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Auburn Pep Rally Turns Into Sappy Sing-A-Long
Things have been a little contentious at Auburn the last few days, so at a pep rally last night, the community decided the best show to show solidarity and focus on their championship aspirations, and not the current unpleasantness, was a sing-a-long....

Bruins Marketing Department Responds To Column-Kicking Girl With Horrifying Bear Commercial
The Bruins have issued a video response to our column-destroying superhero ladyfriend. It is a short ad with a giant bear and creepy scraping noises, and it is terrifying. Watch inside....

Dolphins Fans, This Is Your Quarterback
Chad Pennington is ready for a rap battle with Kerry Collins, if it comes to that. Higher res here....

The One With Unintentional Racism At A Fast Food Joint
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....

Coach Raids John Daly's Wardrobe For Retina-Bleaching Suit
The coach of the Morehead State women's team wanted a way to grab attention to help recruiting. His solution? Well, you see the photo....

Colin Cowherd Keeps Fucking That Chicken (UPDATE)
Yesterday, on the heels of John Wall's first career triple-double in his sixth career game, Colin Cowherd once again took to the airwaves to air his grievance about Wall's play. It was tasteful; he invoked Wall's dead dad and everything....

Charles Barkley: Whoever Asked Only $180G For Cam Newton Should Be Fired
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: finally, someone asks Sir Charles what he thinks about Cam Newton...

Are The Reporters Going After Cam Newton "Slave Catchers"?
That's the term Jason Whitlock used. It's upsetting lingo, but there's something there. What's the culpability of those exposing rule-breakers when the rules are unjust?...

Heat Strokes, Game 9: Rethinking The Big Three
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

Column-Kicking Lady Hockey Fan Sought By Authorities
Yesterday, we brought you the delightful video of the seemingly inebriated Bruins fan kicking a hole through a column in a TD Garden restroom. We all had some laughs and moved on, with the exception of TD Garden officials....

BREAKING: No-Pants Guy In Vikings Organization Is Not Dennis Polian, Polian's Attorney Says
We have it on good authority that the individual above with the spooky glare and the compression shorts is NOT Dennis Polian. Here's why:...

The Confessions Of A Misery Voyeur: Your Guest Jamboroo
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Our own Katie Baker is filling in for him this week....

Bleacher Report Suspends Cam Newton
Of course, there's the possibility that BR has the exclusive and we just look like fools here. But that's not a world I want to live in. [Bleacher Report Google Cache, h/t Josh]...

NFL Pension Decided By Bigamy Laws
A judge ruled that the pension for former Eagles RB Tom Sullivan goes to his first wife rather than his second, because he didn't bother divorcing in between. This is why Vegas and Utah will never get pro teams. [Tribune]...

Lady Hockey Fan Has Superpowers When Drunk
So that's what women do when they go to the restroom together....

Gilbert Arenas Opens Up About Crapping In People's Shoes
In January, in a Gilbert Arenas feature for the Washington Post, Mike Wise and Michael Lee casually noted that Gil, a renowned locker room prankster, "once defecated in teammate Andray Blatche's shoe." It's brushed over pretty quickly and the article moves on....

Pelle Lindbergh Died 25 Years Ago Today
There are sports deaths that sting in just about every city. Munson. Clemente. Piccolo. Bias. The whole Marshall football program. Well, today really stings Philadelphia, and Flyers fans in particular....

CNN Gives Us The Mother Of All Telestrator Dongs
Everything about this picture is ideal: facial expressions, hand gestures, and, especially, telestrator dong placement (TDP). Why, this telestrator dong was so perfect, The Daily Show got in on the fun. Video after the jump....

Last Night's Winner: John Wall's Eventual, Inevitable Quintuple-Double
It took young Mr. Wall all of six games to put together his first career triple-double, a thing of beauty even against the hapless Rockets. He also had six steals. One day he'll put it all together with, yes, 10 turnovers....

This Is What $102 Million Gets You, Devils Fans
The shootout has been one of the most welcome additions to the NHL in the last few years. The excitement's palpable and the chances of seeing either an amazing goal or an amazing stop are present. But not tonight in Dirty Jerz....