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Rex Ryan's New Calf Tattoo Is Really Awful
"Converse sneaks. Check. New tattoo. Check. Rex is ready for camp," Jets EVP Matt Higgins tweeted this morning....

Hey Kids, If You Suckerpunch A Fan On A College Football Field, You Could One Day Become A Mild-Mannered Surgeon
Tipster Mike sends us a nice little "Where Are They Now" update on Kellen Huston, the former Nebraska corner who threw the above roundhouse at a Mizzou player in 2003....

Wachovia Chasing Stephon Marbury For $16 Million Loan Starbury, Inc. Hasn't Paid Back
Tipster Kevin alerts us to an ongoing case in Montgomery County, Ohio, in which an affiliate of Wachovia/Wells Fargo is suing a familiar name—defendant Stephon X. Marbury....

Here's Video Of Some Unisex Fighting At Last Night's Mets-Nationals Game
The 15th second of this video is key. That's when a big dude's elbow sends a lady reeling....

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Friday Afternoon Fun With Asian People, With Special Guest Stars Neymar And Chien-Ming Wang
Set to jolly CONMEBOL rhythms, this is a local TV spot on Brazilian team Santos' new ad hyping their Club World Cup trip to Japan. Yep, those are Santos players making the slant-eyed gesture. We'd expect this kind of thing from one half of the Treaty of Tordesillas, but not both....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Life, Death, And Sex On Skis
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. With things sweltering outside, we went looking for stories that might remind us of what it feels like to be cold. We found these instead....

Kyle Orton Will Never Back Up Tim Tebow
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: either he's the man, or he's gone....

When Tom Met Chad: Love Blossoms At The Patriots Camp
Tom Brady met his new wide receiver today. ...

A Ball From Josh Beckett Touches This Child Like Nothing Else Can
Baseballs are the most important thing on earth. It's time we stopped pretending they aren't....

A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult....

Toni Kukoc, Accused Of Visiting Prostitutes, Shrugs
From the Croatian Times:...

Colby Rasmus Is Thrilled That Obama Isn't President In Canada
With Rasmus moving north of the border, Joe Sports Fan thought it would be a good time to unveil this undated photo of Colby making his political views known in the most effective way known to man — via t-shirt. So in a way, Rasmus is like everyone who's ever bitched that if an election didn't go th...

ESPN Interview With Skateboarder Carries On Despite Possible Abduction Of Child
Last week an ESPN crew interviewed Nyjah Huston, a 16-year-old skateboarder from Davis, Calif., to talk about his preparations and expectations for this year's X-Games. Huston's interview is nothing riveting — "um, yeah, like, gonna be sick, like, you know?" — and his cause isn't helped at all by ...

Deconstructing Last Night's Most Amazing Moment: Scott Proctor's Faceplant
Lots of wacky things are bound to happen in a 19-inning game, but I don't think anyone will be able to forget the lasting image of this morning's Pirates-Braves marathon: Scott Proctor tripping over his own feet while coming out of the batters box. Thankfully MLB.com was all over the replays on th...

BREAKING: Hall Of Famer, Admitted T-Shirt Thief Roberto Alomar Will Return The T-Shirt He Stole
Perhaps you read our story earlier today, of Blue Jays fans Fiyaz Kanji and Owais Farooqui, who made the pilgrimage to Cooperstown this weekend to see Roberto Alomar enter the Hall. But during the parade, Alomar took the $50 t-shirt that belonged to Kanji....

Did Andres Blanco Make Adrian Beltre Sit In His Fart Cloud? Oh, Yes, He Did.
And this is why you have to love regular-season baseball. We showed you the highs several minutes ago, but there are lows, too. Such riveting lows they are....

Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....

A Dejected Tom Ricketts Rides The Train
Sonny in Chicago emailed us today to share an unexpected sighting on his afternoon commute: "I sat on the Metra today, coming back from downtown Chicago to the suburbs, I looked up and what do you know, it's Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts sitting right across from me, on his iPhone with his Cubs ph...

The First Rounder Who'd Rather Play For The Long Island Ducks Than Sign With The Astros
The Astros are high on UConn outfielder George Springer, who they took last month with the 11th overall pick. How high? He's got some wondering if Hunter Pence isn't now expendable. But the deadline to agree to terms is August 15th, and Springer spent his weekend on Long Island, meeting with the GM ...