance? Classical Music Fans
Cardinals fans are reacting strongly to today's news of his departure for Anaheim, leading to surreal images like guards surrounding the statue of him outside his St. Louis restaurant....
The Great NFL Migration Is About To Begin
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
"Honey Badger Does Care": LSU Is Cracking Down On The Proliferation Of Tyrann Mathieu T-Shirts
The school's compliance office has issued cease and desist notifications—with a great headline, by the way—to the makers of several really cool T-shirts, even though the shirts don't mention LSU or Tyrann Mathieu by name. The reason?...
The Feel-Good Scam Of Owning The Packers
For just the fifth time in their 92-year history, the publicly owned Green Bay Packers launched a stock offering this week, issuing at least 250,000 shares to anyone who wants to count themselves as an owner of an NFL team. It's an irresistible offer for a devoted fan, and within 11 minutes of stock...
Report: Albert Pujols To Sign With The Angels
Tim Brown of Yahoo appears to have had it first, as you can see above, but Buster Olney's sources are telling him the same thing. Bob Nightengale of USA Today says it's for 10 years and $250 million. Somebody check on Leitch to make sure he's OK. [Yahoo]...
Every "Tebow" Uttered On ESPN's "TebowCenter" Today
In what was either a rare act of self-awareness or a complete lack thereof on behalf of the Worldwide Leader, ESPN dedicated an entire hour of SportsCenter today to Tim Tebow, managing to mention the Denver quarterback's name no fewer than 88 times in the process—all of which were painstakingly ed...
Ken Rosenthal Throws Himself Against The Wall
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day. Photo via @joecapMARLINS. This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...
Nick Saban Was Irrational For Not Being <em>More</em> Selfish
My favorite family legend involves my dad's baby sister—my "Тетка," in Macedonian—Bonnie. As the story goes, Bonnie's first-grade class organized a Brownie troop, and their first act was to elect a troop leader. When they counted the votes, Bonnie was the only girl who hadn't voted for herself. Upse...
Somebody In Denver Got This Awful "Tebow Time" Centaur Tattoo On His Thigh
And the dude who did came into a tattoo parlor with that rendering and actually asked to have it done. Afterward, even the artist who put it there felt compelled to ask the man if he had lost a bet. He hadn't. [Larry Brown Sports]...
Orlando Reporter Asks Resigning Magic CEO If He Really Said That Thing I Made Up
This morning the Magic held a hastily arranged press conference to announce the retirement of CEO Bob Vander Weide after nearly 20 years with the club. Team officials maintained that the move had been planned for months, and had nothing to do with a 1 a.m. phone call Vander Weide made to Dwight Ho...
Jerry Sandusky Re-Arrested On Additional Charges That He Performed Oral, Anal Sex On Pre-Teen Boys
Jerry Sandusky was re-arrested on 12 additional charges of sexual abuse today. He was reportedly dressed in a Penn State track suit at the time of his arrest in State College. While "at least" five more people have come forward with allegations against the former football assistant since the origina...
Florida Mom Wants To Change The Name Of Her Child, Spurrier Urban Wiley
I want to reveal to you a big secret, that college football would rather not have you know: sometimes coaches don't stay with a single team forever, and sometimes they even take other jobs. Scandalous....
"Do You Think Your Nomination Into The HOF Illegitimizes The HOF?" And Other Awkward Questions For Tim McCarver
The media conference call with Tim McCarver that accompanied this morning's announcement of his Hall of Fame award got off to a rocky start (which may have been our fault) when the first question was "What, exactly, is your vendetta against the New York Yankees?" It went downhill from there, espec...