to Page 1813 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's The Next Longhorn Girl?
To commemorate the emergence of Arielle Whatsherface, the new hot, young teenager that collapsed the internet with her winsome good looks, the Cultural Oddsmaker column makes a brief return....

Tailpipe: "The Padding Of The Console Pressed Against Her Side"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Godwin's Law Strikes The SI Swimsuit Issue
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Doug Gottlieb, "Touch-Screen Dong" (Touch Screen, 2010)
The ESPN analyst's latest work is a fine addition to the telestrator dong genre. Note the Fauvist coloring and bold gestural abstraction. He has wisely avoided one of dong art's most shopworn clichés, bypassing the pendulous balls entirely....

Binghamton Basketball Was Not A Well-Run Outfit
A $1 million investigation resulting in 102-page report has come to the shocking conclusion that Binghamton—the crime waviest basketball program in D-I—may have lacked "oversight" and "self-inquiry." Also, the Titanic may have lacked "water-tightness." [USAToday/NY Times]...

In Praise Of Team Spicoli
I have a new favorite Olympian, and he is the guy who, when asked yesterday how it feels to be a member of the U.S. snowboarding team, responded with the following bit of bongwater poetry:...

Super Bowl Salvation. The Final Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Live Chat With Mark Bechtel
Mark's in the comments. Topics for discussion: Daytona, rubbing, smutty NASCAR romance novels, Richard Petty's loopy handwriting, the art of dodging fireballs on the speedway, Cale Yarborough's karate kick, the Swimsuit Issue, and why Mark is in Vegas right now....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>He Crashed Me So I Crashed Him Back</em>
Today's selection is from Mark Bechtel's He Crashed Me So I Crashed Him Back, a romp through NASCAR's pivotal 1979 season. Watch the video below, read the excerpt, and chat with Mark at 1 p.m. in a followup post....

If The Nets Lose And No One's Around To See It, Does It Still Count In The Standings? (Yes.)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Caps Fan Doesn't Actually Know Size Of Jordan Staal's Penis
It looked for all the world like that fan was impugning the, uh, curve of Staal's stick. Not so. Now we get the real story....

Clueless Announcers Dissect Obscene Jersey Salute (Fellator Update)
To all the middle-age announcers out there: when you see a fan making a hand gesture you don't understand, you shouldn't ask your broadcast partner to explain it. It just might be a blowjob pantomime....

I Was There: Those Aren't Tears, I Swear
Todd C. was at Pat O'Brien's on Bourbon Street and shot some video at game's end that represents the only touching moment in the bar's history that did not involve Rohypnol. He writes in an e-mail:...

Longhorn Girl Arielle Angelovich: A Lesson In Instant Internet Fame
How does one go from anonymous math major to a sought-after interweb celebrity in the span of 40 minutes? All it takes is some fortuitous timing, a bit of fate, and a bright orange t-shirt....

The Saddest Rachel Uchitel Interview In History
Rachel Uchitel, known internationally as "Tiger Woods Mistress #1," is gearing up for a new career as a correspondent for Extra. She gave a bland interview to Mario Lopez, yet spurned my own half-assed attempt at snagging one. On Facebook....

Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Brilliant Strategy Tainted Win, Says Football Genius
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Well, We Found Longhorn Girl
A helpful classmate tipped us off to the young lady's name, and Deadspin Investigative Services sprung into action. There turned out to be quite the paper trail; follow it with us, won't you?...

Athlete Dong Is The New Celebrity Sex Tape
Before nude photos surfaced, only devoted NBA fans knew who George Hill was. But after — we all know his name. This can only be good for his career, and we will only see more athlete dong in the future....

I Was There: "... And This Couple Starts Having Sex In The Window Of The Bar"
The bon temps rouler-ed all weekend long in New Orleans, and Mike was there in his bumblebee costume. We're told he's still drunk. Let's pick up his account midstream:...

Your Blizzard-Proof Biggest Mailbag Ever
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email me here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering the miso paste test, elevators, zombies, shoveling, and more....