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Barry Zito Ties The Knot, Looks Ridiculous In Wedding Photo
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...
NFL Owners Exist To Be Hated
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Are You Ready For This Mustache?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Would Brett Favre Take A Phone Call From The Ice Capades? "I Don't Want To Go Into Hypotheticals," Agent Says
We put in another call to Brett Favre's agent, Bus Cook, this morning. Upon hearing that I was calling from Deadspin, he let out a long sigh, but was gracious enough to stay on the phone. In an effort to expand on ESPN's report from Monday—in which ESPN established via anonymous source that Brett Fa...
Orlando Magic CEO Steps Down, Allegedly After A Late Night Drunk Dial To Dwight Howard
Dwight. Dwight, are you awake? Pick up, man. Dwight, man, I shouldn't be calling you. My buddy says it's too late to be calling anyone, but I just had to tell you. I..love you, Dwight. You're one of my best friends. You know that? I never told anyone that, but you are like the greatest guy....
Dion Phaneuf's Dad Gets High Fives After His Son Decapitates A Ranger
The NHL's radical realignment means four conferences that will need names, so how about the Michael Sauer Memorial Conference after the late Rangers defenseman, taken in the prime of his life by this clean hit from last night. Just kidding! He's not dead. He's being evaluated by doctors with an "u...
How A Heisman Finalist's Penis Ended Up On The Internet
We already knew LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu was a pro. Forget his onfield play; dude already had an awesome nickname and a failed drug test. But yesterday turned out to be the ultimate rite of passage for Mathieu, as he knocked two major accomplishments off his star athlete checklist in one day: g...
The Two-Fisted, One-Eyed Misadventures Of Sportswriting's Last Badass
George Kimball hung upside down some 70 feet in the cold Manhattan air, still in need of a cigarette. Well, the doctors had said smoking would kill him, hadn't they? The previous autumn, they had found an inoperable cancerous tumor the size of a golf ball in his throat and given him six months to li...
ESPN Has Cut Ties With Matthew Barnaby "Effective Immediately"
After the news broke this morning that analyst Matthew Barnaby had been arrested for a DWI in Clarence, N.Y., an ESPN spokesman informed us that Bristol was "looking into the situation." We just received word that Barnaby's been fired. From ESPN's shit-handling department: "We spoke with Matthew and...
Brian Cashman The Elf, Ken Rosenthal The Ninja, And Other Rumblings Around The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...
This Is What Happens To Your Face When You Try To Rob An MMA Expert
Anthony Miranda, a 24-year-old from Chicago, allegedly attempted a robbery on the Southwest Side of the city late Friday night. Police say he strolled up to a parked car, asked the driver for a light, and then pulled out a handgun....
Is Winning The Overtime Coin Toss A Blessing Or A Curse?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
What Losing Jose Reyes Really Means For Mets Fans
In eighth grade I wrote a poem about Jose Reyes, the Miami Marlins' new shortstop. The poem wasn't so good. I wrote it in Reyes's gregarious broken English, in which every third utterance is "you know" or "man." But I had to write something quickly for a class, and in April 2005, nothing captivated ...
Keith Olbermann Insists Suzy Kolber Was Just As Toxic At ESPN As He Was
Below is an excerpt from Those Guys Have All The Fun: Inside The World of ESPN, which is finally in paperback so those readers anxious for more Bristol back-biting don't have to carry around the cumbersome hardcover. The new version includes more bitchy anecdotes from Bill Simmons, further details a...
Tim Tebow Is Making Me Question My Atheism
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Cotto-Margarito II: Mistakes, Revenge Porn, And The Looming Dread Of Watching Miguel Cotto Fight
We all make mistakes....
College Football Would Love It If You'd Waste Your Time Complaining About Bowl Matchups
You say you're shocked—shocked—that the BCS standings aren't consistent, or some voters made dumb choices, or teams were selected for bowl games based on something other than simple merit. Hi! Welcome to college football! You must be new here....
Paterno, Chairman Of Jerry Sandusky's Charity Were Pursuing $125M Real Estate Deal When Sandusky Was Caught Allegedly Sodomizing Boy
One might be tempted to say this thickens the plot, but let's resist temptation and merely state the facts: When Mike McQueary told Joe Paterno in 2002 that he'd seen Jerry Sandusky raping a 10-year-old boy in the shower, Paterno was in business with longtime Second Mile board chairman Robert Poole ...
Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...