to Page 1841 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Florida Gymnast Lets Boyfriend Turn Her Apartment Into Weapons Cache
A University of Florida gymnast was arrested yesterday after police discovered "a safe, nine shotguns or rifles and two computers" in her apartment, all of which were stolen by her totally awesome boyfriend....
News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon (UPDATE)
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls start powder puff football brawls that spill over into the crowd....
NBA Locker Rooms Terrorized By Giant Rubber Balls
The Sacramento Kings have sent an urgent directive to all NBA teams warning them to be on the lookout for the large exercise ball that brutally attacked and maimed forward Francisco Garcia. It is considered round, squishy and extremely dangerous....
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....
The French Are Still Not Lance Armstrong Fans
Here's a shocker from the cycling world: Team Astana—which featured the first- and third-place finishers at the Tour de France—is now under a doping investigation! I'm starting to think cycling might have a problem with drugs. [AFP/AP]...
Shane Victorino's Herbal Essences Commercial
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Binghamton Basketball Program Not Getting Any Better
After coach Kevin Broadus admitted to violating NCAA contact rules, the school banned him from off-campus recruiting. On-campus recruiting is limited watching frat pledges play NBA Live on their Xboxes. [ESPN]...
Fire Up The Self-Pity Machine, IT’S BLACK SUNDAY!
And so it was that, come Monday morning, the denizens of New England awoke to a world covered in thick, black ash. A world that knew neither hope nor joy, but only self-involved douchiness....
When It's 8 A.M. And You Look Like This, You Might Be Close To Death
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
Gretzky Heads To Toronto In 46-Player Trade?
A new book claims former Leafs owner Harold Ballard once tried to trade his entire franchise to Edmonton. (He wanted to swap cities with the Oilers in exchange for $50 million.) Then Janet Jones would have married Darryl Sittler. [TorontoStar]...
Hannah Storm Once Rocked You Like A Hurricane
Forbes profiles ESPN's Hannah Storm. Of note: Her first broadcasting job was as a DJ at a heavy-metal radio station: "It was awesome. I would crank Quiet Riot, Van Halen and the Scorpions and just dance around the studio." [Forbes]...
Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...
Randy Hanson Worked For The Raiders And Lived To Tell The Tale. Barely.
"From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture that a lamp sat upon. He was screaming, ‘I'll f—- kill you! I'll f—- kill you!'." [Yahoo!]...
Are These The Harassed Red Sox Sisters?
An alert reader sent us this YouTube video, apparently taken at Angel Stadium during Game 1, and featuring a brawl between Red Sox and Angels fans. Could this be the incident involving the aggrieved lady Red Sox fans?...
Revenge Of The Customized Jerseys
Our personalized jersey collection has become so popular and so big, we had to add another room. The closet is now a walk-in. (But we can do more. Keep sending them.)...
Tim Tebow Lives!
His headache is gone so the big guy will likely play tonight against LSU. Will he start or arrive by parachute in the fourth quarter for added chills? [Times-Union]...
Pretty Girls Made To Feel Uncomfortable At A Baseball Game
What kind of a world do we live in where two attractive young women can't go to a baseball game without getting heckled by opposing fans? Sure, one of their ugly boyfriends was tasered....but what about their feelings?...
South Carolina Golfer Loses Arm To Angry Alligator
A 70-year-old tries to retrieve his ball from the drink, but a 10-foot alligator decided he'd rather pull the guy into the water and chew on him awhile. They should make a hilarious movie about that! [Fanhouse/ESPN/OurKitchenSink]...