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The Tom Brady Body Metamorphosis Is Almost Complete
And here's one for the ladies. Or men who like pictures of shirtless athletes. Tom Brady has been spending this off-season rehabbing, marrying, and getting all Vin Diesel'd....

ESPN's Mel Kiper Page Links To Hilarious Profane Car Ad (Update)
This is likely to be removed soon, so hurry: When you click on Mel Kiper's page today, you don't get Mel's NFL draft take. Unless the Matt Stafford debate includes a profane car ad (NSFW)....

Matt Vasgersian Christens The MLB Network With Its First F-Bomb
As the 2009 MLB season inches closer, you can see the fledgling MLB network really hitting its stride. Then last night likable host Matt Vasgersian said "fuck" into an open mic. Video after jump....

Congratulations, You Are No Longer On This Team
Did someone in the comments really call the NHL Trading Deadline "Hockey Christmas"? Well, someone—not me—feels this day needs to be live blogged, but let's try to keep it non-denominational. Enjoy. [Down Goes Brown]...

The Sad Demise Of John Odom, The Player Traded For Bats
Well, this has been a depressing day. John Odom, the minor leaguer who made news last year when he was traded for 10 maple bats, has died of an accidental overdose of drugs and alcohol....

Time Running Out For Missing Boaters (Update)
The search continues today for three football players who were still lost at sea, even as family members realize there is not much hope of finding them alive....

It's A Relief, Being A Dullard Hack
This is a new semi-weekly column from Leitch. It has words, and pictures. It's called Ten Humans Of The Week. It might or might not work. But here it is....

Bubba The Love Sponge Is A Midget Racing Dad
Sirius Radio host and Hulk Hogan BFF Bubba The Love Sponge Clem has his own racing team, where his top driver is his son, six-year-old Tyler Clem. [10 Connects]...

Things Aren't Really Working Out Between Redskins And Jason Taylor
Washington cut Taylor yesterday after the team asked him to take a pay cut and renounce his family, a plan he was strangely not on board with. [Washington Post]...

T.J. Houshmandzadeh Headed To Seattle
The man in charge of stitching the last names on the back of Seahawk jerseys is shaking his fist and seriously pissed. [National Football Post]...

The Nationals' Mascot Has A New Look! (Oh, Heavens)
This photo was taken a couple of hours ago at ESPN Zone in D.C., and should have been immediately destroyed. Presenting the new look for Screech the Eagle ... it's The Island of Dr. Moreau!...

Coast Guard Finds Missing Boat, One Survivor (Update)
The Coast Guard has found the overturned fishing boat missing in the Gulf of Mexico and have rescued one survivor. Keep checking below for updates....

Curt Schilling Denies Cubs Rumors, Sort Of
For confusing adventures in sports blogging, take a look at this entry from Curt Schilling's 38 Pitches on Sunday, concerning rumors that he might be headed to the Chicago Cubs:...

The Blackhawks Did Not Think This Promotion Through
Jonathan Toews scores three goals (twice) on "Free Hard Hat Night" in Chicago. Nothing says "NHL fun" like getting pelted by a shower of shiny red plastic helmets. [Not Qualified To Comment]...

And Here's Another Wrestler Whose Life Suddenly Has More Meaning Thanks To Mickey Rourke
Mickey Rourke's performance in "The Wrestler" has not only been a boon for his personal acting career, but it's also helped freelance writers and broken-down wrestlers everywhere stay afloat....

Eddie Hightower Finds The Nexus Of The Universe In Champaign
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Two NFL Players Lost At Sea?
Four men are "missing" off the coast of Florida after leaving shore on Saturday in a 21-foot boat and not returning as scheduled. Detroit's Corey Smith and Oakland's Marquis Cooper were reportedly among them....

Nationals GM Jim Bowden Resigns
Isn't it funny how simply adding a hyphen to "resign" gives you "re-sign," which means the exact opposite thing? So who gets the bonus money for running Jim Bowden out of town?...

Bill Simmons: Unleashed, Uncensored, and Uncompromising
Most of Bill Simmons' complaints the last year were about ESPN's strict podcast content guidelines and that he's not allowed to rip on other ESPN personalities. At least, not on his podcast....